Chapter One
THE LAIRD
Laird John Macrea had three problems.
The first was that he was in love with an entirely unsuitable woman. The second was that his castle was besieged. And the third was that he couldn’t stop thinking about the first problem long enough to solve the second.
As for the siege—well, he’d trusted too much that allies would come swiftly to his aid. It was often jested that the Macrae clan served as the coat of mail for the more powerful Mackenzies; John had trusted the Mackenzies would return the favor if ever the castle at Eilean Donan should be under siege.
But the siege had lasted on past Christmastide with no word of reinforcement and the situation was bleak. The enemy was demanding his clan’s surrender, generally.
And his head, specifically.
The laird wanted to keep his head, for all the usual reasons, but also because he’d need it to defend the unsuitable woman that he loved. A woman he had, in fact, made unsuitable. She’d been a simple highland lass, the wholesome daughter of a crofter. Heather was her name. And he’d wanted her from the first flower of her womanhood. With raven hair and enchanting violet eyes, she had seemed to him the sweetest, most innocent, most pure thing in God’s creation. And given the very impure nature of the his desire—a desire that manifested itself in a much darker way than with most men—he’d never intended to lay a finger upon her.
No. Tender-hearted virgins without lands or powerful fathers were not for the likes of Laird John Macrae. The needs of his body were meant to be sated in bawdy houses where brothel girls weren’t likely to be shocked by his rough ways. The needs of his line were meant to be satisfied, only if necessary, with a marriage for political alliance. And the needs of his heart—well, he’d told himself that he didn’t have a heart.
He’d convinced most of the clan of it as well.
He believed it too, until Heather…
“Can’t you sleep?” she asked, groggily, from the bed beside him, daring to take the liberty of stroking his cheek. God, but he loved the feel of her touch. The warmth of her long, slender fingers upon his cool cheek both soothed him and stirred his ardor.
“Just a bit restless is all,” he confessed, for there was nothing worse to make a man restless than being caged up in a castle defending against a siege. The waiting—constant waiting to see what the enemy would do next—was enough to drive a man mad. “But don’t trouble yourself about it, lass. I’ll drift off beside you soon enough.”
“Are you certain?” she asked, her voice sweetly soft in the dark. “You said—you said once that you don’t sleep easily with someone beside you. I can go to my own chamber. I should hate to be the reason for you to lose sleep, my laird.”
She was the reason he was restless, though not because she was spending the night in his bed, and it pained him to have her think otherwise. “Stay,” he said, turning to kiss her palm, which had picked up the scent of lavender from the linens.
Stay and never leave my bed.
Never leave my side.
Stay with me and be mine for all your days.
These things he could not say to her, of course. But he could not stop thinking them, either.
“Are you cold?” she asked, curving her body tighter against his side and bringing the blanket with her. The gesture was meant only bring him warmth against the winter, but it actually filled him with heat. With only her thin nightclothes between them, he felt the brush of her pillowy breasts against his ribs, the tickle of her womanly thatch against his hip.
He growled a bit in response. “No, not cold. Not anymore, anyway. You always warm me up nicely, lass.”
She laughed, softly. “As it happens, I might know of a way to cure your restlessness, too.”
He turned upon his pillow to face her. “Do you now?” he asked, with interest, in spite of himself.
“Oh, you’ve taught me many things…but I’ve some ideas of my own.”
He tried not to betray his anxiety about what her ideas might entail. The laird was a man who knew exactly what he liked when it came to sexual pleasure. He didn’t take suggestions. And yet, this girl—this surprising girl who had opened herself freely to his every depraved de
sire—made him wonder. “What ideas might those be, lass?”
He heard her swallow. Was she nervous? That made him even more curious.
“I—I have a gift for you,” she finally said.
“A gift?” he asked. “But it’s past Christmastide.”
