Dear Love, I Hate You (Easton High)

That’s not true, I want to scream.

They weren’t found.

This is a setup!

I zero in on the copies dispersed down the hall. These are pictures of the sticky notes. It makes sense. The only way someone could have printed them out on such a massive scale was if they’d photographed each confession after we stashed them into the book.

But… how?

Was someone watching us this whole time? Lurking around the corner? Waiting for the right moment to get to the book? Who could be so cruel? That’s when I notice the bold, black letters printed at the top of each copy.

WHO WROTE THE CONFESSIONS?

#FindZacAndLove

What. The. Hell?

As if it wasn’t bad enough that they exposed our deepest, darkest secrets, now they want to expose us, too?

“Dude, check this one out.” Axel elbows Finn, showing him one of our most painful memories.

“Man, I almost feel bad for this Zac fella.” Finn guides his fist to his mouth to contain his laughter. “Guess the ‘I fucked your mom’ jokes really do apply to him, huh?”

Axel and Theo burst out laughing. I feel so bad for Xavier. I can picture him standing there, taking his friends’ slander like a champ, but I still lack the strength to look at him.

I just… can’t.

“Guys, knock it off,” Dia snaps, swiping the piece of paper from Axel’s hands and crumpling it up into a ball. “That’s an awful thing to do, air out someone’s dirty laundry for the whole world to see. Fuck whoever did this.”

“Maybe they should’ve thought of that before sharing their dirty laundry in a book anyone could find.” Axel shrugs, picking another confession off the floor. “Someone’s been a naughty girl.”

“Let me see.” Theo snatches the confession out of Axel’s fingers to see for himself. “Damn, Love. Fucking your sister’s boyfriend. Now that’s harsh.”

“What a whore,” Axel sneers, ripping another sliver of my trauma off a random locker, and my stomach twists with shame. “Jesus, this is some dark shit,” he chimes after reading the confession. “This one is about some guy offing himself.”

I think I’m about to collapse for a second there.

The ground feels like it’s caving in.

Slipping under my feet.

Tears start pooling in my eyes.

“I-I have to go the bathroom,” I tell Dia, who’s too busy scolding Axel for his latest remark to hear me, and spin on my heels, maneuvering around the crowd of gossipy students.

It feels like my world is ending at an excruciatingly slow pace. I’m watching my universe implode into a thousand fragments one frame at a time, leaving nothing but embers and destruction behind. I think I hear someone call my name, but I don’t stop, making a beeline for the exit. I’m halfway to the door when a warm hand clamps around mine, holding me back.

“Aveena, wait!” a husky voice blurts.

I pivot to see Xav staring at me, blue eyes gleaming with a mix of rage and pain I’ve never seen before. I study the vicinity. Students of all grades are fully immersed in the confessions, passing the copies amongst themselves like it’s Hollywood gossip.

Laughing at the absolute worst moments of my life.

No one is looking our way, not that Xavier seems to give a flying fuck about people catching us holding hands. Seeing him standing there with his eyes full of regret…

I can’t keep the floodgates closed any longer.

Yesterday, I was living a fairy tale. This morning, I was a girl who’d finally gotten the guts to kiss the guy she likes. A lone tear rolls down my cheek, and Xavier winces, dabbing the tear away with his thumb.