“You little brat!” he yells, and I laugh harder. “I’m coming up there to get you.”
I squeal when his wet hand grips my foot and pulls me into the warm salty water with him. By the end, we’re both in the water laughing so hard that people start yelling at us from above. I wrap my bare legs around his torso, noticing that I feel at home, even in this giant pool of water.
His lips capture mine again but this time it’s slower, more meaningful. Every time we kiss, it’s like we’re starved for one another. Every time he runs his hands over my body, it’s because he forgets what I feel like. Things are so rushed lately, until this moment. He caresses my lips with his, moving his tongue languidly with mine. I reach up and run my fingers through his wet locks, and feel my heart emerge from its hiding spot. I lean back, breaking our intimate kiss, and look him dead in the eye. In that exact moment, Rowen looks directly into my soul and I into his; in that moment, our souls reconnect and I know that we’re back in the race. I just wonder where the finish line is.
By the time we make our way back up to the party, it’s died down. Some people are still sitting by the fire, but it’s mostly quiet. Everyone is more than likely passing out from their day-drinking. Alicia is staying with Kyle, which she made very clear to every male and female attending this party, and something I know that Kyle is more than pleased with. When I unzip the zipper to Rowen’s and my tiny tent (yes, even though there is a perfectly fine lake house only a few yards away, we’re staying in tents), I see that Rowen has laid out two sleeping bags. He climbs in the tent with me, looks at the two sleeping bags, back at me, and then back to the bags again.
“I wasn’t sure what you wanted so I just grabbed two.” I shake my head and crawl over to the maroon sleeping bag, unzipping it all the way. Then I crawl over to the other black sleeping bag and lay it on top of the first; spreading them both out, using one as a blanket and one as a pallet.
“I need someone to keep me warm.” I give him a tiny smile and he relaxes.
“Thank God,” he mumbles.
I quickly change out of my wet garments while Rowen is inside the house grabbing us some waters and when he comes back, I’m already lying under the sleeping bags. He zips it up and climbs in beside me. I scoot right over to his warm body and nuzzle my head onto his chest, breathing in the salty residue from our swim. I can tell my senses are in overdrive because I just keep smelling him and cuddling up to his warm body like I can’t get enough. I have to shush the rational part of my brain that keeps telling me to be careful, to keep my guard up. Instead I listen to the other half—the half that is relishing Rowen’s scent. This is what I want. I want to lay on his chest, and listen to the familiarity of his heartbeat as I fall asleep, forever.
Twenty-Four
I go back to school in less than a month. I have no idea how the summer went by this fast, but it did. It doesn’t feel fair. Normally I’m wishing that summer would fly by so I could get away from Rowen, but here I am, almost distraught that I’m about to go back to school without him. I know we don’t have to draw that invisible line this summer like the rest. When we both go back to school, not much about our relationship will change. We’re less than an hour away from each other, so I shouldn’t be feeling like the end is nearing but I am and I can’t quite shake it. The second I’m away from Rowen I can’t stop the dooming thoughts of what might happen. What if he leaves me again? What if he just cuts me out of his life like he did before? It literally keeps me up at night, tossing and turning, but when I’m with him, the worried voice is silent. Gone. The thoughts go away, the fighting hold I have with ignoring them disappears. It’s like he washes away all the bad in the world. He washes away all the worry.
We’ve taken things slow this summer, just getting to know one another again. We still haven’t had sex yet and I’m happy with that because I know the moment we do, I’ll be hooked. I’ll be hooked so deeply onto him that I don’t think I’ll be able to untangle myself if need be. I have to say that I’m proud of how Rowen has been able to keep from taking me hostage and having his way with me; Lord knows I’ve teased him enough.
Just as I turn over in bed, I see my phone light up. I grab it, and force away the smile that slithers onto my face. Rowen’s name has popped up and I feel like it’s Christmas morning.
Rowen: Open your window.
I sit up quickly in bed and text him back.
Me: Why?
Rowen: Because I’m climbing up.
Me: Rowen, we’re not teenagers anymore. You don’t have to sneak through my window like before.
Rowen: I don’t care how old we are. Your dad is never going to be okay with me sneaking in your house at one in the morning.
I let out a small laugh and stand up to adjust my large night shirt. I pad over to my window, hearing it unfasten, and sure enough I see Rowen’s strong body swinging himself up on the giant oak tree. I shake my head at his barely visible body. He grins and I step away from my window, giving him room to barely squeeze his large frame through my window.
When he stands up and brushes the leaves from his jacket, he looks b
ack at my window. I look around to see what he’s staring at and he says, “Did you guys get smaller windows?”
I stifle a laugh. “No, you’re just a lot bulkier than you were at seventeen,” I whisper.
He wags his eyebrows and quietly slides my window down. I can’t help but watch his back as he closes it. I can already feel the tug in my middle.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, as I gather my hair to one side.
“What I should have done a long time ago.” My eyebrows scrunch together as he stalks toward me. He grabs my face in his hands and smashes his lips onto mine. It doesn’t take me more than a second to oblige as I force my tongue inside his mouth. His hands are under my shirt in seconds, and the feel of his bare skin on mine heats my entire body. He lifts my shirt up over my head and I’m left standing in my darkened childhood bedroom, with nothing on but my silk lilac panties. I don’t give him time to stare as I’m kissing him feverishly again. I feel possessed as I rip his jacket and shirt off. He lifts me up and my legs willingly wrap themselves around his tight torso. He walks us over to my unmade full-sized bed and lays me flat against the sheets. He gathers my hands and raises them above my head, trailing kisses all the way from the crook of my neck to the very bottom of my belly button. I’m squirming so fervently that he has to pause to make sure I’m okay.
This is so different than when we were kids. When we were kids, we had nervous, trembling hands. We had no idea what we were doing—only taking each other to learn about the opposite sex’s anatomy. Back then, it was like he had a roadmap to my body, except it only had dead end streets and flickering stoplights. Now… now he has the perfect navigational system leading him right to where I need him to be.
He has one hand holding mine above my head and the other is slowly trailing down to my panties. His lips are distracting me as they, too, follow his hands, leaving small kisses everywhere he touches. I can feel myself start to build up, and he hasn’t even really starting doing anything. Once his hand reaches my panties, he pulls them aside and not even a second later I feel his warm mouth on my middle. I arch my back instantly and choke out a quiet moan, well aware that my parents are sleeping two rooms away from mine.
Rowen licks and sucks and laps me up until I’m on the verge of coming apart. My toes are starting to curl, my insides turning to lava; he is slowly undoing every single part of me. He finally lets go of my other hand and I’m thankful because I’m eager. I’m eager to feel him inside me; I’m eager to feel that passion from the both of us.
I sit up quickly and start to undo his belt; I’m proud at how fast my fingers move to get his pants off. Once they’re thrown on the floor, he’s only left in his boxers but I don’t waste a single minute. I push my fingers inside and strip him down, so he’s completely bare. I take in his length, and swell inside. The second I touch my palm to him, it’s like I’ve found my happy place again. His skin is so familiar as I stroke it, just like I used to. He’s already stiff as a board but the second my hand moves faster, he gets even harder. Watching his head tip back from pleasure almost rips me to pieces; not able to take much longer, I let go and pull my panties off so we’re completely bare on top of one another.
I don’t even have time to argue about whether this is what I want. I know if I give in and listen to the pesky devil on my shoulder, she’ll tell me to stop before I give myself fully to him again, but I shut her up the second I pull Rowen’s body on top of my mine.