“Oh… okay,” I say awkwardly.
Oh, okay? Did I just “Oh, okay” a future marriage proposal?
“Why?” He frowns. “Would it really be so crazy if I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you tomorrow?”
“I mean… a little, yes,” I admit. “We’re still so young. We haven’t even lived together for a whole year yet. What if you hate living with me? What if I’m messy? What if I snore so loud you want to throw me out the window? You’d be stuck with me forever, and you’d regret doing something so important on a whim.”
He shakes his head and pulls me into him. “Yes, it’s a big step, but it wouldn’t be on a whim. Nothing about loving you is on a whim, Winter. You’re a no-brainer. Always have been.”
His words crawl back inside my head.
Would it be so crazy if I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you tomorrow?
Images of us growing old together fill my mind, and I’m forced to admit that… no, it’s not crazy. Or nuts. Or insane. Every nerve in my body tells me it’s right. Just not now.
“Tell you what.” I wrap my arm around his neck and rest the tip of my nose atop his. “From now on, we tell each other everything. Even the dumb things we don’t think matter. Even the small details. Let’s promise to never keep a secret from each other again, okay?” I smile. “Then hopefully we can get to someday.”
A sharp pain flashes in his gaze, the kind that flees as quickly as it came but leaves a trace long after it’s gone. I can’t shake the feeling that he doesn’t believe it—that he can change. That his future can be better than his past, if he just tries.
He leans in, taking his warm lips to mine, only pulling away to whisper a faint “I promise.”
10
Blackmail
HAZE
The smell of coffee and food wakes me up. Scratch that—the smell of coffee, pancakes, and the incessant bickering of Will and Kendrick wake me up. With my eyes sealed shut, I groan and seek Winter’s body next to mine. Nothing.
Why is she up so early?
Ah. That’s right. Her summer classes start today.
I sit up, assessing my bruised hand. It’s looking a lot better already. I don’t know what the fuck drunk me was thinking. No, I wasn’t thinking. All I could see was the look on her face, the panic, the fear. For a second there, I was back to being the covered-in-blood kid sitting in a police station. For one fleeting moment, I was the town’s freak again. The boy people loved to watch destroy himself from afar.
A phone rings.
It’s Winter’s. I roll over to her side of the bed and pick it off her nightstand.
Caleb is calling.
He’s been blowing up her phone, trying to apologize since the party two days ago.
A text pops up on her locked screen.
Caleb: I’m sorry. I really want things to go back to normal between us.
I scoff, but my stomach lurches with irritation. If this guy thinks he’s going to be allowed anywhere near Winter ever again, he’s got another thing coming.
I slip out of bed, throw on a T-shirt and pants, and eye the boxes sitting on the floor at the foot of our bed. We’re almost done unpacking, and to say it’s about goddamn time would be an understatement. I’ll never fathom how Winter can have so many clothes. Or want so many pillows. She’s been saying she needs to make our living room “Pinterest-worthy” for days. I still have no idea what that means.
I turn into the kitchen, and a big silly grin broadens on my face when I see her in her pajamas, pouring smoking-hot coffee into a mug.
“Look who’s up,” she teases. “I was starting to think I wouldn’t see you before I left.” She draws the kitchen cabinet open and gets another mug out for me. I pour myself a coffee.
“Right. Your summer classes start today,” I casually say like I haven’t been full-on obsessing over that day for a week. I’m meeting a guy for tips today. They say they have something for me, something good.
It better be.