The girls have gone quiet apart from a weird name that they now call me which is runner, how is running track an insult? They occasionally throw comments about Elliott’s photo at me, but they’re always quick enough to not get punched again. Finley still makes lewd comments, but when I told him how I’d have to repay him for helping me in front of all the Shepherds, he soon stopped his flirting. Oh yes, he got into serious trouble, Chelsea wouldn’t talk to him for a week and the other Shepherds avoided him like the plague.
Come next week everyone will be leaving school and returning home to their loved ones. The quiet will be nice but I can’t help but wonder what they are going to be throwing at me when they come back from their break. The other thing that worries me is that I’ve yet to see Mr. Terrifying again and I can’t shake the feeling that he will suddenly appear when I have no one here to fall back on.
Christmas break begins
The time has come to say goodbye to my friends as we have our last breakfast together for just under two weeks. Ivy is quiet and Elijah is hassling her for an answer to a question that I wasn’t even listening to. I feel so despondent knowing that they’ll all be leaving. I’ve grown used to having people to dine with and just chat and mess around.
Amias gives me extra training outside of the self-defence classes we attend, and I’ve watched all of his boxing matches. Ivy was born to be on a horse, and although I suck at it, she’s always on hand to give me a few pointers to help me improve.
Noah sits and does his homework with me and we often get paired together for joint assignments; we work really well together. And Elijah is just his usual over the top flirty self. I rarely see him serious but it’s hard not to be happy when he’s around. I still want to punch him half the time but since he told me he gets a kick out of it, I try to refrain.
I can’t cope with the heated stare Elijah levels my way each and every time we’re in the same room. Neither him nor Amias have tried to kiss me again and I’m not happy about it even though this was what I kept telling myself I wanted, there’s just no pleasing me it seems.
“For the last time, it doesn’t matter who I share a car with now butt out,” shouts Ivy as she slams her hand down upon the table and stands up.
She gives Elijah the middle finger before storming off and slamming the canteen door open with such force it bangs against the wall on the other side.
“Can you not go one day without aggravating her, she’s the only girl I have to talk to,” I say in utter frustration.
“Hey, I try, but she refuses to tell us who she leaves with for every break. If she wants a boyfriend fine, but why all the secrecy?” He bats his eyes like he’s the epitome of innocence, but I know he gets a kick out of winding Ivy up.
“Maybe because you keep asking. I’d do the same thing I’m sure. You need to learn that nobody has to share their secrets with you if they don’t want to.” I pause for a moment and roll my eyes at him. “Have you told me everything there is to know about you? I know the others haven’t, but you don’t see me bothering them twenty-four seven, because I just have to know everyone’s ins and outs.”
Okay, his words have gotten to me more than I’d like to admit, and I really don’t want to look into why that is.
“We’d tell you things if you told us anything about your life before you came here,” comes from Amias and of course now the secrecy conversation just happens to be turned onto me.
“Leave her alone, she’ll tell us when she’s ready to,” says Noah looking at me, and I mouth a silent thank you.
“Or maybe you’ve confided in one of us already,” says Amias with a cold tone, his jaw tight and his eyes are looking right through me as he pushes himself up and leaves the canteen as well.
“It’s definitely Christmas, you guys are always bloody miserable when it comes around. I get why you are, Noah, but those two? I just can’t even be bothered trying to unravel that little mystery.” Elijah leaves us as well and we don’t say a single thing until Noah says goodbye.
Eight
I sit in my room, waiting for everyone to leave. I never told them I was going to my parents’, so I technically didn’t lie. I just let them assume that I was. I can’t go back there, not yet, and two weeks to myself will help me figure out what I need to do about my friends.
Do I tell them the full truth of why I am here or just partial? And really, do I need to tell them anything. Clearly, they’re keeping things from me, but I can’t get Amias’s face out of my mind. He thinks I trust Noah more than him, but in reality, I don’t trust anyone. Although if I’m honest with myself Noah is the easiest one to talk to, he’s unassuming and lets me go at my own pace, would Amias do the same?
The halls go quiet after a couple of hours, and as I leave my room, I notice how quiet it really is. I don’t think I’m the only one who hasn’t gone home but hopefully those who have stayed won’t cause me any problems.
I grab my tablet; I think a snack and a dip in the pool sounds like heaven. I grab a sandwich and a packet of crisps before heading to the fitness centre.
There are a couple of guys hashing it out in the ring, three girls are using the treadmills and rowing machines, and there are a few people in the weight room. None of that interests me though, so I get changed and store my tablet in the locker before making my way poolside.
I’ve always loved the water – it’s freeing and makes you feel weightless. I don’t even think as I take a running jump and cannonball into the water. I push up off the floor and break the water's surface, flicking my hair off my face before swimming a few laps. Just like with running, I always push myself harder every time. I figh
t through the burn and the cramps that threaten to stop me, even as my arms scream for mercy.
“Punishing yourself for something?”
I come up short, of course, I couldn’t be lucky enough to avoid everyone as my eyes meet Finley’s. He may be nice to look at, but I’d still prefer to spend my time as the backside of a donkey than with him.
“Why do you care?” I’m suspicious, so sue me.
“I don’t, but I’m not going to jump in there and save you if you lock up,” he says as he draws circles in the water with his fingers.
“What is your problem, if you don’t care about hurting or helping me why do you keep showing up?” I swim to the edge and lean my forearms against the side. I genuinely want to hear his answer.