And what a lean, grim, Christmas time it had been, too, with everything rationed in the castle and no goods coming in or out. His fault; all of it. Well, at least all of it that wasn’t the fault of the Donald and MacDonald clans who wanted to take the castle from him.
Heather didn’t seem to be worried about that. With a bit of mischief in her voice she said, “I couldn’t have given you this gift at Christmastide…or during the day. In truth, I’m a little frightened to give it to you now.”
He brushed a tendril of her dark hair away from her face, hoping to see her expression in the firelight, “Well, then, now I must know what it is.”
She rolled away from him before he could see her face clearly. Then she rummaged about over the side of the bed, returning to press a bundle wrapped in twine into his hands. “Should I light the candles for this?”
“I’d much prefer you didn’t,” she said, shyly lowering her violet gaze. “It’s a thing meant for the dark.”
Curiouser and curiouser…
The laird tore the twine with his teeth and cast aside the linen wrap, his fingers tracing along what seemed to be wood. In the dim light of the fire, he held up the mysterious object, which felt very much to him like… “A spoon?”
“It’s a stirrer,” she said, bashfully. “Or at least, t’was a stirring paddle.”
His whole body gave a start. A paddle. She’d given him a paddle. What a reckless lass to give a man like him such a gift. Surely she must know what he would want to do with such a thing! The laird’s prick hardened immediately. He was instantly aroused at the very thought of it, even though his emotions were a jumble.
In the dark, she rambled, “It’s—it’s badly scorched on one side and the cook said that it was ruined, so I swiped it before she could use it as firewood.” Heather took a deep breath. “But I didn’t ask her permission, so I s’pose I must be disciplined for it…”
The coquettish lilt to her voice was coming more naturally now than it did when he’d first seduced and debauched her. Truly, given all the ways in which he’d taken this girl’s body—even allowing his men to witness it—she ought to be as jaded as a brothel girl by now. But even this flirtatious suggestion, lewd as it was, carried a note of sweetness.
“Are you suggesting that I paddle you tonight?” he asked, his mouth going dry both with the temptation, and with the way both his heart and cock swelled with adoration. She knew how it excited him to dominate and discipline a woman. And she made herself obliging to those desires in every way. It filled him with even more tenderness toward her than it did desire. “I don’t want to hurt you, lass.”
“Yes, you do, my laird,” she said, daring to contradict him.
He kissed her very softly on the lips. “No. I want to give you pleasure. Only pleasure,” he said, trailing kisses down her beautiful neck. It was a lie, of course. That is not all he wanted to do to her. But at war within him were the tenderest feelings of protective love and the carnal desire to paddle her rump until it glowed red before taking her in every orifice and position possible.
She slipped her arms around his neck and bit her lower lip. “Have I—have I displeased you, my laird?”
The question startled him. “Why should you ask such a thing?”
“Because you once told me how you need to take a woman. Roughly, and with force. But you haven’t done that in weeks. Haven’t even found it in yourself to call me wicked names…haven’t let me submit myself to you truly.” She trailed off with a wistful sigh that might be because of his kisses, or might be because she missed the rough treatment.
John knew some women did like it; in truth, he prided himself on the way he could make women scream both in pain and pleasure. But those were either women of great sophistication or brothel girls. He still found it hard to believe that such a soft and soft-hearted lass like Heather could possibly like the dark things he did to her. And because he held within him a sliver of doubt he had to ask, “Why should it trouble you if I should wish to use you gently?”
“It—it shouldn’t, of course, my laird. As your harlot, it’s my duty to serve you in any way you like…”
She used the shameful word harlot affectionately and with pride. She used the word the way he’d wanted her to. The way he’d taught her to when he’d claimed her for his own. And in the midst of their pleasures, he often made her use this word and others far more vulgar. But on a quiet night like this, when his heart was filled with such love, he disliked the word immensely. Especially when applied to her. In truth, it pained him that he had ever used it.
But it also aroused him.
Which made him fall silent in shame…
Chapter Two