I don’t let the gesture affect me for longer than a split second. He was just doing what any decent human being would. Although I do have to wonder what happened to that sweet, caring Haze who would suggest adding his own number to the records to make sure I’d never miss a call.
“Where’s Lauren?” I ask.
“On her way here,” Jay says. “Pray that she’s stuck in traffic.”
Allie smacks a hand to her mouth. “Oh my God. Your hair!”
Bringing awareness to my makeover, Allie’s statement earns me a handful of compliments from all three of them. I do appreciate knowing it doesn’t look awful.
“Your father is ready,” the doctor in charge of my dad tells us with a smile half an hour later.
Jaden and I trail toward the room my dad’s been moved to, brimming with confounding emotions: relief, fear, joy, sadness. He’s lying in the hospital bed we were so terribly afraid he’d spend his last days in.
Jay throws himself into his arms, and my dad winces in pain at first, causing Jay to apologize profusely. He warns us as to having broken ribs, a fractured leg and a mild concussion.
“I’m here, son. I’m not going anywhere.”
Jay cries harder, nestling his forehead on my dad’s shoulder instead. My father’s eyes drift to me. “Hey, pumpkin.”
The nickname ends me.
Tears of joy come pouring down my face, and I’m next in line for the weird head-to-shoulder hug. There are so many things I want to tell him. Things I have to tell him before Lauren gets here.
“We came to see you almost every day.” Jay sniffles.
“I know.” My dad reaches for both our hands, squeezing our fingers tightly between his. “I heard you. All of you. I heard Haze, I heard—”
“Wait. Haze?” I frown.
“Yes,” he confirms.
“Haze came to see you alone?”
He nods.
“I also heard that someone stole my favorite pen.” He glances at my brother, who cracks a laugh. I had no idea Haze came to see my father. Why would he do that? I know they grew pretty close when we were together, but I didn’t think it was to the point of coming to see him after we broke up.
Jay and I catch him up on everything he’s missed, and my dad, being my dad, listens to every bit of our stories with a smile and genuine interest on his face.
“When are they releasing you?” Jay asks.
“They want to keep me a bit longer, but they’re hopeful. It shouldn’t be too long,” he reassures us.
Minutes later, when I see that Lauren still hasn’t arrived, I know it’s now or never. I ask Jay if we can have a minute alone, and he halfheartedly agrees. He doesn’t need to hear this. I can’t let my father go back home with Lauren unless he knows exactly who he lies in bed with at night.
“What’s wrong, pumpkin?”
“Dad, there’s… something you need to know.”
I get my phone out of my pocket, collecting the necessary nerves to press Play to the recording that’ll surely destroy the man who spent his entire life building me up. The only thing getting me through the guilt of making him suffer is the thought that sometimes, we need to destroy…
In order to rebuild something beautiful.
When Kendrick told me my dad was awake, it was clear in my head that any plans I had for the rest of the day were officially canceled. There is absolutely nothing I could’ve seen myself doing except be by my father’s side, especially after telling him a piece of news like that.
Yet, here I am, in my bedroom, bobbing my head to Beyoncé while Allie curls my now dark hair. I should’ve known better than to think she would let me escape her frat party plan. It turns out the doctor didn’t want anyone in their way tonight. Not to mention my father insisted on being alone to process what he’d heard.
He didn’t make a sound. Just sat through the recording and listened to every word down to the last second. Then, as if he wasn’t already the best goddamn man on earth, he looked at me, shed a tear, and said, “I’m so sorry you had to hear this, sweetheart.”