You’ll Never Have Me (Never 3)

I bolt upright, and I’m hit by a serious coughing fit, I start shaking Harrison frantically and he’s throwing some rather colour phrases my way.

“Wake the fuck up,” I scream, as I smack him across the chest and fall to my knees as the smoke thickens and my lungs struggle to find clean air to breathe.

“Henleigh, Fuck!” I can hear the fear but my head feels foggy and I can barely focus on him.

I hear a tearing noise before a wet piece of fabric is placed over my mouth, is he trying to kill me?

“This will help you to breathe, stay low,” He says thickly, as he squeezes my hand and pulls me behind him.

I don’t know what I thought he was planning to do, but picking up a lamp and smashing the metal base through the window was not it. I’m then in his arms and he tears one of the curtains from the pole and wrapping it around me before I’m tossed out of the window as well. Some of the glass makes it through the fabric and I can feel warm liquid running down from where it cuts me, but the curtain has saved me from the worst of it.

I stare up at my house as the fire spreads and Harrison has yet to follow me out of the window. Come on H, get out. I can’t get to you. I’m terrified and tears are streaming down my face as I face the prospect that he’s inside burning to death and all because I piqued his interest and he wanted to discover my secrets. If he dies, it’ll be my fault.

Something lands on the ground before me and I look through my tears to see my duffel bag and I want to kill him, why would he risk his life to save this for me?

He quickly follows it out and although he’s coughing like a thirty a day smoker, he’s alive and soon he’ll be ready for me to throttle him.

It takes thirty minutes for the fire engines to arrive and the paramedics are not far behind, we’re both okay. We are both suffering from smoke inhalation and they want us to go in to be observed overnight, but I won’t do it. I don’t care if it’s foolish, I don’t want to go into hospital.

“Do you think you can change your girlfriend’s mind?” The paramedic asks and Harrison smirks at me before coughing again.

“Nothing can change her mind,” he replies hoarsely and I’m surprised he didn’t correct the assumption we’re together.

“Fine, but you are acting against our advice. If you start to feel any different, if it starts to get harder to breathe or anything else, please get yourselves checked,” she says, looking at us disapprovingly, but at least she isn’t going to push it.

“I’ll look after her,” he says with a small smile.

“She meant you as well, moron,” I can’t even sound sarcastic, everything is coming out raspy, looks like I’ll have to settle for an eye roll when my head stops hurting.

The fire is eventually put out but the left side of the house is going to take a lot of work to put right. I couldn’t stay there, even if I wanted to.

“Do you know what started it?” I ask and it’s now that I notice a police car has arrived and I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that this wasn’t an accident.

HARRISON TAKES me back to a flat he’s renting, I don’t know how he’s affording this place but he doesn’t leave me wondering either.

“The lady who runs the garage owns this place, she’s letting me stay here until I find somewhere else. She’s a great lass if you ask me,” he says and I can tell by his eyes that he feels nothing but admiration for his boss and landlady.

“Thanks for letting me stay here,” I say despondently, I can’t be happy right now not after what we found out about the fire.

Someone had poured an accelerant across my hallway and up the stairs, meaning someone had been in my home while we were there to set it alight.

I pick the duffel bag up and place it in his living room, I still don’t know why he saved this but I’m glad he did. It’s where I stored the letters, without him I’d never have the chance to read them.

“Seeing as we could have died tonight, maybe you can tell me why someone set fire to your bloody home?!” And now he’s shouting at me, well with his eyes he breaks into a coughing fit every time he tries to raise his voice.

I look down and refuse to meet his gaze and he chuckles this menacing sound which has my eyes shooting up to his.

“Fine, you can stay tonight and then you can get the fuck out of my life, fuck you Henleigh,” he sends so much vitriol at me that I can hardly stand it as he looks at me with such derision before disappearing into another room and slamming the door behind him.

My head is hanging in shame and I give in to weakness once more as I pull out my phone and send a text to Elijah. I may not have told anyone my new number, but I’d never get rid of theirs, any of them. Even Amias.

I’m weak and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be texting you, but something happened tonight and I’m scared and feeling unbelievably fragile. I’ll get rid of this number in a few days, but I have it now if you want to talk. I love you, Your Hen.

I hit send and watch as my phone notifies me that he’s received it and I don’t stop watching it, even as my eyes grow heavy and I fall asleep sitting up with my phone still in my hand. He doesn’t respond and my heart breaks as I realise I’m only getting what I deserve.

An hour is all I get before I shoot awake, screaming and damaging my throat even more. Harrison comes into the room with a disgusted look on his face as he takes in my tear riddled face and the blanket I’m holding in a death grip.

He jerks his head at me before he returns to his room, but this time he leaves the door open. I can’t sleep in there with him or maybe, he’s the best person to share a bed with. He hates me and the very sight of me disgusts him, and maybe I’ll be able to get to sleep if he’s with me.