Hollow Hearts (The Harkwright Trilogy)

“I don’t mind being alone, together,” it sounds stupid even to my ears and an oxymoron I’m sure but his answering smile is enough for me.

Stepping over to a line of benches, I pull my top over my head, and slide my skirt down my legs, keeping my back to him. I hated this bikini the moment I saw it, but it isn’t like I can pop to the shops to get a replacement so I’m stuck. Two grey triangles with a gold twisted cord keeping them in place and the bottoms aren’t much better. It barely covers anything. I turn around and his eyes almost bug out of his head before he looks down into the water.

“If you don’t feel comfortable, you can keep your top on. I don’t need you to show me more than you’re willing or comfortable with. I’m not like the others and I’m happy to keep reminding you of that fact.”

His words warm me more than he could ever know and I pull my top back on, feeling my back relax and my shoulders move away from around my ears. I slowly make my way over to the edge and drop down to dangle my feet into the water. He leans his forearms on the ledge next to me and we don’t look at one another, we just stay here together. He doesn’t give me any orders and I don’t have to hate myself for going along with them.

“Why the need for escape?” It slips out without my consent and his eyes widen as he looks at me before he looks back down to the water. Watching the slight ripples my feet create.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on Maddox, you knew I needed solitude which means you did too. But why would a Harkwright want to get away? They build this entire place for your pleasure, you can take what you want and face no repercussions,” do I sound judgmental? I’m sure there was a hint of it in my tone, but I can’t help the way I feel.

“I can’t deny your words, they’re true in every way. Except for me, if I’m honest with you I hate everything my last name represents. The attitude, the way we use people and this whole damn place. I don’t want to be a Harkwright Luna and aside from an education, I’m not taking anything from this place,” he says it all so matter of fact and it hits me hard. His boyish charm is there but I can see the vulnerability in his eyes, he doesn’t trust easily and I think he wants someone that he can trust wholeheartedly. I mean, don’t we all?

“You won’t claim a girl?” I ask quietly, his answer shouldn’t matter to me, but it does.

“If I claim someone it would mean I see them as an object, something to own. So no I won’t, unless it was to save her or because we fell in love. Because if I ever resort to that action it would be something we both agreed on and because I would have no intentions of ever letting her go,” his eyes burn into mine and I can barely stand their intensity. The funny thing is, I believe it.

I slip off the side and sink into the warm water until it reaches my chest and my feet hit the bottom. I find myself being drawn to him and I didn’t even realize I was moving until my arm brushes against his. He looks at me before pushing away from the side and swims to the other end.

I won’t follow him because I can tell he needs his space and I’ve finally got the solitude I was craving, yet, I’d rather float here speaking to Maddox. The sweet guy with the kind eyes. He may be a Harkwright in name, but he certainly isn’t in nature.

I don’t have any lessons this morning and I know it’s more than a coincidence that my appointment will fall when I have free time. I look through my allowed clothes, that have been sectioned into the days I’m allowed to wear them and for special functions. I hope I never have to attend one of those, I can already tell that the clothes are not the kind of thing I would ever choose.

Selecting a blood red corset, it is striking against my pale skin and a pair of leather pants with a pair of heeled boots. I hate it but it was either this or a skirt that should only ever be worn as a belt and I refuse to stoop that low. I keep my face bare of any makeup and I can tell just by looking at my own reflection that I don’t own these clothes, I look as uncomfortable as I feel and the bastards are eating it up. Every damn day.

Shaking my head to clear it of the negative thoughts, I grab my bag and head out to the medical center. I pass a few Harkwright men as I descend the spiral staircase and their stares burn into my skin, but no one trie

s to stop me or make any demands, and I won’t wait around for them to change their minds. I can’t stop my mind from replaying that moment with Tucker every time I go to sleep, but I try my hardest not to let it haunt me in the waking world.

Damn, I can’t believe the way my body had come alive and undone by Tucker and then he goes and shatters me with his words. The worst part, I think I’m the one who is in the wrong. I knew what I was going to face and yet I have allowed myself to be affected deeper than I ever wanted. I’m playing a dangerous game and I’m starting to fear that I can’t win. Am I destined to fail?

I make it to the medical center and a nurse shows me to the waiting area, I’m not the only girl here for an appointment so my racing heart steadies a fraction.

“Does it hurt?” Fourteen asks and Seven scoffs before narrowing her eyes at the doorway. I take a seat and turn to see Daria standing there, shrinking under the animosity.

Her eyes are scanning the room before falling on me, I give her a twinge of the lips and she almost sags on the spot before claiming the spot beside me.

“I’m sorry for the looks you’re going to get, but you seem the least likely to try and kill me,” she says and I don’t think she’s exaggerating. Is she really in fear of these girls? And for what, because she was claimed and they weren’t? Wake the fuck up, clearly they’re the lucky ones!

“It’s okay, I didn’t come here to make friends and the two I have made wouldn’t judge me,” I say in reply, pulling my hair down around my face, shielding myself from their stares.

“You don’t hate me for being claimed?” She asks and I really should think before I speak, but I don’t.

“No, I pity you.”

I see her recoil from my words through the gap in my hair, but I won’t allow myself to feel guilty, she asked and I won’t lie. Not unless I absolutely have to.

“Why would you pity me? I don’t get it.”

“Because you’ve been claimed, as though you’re some kind of prize to be taken. It doesn’t seem right to me,” yes I know the world isn’t black and white but I can’t help the way I view the whole fucking, messed up system.

“Ahh, but you see he asked if he could claim me,” my mouth drops open at her words and she smiles softly before moving closer to me. Talking quietly, trying to limit the chance of being overheard. “Bradley and I knew each other when we were younger, until the Harkwrights fired my father and we were forced to leave this damn town,” she exhales hard and I don’t miss the slight tremble that is over taking her hands, until she tucks them under her thighs. “He died a few months ago and my mom has been struggling, barely making ends meet so I signed up for this place. Despite what they did to my family, they could be the ones to save what’s left of us. I never forgot about Bradley and he must have felt the same because he sought me out the moment we got here. He went crazy anytime any of the other guys tried to get near me and I didn’t want their attention. I only wanted his.”

“So why the claiming?”

“Because the other guys were getting more eager in their advances, I think it’s more about breaking me than an attraction. They destroyed my father, why not carry on the legacy? Besides, I really like Bradley and we’re going to take this time to get to know each other again, he’s keeping me safe and he hasn’t looked at another girl in here. Don’t pity me, be happy that I’m one of the few people safe from the darkness that walks these halls,” her ominous words make me feel as though I have cement in my stomach as she pulls away, and I guess the conversation is over.