“H,” I call cautiously but of course he ignores me. “Seriously H, get out here,” I shout louder as I turn away to make sure he’s doing as I ask.
“What now?” So much attitude and all I am trying to do is keep him healthy, yeah that is so evil.
“There’s someone watching the hotel,” I squeak out as he rushes over and looks out alongside me and he’s gone again. H stares at me as though I’m losing the plot, but I see him turn a corner. How am I going to convince H that I’m telling the truth?
“I think you should lie down and get a bit more sleep,” he says cautiously, not taking his eyes off me for a single second.
“I’m not imagining it; he was right there. Leaning against the wall, smoking a goddamn fag. I wouldn’t have thought anything of it but I swear he’s the same guy I saw on the train, he may have even been there when you collapsed,” I’m tugging at my hair as I grow more frantic. Sure, just add looking like I’m crazy to the list that’ll help my case here. “Please H, I need you to believe me,” I’m pleading with him, my words and my eyes, even the way I start to grip hold of his shirt and refuse to let go.
He rests his hands over mine and pulls them away, but he doesn’t let go. I can tell he’s conflicted, but I need him to believe me, desperately. I don’t want the only person I have to count on, to think I’m lying or worse, going crazy. Fuck me how did that happen? I never thought I’d see Harrison again once we left Padstow.
“Even though you sound crazy and really, you sound batshit crackers right now woman, I believe you. I don’t want to, but you wouldn’t be this freaked out otherwise, but we need to be certain. This isn’t me diminishing you,” he says as he puts his hands on my shoulders and runs them up and down my forearms. I have the sudden urge to lean into him but luckily, I am resisting. “I think we need to set a trap, just to see if he appears again and to see if he’ll follow you. And that’s the only thing I don’t like, it has to be you Henleigh. He only seems to show himself when you’re around.” I can see how much he’s warring with himself, and I understand why. He’s right this is the only way of doing it, but it doesn't mean I’m happy about it.
“It’s the only way. How do we do this H? Please tell me you have even a slight idea of a plan forming,” look at that, I’m back to begging. How fantastic.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you. We won’t do anything until we have a fool proof plan and you won’t be going out on your own, I will keep you safe Henleigh I promise.” He means it, but I don’t want him to make that promise and I hope my next words won’t end in an argument.
“Harrison, please don’t make a promise that you can’t be certain you can keep,” his eyes narrow and I place my fingers against his lips to stop him from interrupting. “I know you will try but we have no idea what could happen. You’re not superman,” I say, I’m trying to be gentle but who knows how he’s going to react.
I forgot I had my hand against his lips until he parts them and bites gently on my fingertips, a breath whooshes out of me. Why is this exciting me? Wrong place, time and person! My hormones are coursing through me, I think I may need to consider sorting myself out when I’m alone next.
“Okay, I won’t promise to keep you safe, but I promise I will try my hardest to do so. I won’t just roll over and let some two-bit arsehole hurt you. Okay,” he’s so sincere and his eyes are screaming at me that he means this. He needs me to feel safe with him, I just don't understand why.
DAY nine and we’re leaving the hotel, his idea is to act natural and pretend that we have somewhere to be. Luckily, we still need to find a car so we do have something we can do.
I’m not going to buy new but there are plenty of dealerships around that sell used cars as well, and they’re cheaper. I keep having to dip into my bloody ISA, I’m not buying top of the end if I may not have it at the end of the week. Fuck my life, this is so ridiculous.
We find a car easily, another Ford as it’s the only make I really like and it’s under a grand so it’s reasonable.
“We’ll split the cost,” H says, and I have every intention of shooting him down. I have expendable income, but he doesn’t. Because his father is narrow minded and needs a serious reality check.
“Nope not going to happen, you wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for me. I’m buying it,” I say, and I refuse to give in.
“Woman don’t start with me or I’ll go and buy a car right now just to spite you, I mean it.” His eyes harden as he stares me down, gritting his teeth and clenching his strong jaw. “Do not push me Henleigh,” he says and he’s so forceful and... I’m not going there!
“Fine, you want to waste your money that’s great, see if I care,” I throw back as I storm off to find someone who works here.
I come to a halt as I get closer to the building and see train guy, once again leaning against a wall just outside of the lot with a fag in his mouth.
He has a slight smile turning up the corners of his mouth as we stare at one another, I knew I wasn’t imagining it. He gives me a nod of the head as he starts to walk off and the next thing I know, H is running off after him.
What else can I do but stand here and wait for him to come back? Although I want him to find out who the train guy is, it’s making me nervous thinking about Harrison catching him. What if he gets hurt? Oh fuck, what if he has a weapon? Okay, anxiety is kicking in, I’m going to hyperventilate. My chest is constricting and I’m leaning my hands on my knees just trying to get more air into my lungs.
“Are you okay Miss?” A lady who probably works here asks, I glance up at her and she looks worried.
“I’m...I’m…” I can’t get it out through the panting, it’s hard to talk when you can’t breathe.
“It’s okay, everything is okay. Come on let's get you inside so you can sit down, and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea,” she says as she leads me inside and the panic eventually subsides. Although I know I’ll feel a lot better once he comes back.
FIFTEEN MINUTES HAS NEVER FELT LONGER in my life, I feel like I can finally breathe once again when he walks into the reception area and crouches down in front of me.
“Hey, what happened?” He asks, but for some reason I can’t answer. I think it’s because of the relief which is so strong, a lot stronger than I had expected and that’s surprising for some reason.
“Your girlfriend seemed to have had a panic attack, she hasn’t been able to get a lot of words out, but she is a lot calmer now. Is there anything you need or something I can do?” The lovely lady asks, and her kindness fills me with a warmth just knowing that there are still decent people around.
“We’ll be okay, it’s my fault I thought I saw someone nick something and I went off half cocked. I think it just scared her, but I won’t do that again,” he says to her, whilst looking at me.
“You’re a sweet boy, hold on to him missy. He’s such a sweet lad, and handsome to boot you lucky duck,” wow back off there lady, but I won’t say that to her, she’s only trying to be nice.