You Never Knew Me (Never 1)

“Noah.”

His head shoots up at the sound of my voice and he’s quickly at my side, stroking my hair away from my face.

“Hey, it’s okay don’t worry. I’m here, and despite what the nurses say, I’m not going anywhere.” My Noah looks and sounds even more tired than he had before.

“What happened, why am I in the hospital?” My head feels so jumbled and I hurt all over. Did someone put me in a mincer and forget to finish me off?

“Someone beat the ever living shit out of you, there’s no permanent damage and other than a fractured rib and dislocated arm you seem to be okay. They do want to keep you in though, because of a head wound, Jeez Henleigh, what happened?” He’s angry but I don’t think it’s directed at me, it’s because of what I’ve been put through.

“I had to get out of the class, when that email went viral, I couldn’t handle all the stares and whispers. I left and ran into that terrifying guy from before, so I ran maybe I should have just taken my chances with him.” I swallow but my throat feels dry and uncomfortable and Noah is instantly there with a glass of water and a straw. “Anyway, I ran around the side of the building and I didn’t stop and then suddenly, the Shepherds were there with some of their flock. I got hit over the head and then woke up in agony, I was terrified, and I tried to ring Elijah, but it went straight to voicemail. And then I rang you, but the line went dead and I thought you were all finished with me because of me being in juvie.” The tears are streaming down my face and I can’t stop them. I can’t get any more words out. I’m so fucking fragile right now and I can’t contain my misery and how scared I had been. Not just of the Shepherds but of being alone again. How did I ever convince myself that was the best way to be?

Clearly the dam has broken, and I can’t handle hearing what he thinks about the revelation and then I hear it, the one voice I cannot deal with right now.

“What are you doing to my daughter? Why would you upset her like this?” My mother, the woman who should have been there to protect me and keep me from harm, she’s failed so many times. And now she’s directing her animosity at the wrong person.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Monterey, but I’m sure you can appreciate how scary this situation is for her,” Noah replies, trying to keep the peace but my mother calls for a nurse to escort Noah outside.

“No,” the scream leaves me and even I am surprised by the intensity of it.

The nurse comes up short and Noah is frozen while my mother just stares at me and as my dad enters the room, it's just too much to take.

“Do I get any say in this?” My voice is thick with emotion and my dad nods his head to say that he’ll go along with whatever I need right now.

“I want Noah to stay and her to go,” I say, pointing towards my mum.

She puts a hand to her chest and her lower lip is wobbling, “but I’m your mum, I’ve come all this way to make sure you’re okay. I can’t believe you’re treating me like this.”

My blood pressure machine starts to beep faster and my head is pounding, the nurse comes closer but only Noah stroking my hair helps to calm me.

“I think it's best you leave, your daughter doesn’t need the extra stress right now,” the nurse says and my mum huffs before leaving.

I can see my dad hesitating over what to do, I want to roll my eyes, but I fight the urge before calling him closer.

“I’m still staying here this week, I don’t want to come home.” He looks dumbfounded by my words, his eyes widen and he keeps opening his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. And he’s fiddling with his tie like he always does when he’s gearing up for an argument.

“Dad please, I’m in pain and I feel like crap. I want to stay here, if Noah is staying as well, that is. He makes me feel safe, and I’m calmer when he’s around.” Please Dad, do the right thing. For once just do as I ask and give me what I know I need. If only I could say that part out loud.

Dad narrows his eyes at him, but Noah doesn’t even falter as he balances on the edge of my bed and puts one of his arms behind my head.

“I’m not going anywhere, I wasn’t going to leave this week anyway not with you staying back and everyone else with places to be.” His eyes are on me and I can see so many emotions battling for control and jumbling together, I’m just too broken to decipher them right now.

He looks at my dad before standing up straight and walking over to him, before holding out his hand for a shake. My dad is staring at him dubiously but shakes his proffered hand, nonetheless.

“Mr. Monterey I will take good care of your daughter. I know you don't know me, but I care about her a lot and I won't let anything happen to her. I don’t care that she’s been to jail, it doesn’t change the person she is,’ he looks at me as he says that last part, they both do. He means it and getting Noah back must be the silver lining in this shit storm of a day.

The tears fall unbidden once more and I can’t look at them, his words have rid me of at least one fear. I haven’t lost him, not yet at least.

“So, I take it you and my daughter are...dating,” Dad chokes out, and I really want to laugh.

“No sir, I’m not that lucky,” he replies and I’m just lying here with my mouth hanging open, is he for real?

“Can I speak to you for a moment please?” Noah asks and then he and my dad are leaving and I’m so exhausted that when the nurse gives me some killer pain medication, I’m soon conking out.

I come back around and it's clearly the early hours of the morning, Noah is fast asleep on a pull out chair bed and my dad is sitting beside me staring at his phone.

“Dad,” I say on a whisper, not wanting to wake Noah up. He jerks up and quickly hides his phone. Why is he acting so guilty?

“Hey Hennie, how are you feeling?” My dad is speaking quietly so he doesn’t wake Noah up, he looks as battered and bruised as I feel, but at least his injuries are of the emotional kind. It’s not better but his are more self-inflicted these days and I can’t help him to assuage his guilt.