You’ll Never Have Me (Never 3)

His mouth is on mine and I can hardly catch my breath, my anger is starting to morph into something just as fierce and hot and I think only Harrison can quench it.

“None of this is your fault, do you hear me woman, none of it. If you want to run, then we’ll run, but we need to do this right and put some more thought into it. He’s always ahead of us and we need to figure out how,” he’s so damn passionate, why did he have to stop kissing me.

“Mattias is looking into it,” I reply meekly, staring up at him.

He brushes the pad of his thumb across my lips and I’m not thinking as I pull it into my mouth, swirling my tongue around the tip before releasing it with a pop. His eyes are rolling to the back of his head before they lock back onto mine, his desires mirroring mine perfectly.

“Let’s go before I find a reason for us to never leave this room,” he links our fingers before pulling me up out of my seat and leading me to my fate.

Please Mattias, I need you to have found something, anything. Because Harrison is right, we cannot run forever, either we go to a spot where no one will find us and live in isolation or he finds us and its game over. Maybe we can stop him, but the odds do not look good.

MATTIAS COULDN’T FIND ANYTHING, however he’s tracking us, it’s not through the phones. That option has been blown out of the water, we are still no closer to figuring out how he is doing all of this.

“I’m sorry Henleigh, I tried,” he says, looking and sounding so despondent.

“It’s not your fault, at least we know our phones are safe now. No more having to snap my SIM card every time I feel weak and message one of the guys,” I say, with utter diarrhoea of the mouth. I didn't mean to say all of that.

“Does that include Amias?” Noah asks, appearing in the doorway of the kitchen. I don’t know what he wants me to say, but I still won’t lie.

“No, I can’t forgive Amias for what he did. I don’t know if that will ever change,” I say simply, wringing my hands in front of me as he comes closer and crouches in front of my seat.

“Good, he’s an arsehole, and he doesn’t deserve you to forgive him easily. If you decide to, then make sure he works for it. Fucking dickhead,” I have no idea why he added the insult onto the end, but I’ve never seen him this angry.

“What happened between you two?” I wasn’t planning on asking him yet, but I have to know. They were friends, the kind I never thought I’d have. What broke it, please don’t say me.

“I couldn’t forgive him for telling you about me having my test done, I tried but then I found out about him and Elijah and it just got worse,” his eyes are widening, oh yeah he did not mean to share that little tidbit with me.

“What about him and Elijah? If this is some weird kind of kinky threesome with those two and another girl then you can blow over that,” my cheeks are heating, I wonder if he can see how embarrassed I’m feeling right now?

“Elijah was struggling to leave you alone, so he went off to uni and tried to throw himself into his work. He isn’t seeing anyone else, he just got worried that you’d jump to conclusions when you heard that girl’s voice and then he let it slip about knowing you and Harrison were together,” he’s staring at me and I can’t see a hint of guilt, did he not know? “I didn’t know what they were doing and when I found out I cut ties with them both. It hasn’t lasted with Eli, turns out it’s hard to stay mad at him but Amias is a whole other story.”

“Okay Noah, I need you to focus for a minute and not go off on a tangent. How did they know I was with Harrison?” I have no idea when Matti left and I can’t even begin to wonder about that, I’ve been dying to find out the answer to this question for a while now. Maybe Noah can explain it to me.

“Can we talk in your room?” He asks as he rubs his neck hard enough to leave a bright red mark.

I have no idea why a change in venue will make a difference, but why the hell not?!

We sit down on my bed and he takes my hand in his, his leg is bouncing up and down and he’s struggling to maintain eye contact. It can’t be that bad, surely.

“Amias got beaten because he decided to leave Devon’s, let’s say ‘services’ but after you left, he went straight back. This Devon that you both know wanted him to keep an eye on you, but he couldn’t keep track. Until he got Elijah involved, he gave him your number so he could keep track and he did it every time you messaged him on a new one,” that son of a bitch, Noah is drawing circles on my hand trying to calm me, I just don’t think it’s going to be enough this time.

“When you called him to ask about breaking into your father's office, he told Amias and then he rang me. T

old me everything they’d been doing. How he’s been helping Amias to basically stalk you and he was feeling guilty about it especially when we found out that your house was set alight. My love, that is all I know, but Amias has been tracking you for a while.”

“I have to tell Harrison, we knew there were at least two separate groups following us, I just didn’t think Amias would be a part of it. Although it makes sense, Devon told me he’s had someone watching over me ever since we lost Elliott. I’m just disappointed in myself that it took this long,” my cheeks are wet, oh well. Surely I must run out of tears eventually, right?

“What’s going on with you and Harrison? I saw you looking at him when you sang and it was hard to miss his reaction when we kissed, just be honest with me please Leighbear,” I need to stand up, I can’t sit still as I say this out loud for the first time.

A confession that Harrison should hear, but I’m not ready for that yet. Besides, Noah has always been my confidante, other than Roxie, why shouldn’t I tell him?

“Honestly, I don’t know,” swiping my hand over my face as I groan out loud. “We were friends out of circumstance, he was at risk because of me so we kept each other safe or at least, we tried to. I started feeling something that I couldn’t explain or maybe I didn’t want to,” no I’m saying this all wrong. Taking a deep breath, I need to stop moving. Looking into Noah’s eyes, I take in a deep breath and get ready to say what I need to.

“We slept together the night of the concert, it was irresponsible and crazy especially with how injured he was, but I couldn’t refuse him. I didn’t want to, oh god Noah I... I love him,” my heart has stopped beating, I feel lighter than air as I let go of the one thing I’ve been trying to fight and deny. It was exhausting but now it’s out there and I can’t take it back.

“You love me?” Oh shit, no, no, no. He was not supposed to hear that, spinning around to face him is almost more than I can bear. I cannot meet his eyes, not after what he just heard.

“I should leave you two alone,” Noah says making this even more awkward, I didn’t even think that was possible considering the situation.