Dear Love, I Hate You (Easton High)

@The_Axel_Fletcher followed you.

@The_Axel_Fletcher liked your picture.

@The_Axel_Fletcher liked your picture.

I cringe, careful not to follow him back. Remember when I said everything would go back to normal after I went to Theo’s place yesterday?

That might not have been entirely true.

Finn and Theo greeted me with a nod in the hall this morning. And get this, Dia wasn’t with me. These two have never acknowledged me unless she was around. I didn’t nod back. Thought maybe they were looking at someone else and I’d be the idiot thinking it was meant for me.

After all, Xavier was with them, too, and he looked right through me. Then Theo flipped his head back and yelled, “Hey, Harper! Still waiting for your sister’s phone number. Get on that.”

There isn’t a single person in the hall who didn’t stare at me.

“You’re going to be waiting a while,” I hollered back, and Theo cracked a laugh before dissipating into the crowd with the guys. Weird, I thought.

Then lunch rolled around.

I was more than thrilled to learn Brie wouldn’t be eating with us anymore, having just been dumped by the captain of the basketball team and all. And, to my great surprise, the cool kids didn’t flat out ignore me the way they usually do.

It’s almost as if yesterday opened their eyes to my existence.

Axel hit on me a few times. I politely turned him down, but if his name in my Instagram DMs is anything to go by, it didn’t stick. Theo bugged me about Ashley some more. I had to tell him she was taken. Poor guy turned his attention over to Lacey as soon as I crushed his dreams. Then Finn asked Dia and me if we were going to the game on Friday.

Being addressed directly, rather than treated like an inanimate object, felt weird.

A good weird.

I also couldn’t help noticing that Xavier looked like he’d rather be watching paint dry than be there. He barely ate. Barely talked. He didn’t laugh when everybody else did.

I’ve been hanging out with the jocks for months now, and while Xavier isn’t as chatty as his buddies, he’s also never this quiet. He usually talks back, entertains Finn and Theo’s rubbish, but not today.

Finn was worried about him, I could tell. He kept glancing at his best friend as though he wanted to say something, but never did. All in all, I’ve decided to cut the lot of them some slack. Maybe they’re not so bad.

Nudging the door to the library open, I slip my phone into my back pocket. Lucille stands behind the computer, ruffling through her purse. Her shift is over, and she looks ready to get the hell out.

Good.

We exchange pleasantries before she feeds me a run through of all that is left to do tonight. I nod along to her list, so desperate for her to leave I mentally count down the seconds until she’s out the door.

The minute she’s gone, I study the library, which is now deserted with the exception of me, and enter my access code into the system to search our catalogue. I type in the name of the poetry book, and the loading circle pops up on the screen.

Come on, you dinosaur.

Get a move on!

The computer gives me what I want three excruciating minutes later. For the first time since Thursday, it feels like I can breathe again. Like my shoulders have shed the weight of the world in a single second.

The book is in stock.

It was returned today. After I came searching for it, obviously. But by who? I take my investigation further, seeking the book’s borrows history.

“Mr. Tate?” I think out loud.

Why in the ever-loving hell would my science teacher check out a poetry book? I notice he borrowed nine other books along with it and frown at the date.

Sunday.