You’ll Never Have Me (Never 3)

PIPSQUEAK

I’m sorry.

There can only be one of two reasons that you are reading this, either my hiding skills are seriously lacking and you’ve found it early and decided to be a nosy little twerp or I’m dead.

That is such a surreal thing to write to your seven year old sister when you’re only fifteen, trust me it’s eye opening and maybe it would have been a game changer by itself but I’m in too deep.

I never wanted to leave you to face this world alone and I’m hoping I haven’t. I have to believe that Devon and the others made it out okay and you still have them. Please don’t blame them for this, Devon never wanted me involved but you know me little sis, I never listen to the ‘if you know what’s good for you’ speech.

Okay, so I’m dead. You either know a very twisted version, an utter fabrication or the cold, hard truth. Whichever one you think you know, let me just say it won’t be all wrong, but I need you to know my truth.

In school we had to do a lot of work on Shakespeare and the famous Romeo and Juliet. It was an utter snooze fest and I couldn’t see how it could ever apply to anything until I met him. Damon Hargreaves, the kindest, sweetest and sexiest guy I have ever met. The issue was Devon and how close I was to him. You see Devon is in a gang and man are they going places, they control so much of London and no one even realises it. Damon has a brother who is in a rival gang and they will stop at nothing to destroy Devon’s.

Here’s the hard part, I’m a part of it too. I joined because I thought it would make things better for me and you. I could be rolling in it and all I have to do is break a few laws, I thought it was all worth it and then I met Damon and we fell… hard.

Devon tried to warn me away but nothing worked, until the boss sent in his marching orders and that’s where I have to go today. I really do plan to come back and teach you a few tricks on the stunt bike, no doubt you’ll even hound me about it before I go. But clearly, I don’t make it back, if that’s the case then remember that I would never hurt anyone. My job is to hold the gun and look as though I will use it while Devon takes care of a member of the rivals. We just have to drive there, get it down, empty the place of all its money and then we’ll be sitting pretty and I’ll be free.

I’ll be able to get us away from here and maybe I’ll even get to have Damon with us. I hope he doesn’t die along with me and seeing as I am dead, I can safely presume it will be because of his family. There’s this crazy motherfucker with the dead eyes who they always call in when things look bad for them. Dante is a sociopath, if he gets close enough, I won’t stand a chance. But at least you will be safe. I love you pipsqueak and I hope you never have to read this letter.

Always yours,

Elliott

I CAN’T BELIEVE I called it, I didn’t see the gang part coming or the star crossed lovers but the rest was as clear as day. At least he’s confirmed what I’ve always known. He would never hurt someone the way Damon was hurt, plus he loved him, so who shot him if it wasn’t El? And why?

“Are you okay?” Harrison asks as we come to a stop, it should be red for a few moments. Just enough time to steal a kiss or two before we have to get moving.

Our tongues tangle as our lips collide, he’s grounding me yet again and my strength and resolve is returning. Fuck this being ready or die crap, I am not going down. I will fight this fucktard tooth and nail and ensure that I make it back to Noah with H at my side.

“I love you Harrison,” I say, as the depth of my feelings consume me and leaving me a sappy, smiling fool.

“I love you too,” he replies with his eye soft around the edges as he returns my smile full force.

My smile is disappearing as the van heads straight for us, I can hear someone screaming and I think it might be me as Harrison swivels his head around just as the cab of the van smashes into his door. The car is rolling, ceiling to tire repeatedly until we come to a stop on our side and the whole world spins on its axis. Has there always been five Harrisons?

DAMN, opening my eyes is as hard as withstanding the force of a wrecking ball and living to tell the tale.

“Harrison,” it comes out quieter than I want, and I don’t know what I should do.

Releasing my seatbelt has me crashing onto him, as I feel for his pulse and my heart gallops just seeing his eyelids flicker.

“Henleigh,” he mumbles as a foot kicks in the windscreen and grabs onto my shoulders, pulling me free.

“Please, help him,” I beg, falling onto my hands and knees, I haven’t got it in me to look up at my saviour.

A foot connects with my ribs and I fall to the side, my head hitting the tarmac as my eyes flick up and connect with Dante and someone hiding their features behind a balaclava and a hoodie.

“Pull him out,” Dante orders, with a sickening smile that tells me I do not want to let this happen, but I’m powerless to stop him.

He drags Harrison free as he mumbles incoherently, please, please don’t hurt him.

“Shit, please you have to help him,” I cry out as he starts to convulse but I’m dragged to my feet and held against Dante’s chest as he’s making me watch Harrison’s seizure. I have tunnel vision as the horror unfolds and I forget how to breathe or even think.

“Your choice little hen, we can leave him convulsing and he may su

rvive or I can put a bullet in his skull. Your choice, you better decide quick or my itchy trigger finger may decide for you.”

No. How could he give me a choice like this? If I leave him he could die, but if I don’t he will be killed right in front of me. I don’t want him to die alone and scared, but I need him to at least have a chance.