You Never Knew Me (Never 1)

“Elijah, shut up. He didn’t mean it like that, he’s on about how there’s nothing wrong with you dating more than one person, not us,” Noah cuts in and I feel confused.

“You don’t want to date me though.” Hasn’t he made this clear enough already, wha

t is he trying to do to me. Talk about a head fuck.

“Not yet no, but I meant what I said to you in the hospital. If I can find a way to quiet my demons, then I’m fighting for you. I don’t know if I can share, but I’m not saying no either,” he rushes to add, before giving me my favourite smile of his.

“I am, I don’t share, and I won’t share my cub. If she wants to be with me great, but honestly right now, a party is the last thing on my mind. You guys want to go that’s fine by me, but if Henleigh decides she’s ready to try a relationship. Then it’ll be just me and her or I’m out. Until that moment, do what you want.” So final, maybe there really is no changing his mind and I don’t know if I’m selfless enough to give him up.

I think this is worse than having a bucket of ice thrown over you, in two-degree weather. He’s fine with me kissing the others as long as I don’t want to be with them, fuck me. I could lose Amias if I choose wrong. But what if making a choice in the first place, is the wrong choice to make?

“Enough, I will go to the party by myself, if you want to dance then ask. Otherwise I’m going stag, and you can sort this out between yourselves.” I shoot them all with my best stare, showing them that I mean business. “And as for you Amias, I’ve already told you that I’m not going anywhere, and you are not getting rid of me that easily. So, sort yourselves out and I’ll see you when you stop arguing over things that are irrelevant.” I stand up and give them one last glare before turning around and walking away. I won’t storm off, but I also won’t look back.

“What did you do this time?” Ivy says to the guys as I make it to the door. I roll my eyes as I imagine her expression when Elijah talks about his ‘great’ idea.

I’m intercepted by Bella and Leah and they’re more than happy to eat their lunch outside instead.

I can’t believe I lied to everyone at school, I don’t even know what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was Octavia shouldering me in my still tender ribs that were finally getting better or the dozen razor blades slid under my door. Maybe it was just the fact that I can’t take much more and have to get away for a little while.

I mean it wasn’t a complete lie, I do need to see the doctor today. I just don’t need to stop off at the ICU ward after.

“Hey H, how are you doing today?” I ask as I look at his chart and see there’s little improvement.

“You’re back, we wondered if we’d see you again,” says the same nurse as last time, Maria.

“My school wouldn’t let me out before today, how’s he doing?”

“I really can’t say, sorry chickie.”

“I understand, it’s hard not to worry though. And the boy who did this is wracked with guilt, I just wanted to give him some good news,” I say softly, taking his hand and trying unsuccessfully, not to cry. Maria doesn’t need to know the tears are for Amias.

Once she leaves, I go back through his folder, I don’t understand any of it until I see a treatment scheduled for tomorrow. Fuck me, he’s having surgery.

Fifteen

Mrs. Hutchinson confirms that he is set for surgery, she is royally pissed that I went to see him but there isn’t a lot she can do.

She doesn’t tell me a lot, only that it’s being done to improve his chances and to drain the fluid that is building up in his skull. I can’t tell Amias, it will only make him worry even more. I’ve looked it up and I know his chances don’t look good, even if he survives he won’t be the same person he was before the fight.

If that isn’t bad enough the guys are still acting like children in general. So much so, that I’ve taken to eating with Bella and the girls instead.

“Are you really going to keep ignoring them?” Leah asks, and it makes me laugh.

“I’m not ignoring them, Amias comes to my room most nights. It’s innocent I swear, I see Noah in the afternoon and we do our homework together. And Elijah is always bugging me, I just can’t be around them together at the moment when they’re acting like moronic twerps.” I laugh, but this situation is making me feel uneasy, and the guys are not making it any easier.

“So, you’re really going to go on your own. There are three hot guys happy to take you.”

I don’t understand why this is so confusing for her, what is the big deal about going to a party by myself? “No, there is one who wants us to go as a foursome, another who can’t be with me and won’t tell me why and the last who has made it clear that if I’m with him that’s it. I’m not even ready for all that serious crap yet, and even if I was, how the hell do I choose?” Groaning in frustration, I throw my hands in the air whilst the others laugh at my misery.

“If it isn’t the little tart, oops,” comes from Britney right as a hot liquid is poured down my back.

I scream in pain as Bella jumps to her feet and Britney runs off pretty much cackling like the hag she is.

The girls help me up and it’s agony, they quickly get me to the nurses office and she wastes no time in cutting my top off. Unfortunately, she can’t remove the material from the burn because it caused me to shriek and cry. Too damn painful. She’s now getting me into a wet room and running cold water over my shoulder and down my back.

I can’t contain my scream, it’s agony and the girls have been shown out.

“It’s okay dear, this is the best way to ensure it doesn’t get any worse. We’re going to have to have you sit here for at least twenty minutes and I’ll wrap up the rest of you so you don’t get too cold.”