“You let him take the fucking d-o-g?” she asked.
“You spelled the wrong word,” I said.
“You love Mila. In that gross, irritating way where people talk about you behind your back.”
“So does Nick.”
She gave me a stunned look, but I turned away. How could I explain it, anyway? Even now, after Nick had caused me pain, the truth was I didn’t want to cause him any. Wasn’t that love, after all?
Jordan turned toward her daughter, shaking her head. “Sasha, do you believe this? ” she asked. “Your aunt is being loyal to a man even in the face of his questionable moral character. Don’t do that. In fact, that is what not to do. When you grow up and some guy is being bad, you turn on him like the wind. Understood?”
Sasha kept coloring, smiling at her Wonder Woman creation, Wonder Woman’s costume now entirely bright orange.
“Acknowledge that you hear me, baby,” she said.
“I acknowledge, Mommy,” she said. Then she picked up a different crayon, a new shade of orange, and started on Wonder Women’s hair.
Jordan kissed Sasha on the forehead, pushing her soft curls back away. Then she kissed her again.
“So here’s what I’m thinking . . .” she said, turning back to me. “And I don’t want to hear any arguments.”
I sat back down, giving her a smile. “That’s shocking.”
“You’re going to come with us to Venice, until the dust clears. I have an embezzlement case there that should last twelve weeks or so. We’re getting a great house walking distance to the Rialto. Right by the single best coffee shop in the world. And, as no small bonus, this Venice,” she motioned around herself, “will feel a million miles away.”
“That sounds amazing,” I said.
“Great. Then it’s settled.”
I shook my head. “I have to work,” I said.
“I’m sorry, don’t they have computers in Italy?” she asked.
I didn’t have a good answer, but I wanted her to understand how impossible it felt to take her up on her offer. “I can’t walk away from my life right now.”
“Annie, I think it walked away from you already,” she said.
I drilled her with a look.
“Not helpful?” she said. “I’m sorry. I suck at this. I just don’t want this to get as bad as it might get.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? ” I asked, even though I knew. I wasn’t one of those women who moved on quickly: had a new boyfriend a week later, had a new way of looking at the old one. My “process” was a little less forgiving than that. First I had to blame myself for everything that went wrong. And then everything that didn’t.
“Come to Venice, Annie,” Jordan said. “Nick will get over this. Life will go back to normal. In the meantime, let’s have some fun! Be the opposite of you.”
Be the opposite of you: those words hit me, right away, penetrating the fog. Be the opposite of me? It was day ten and this was the first thing I remember hearing that sounded like a good idea. It was the first thing that sounded something like a real plan. For getting on with it.
“It would help me out too,” Jordan continued. “Simon and I can actually spend a little time alone. Have a romantic dinner, occasionally. Go for a long walk.” She paused. “See? This isn’t even about your needs. I’m basically using you for child care.”
I laughed. “I don’t know, Jordan. . . .”
“Yes. You do.” She looked right at me. “We both know Nick’s coming back to you. It’s just the five-year itch. That’s a very real thing. I plan to be in Morocco for mine. Speaking of which, I’m going to need some hotel recommendations when the time comes. Something with a spa.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that simple,” I said.
“It is. But I’ll grant you that your five-yearer came at the worst possible time. Nick just got his first taste of fame and has temporary amnesia that he is a nerdy guy who . . .” Her eyes went wide, something occurring to her. “Stopped wearing his nerdy-guy glasses.”
“So?” I said.