You Never Knew Me (Never 1)

“In my mind this is now our song, I’ll think of tonight and having you in my arms whenever I hear it,” Noah says, reminding me why I have fallen utterly in love with him.

“Noah, I,” nope can’t say it, not until I know if I can be with him.

“Me and Amias will be outside waiting, you’ve got five minutes kids,” shouts Elijah making Roxie and Leah crack up.

Noah smiles at me before his eyes drop down to my lips, my tongue darts out automatically and he tracks it before dipping his head and brushing his lips across mine.

I rise onto my tiptoes so I can deepen the kiss, and I can’t believe it when his hands skim across my arse and pull me closer. He soon moves them to my hips, but that slight loss of control shows me that he does feel something. I know he’s said it, but it’s nice having him show it as well. I think we stand here kissing for close to five minutes, as the music switches off and cleaners move in, he finally pulls away.

“Do you want me to walk you back to your room?” he asks, as he places his thumb on my bottom lip, pulling it down before capturing it one last time with his mouth.

“Gods yes, but Elijah already claimed that duty,” I reply, and he smiles so genuinely I wish he was always like this.

“It’s not a duty Leighbear, we do it because we care. I’ll see you for breakfast in the morning?”

“Too right you will,” I reply, squeezing his hand before we leave the ballroom and join back up with Amias and Elijah.

“This buffoon says he called dibs on walking you home, lucky fucker.” I can hear his jealousy, but he seems to be in fairly good spirits so I’m not too worried.

“You guys over value the whole role, it’s just to my door,” I say, and I don’t know how to rea

ct when Amias is suddenly on me.

Fingers tangled in my hair, and lips claiming me in the most bruising kiss of my life. He pulls away and smirks before flipping Elijah off and walking away.

Noah is standing here with his mouth hanging open, before he shakes it off and hurries off after him. I see him grab Amias’ arm and he slows down so they can walk back together.

“What was that all about?” My fingers are pressed against my swollen and still tingling lips, as I stand here in a daze, watching him walk away.

“I think when we come back in September he may be upping his game to get you to change your mind on staying single. Come on Hennie bun let’s get you tucked up in bed,” Elijah says with a wink before wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me in.

“You are not coming in my room,” I say, and he smiles that cheeky grin before we walk back.

I meant it, he doesn’t come in but we do stand in my doorway wrapped up in one another for a good twenty minutes. I have to eventually push him away and order him to bed before I’m closing my door, and even though I’m smiling, I still can’t help but wonder. When will the other shoe suddenly drop?

This last week has been crazy, I still don’t know why Noah doesn’t do the advanced maths class. But that isn't really all that important to me now. He left school the day after the party, we met up for breakfast and he dropped a major bombshell. I can’t wrap my head around his revelation but what really bothers me is the way he’s acting about it. It’s the reason why I’m ringing him instead of queuing up for lunch, he can’t keep running from it!

“Hey Leighbear, how’s the last week of school going?” He sounds happy and I’m about to ruin it. Oh well, I’ll feel guilty later.

“No time for pleasantries, are you going to do it? Because you can’t keep living in fear, isn’t it better to know? What are you so afraid of?” I’m rushing through it, I think I’m worried he’ll hang up on me, even though I know deep down Noah would never do something like that.

“I’m afraid that I’ll have it and then I can kiss goodbye to any type of life I ever let myself imagine having. I’d have to face the reality that I’d never get a chance with you and I will spend a lot of my adult life in an assisted living place.” He sighs deeply and his fear is bleeding through the phone. “So yeah, I’m avoiding having the test done because I’m terrified, what would you have me do? Do it because you yelled at me to.” Here comes the attitude, I’m just not sure I really deserve it.

“Noah, you said you have demons that could go away, you need to face facts; whether you have it or not will not determine your life. It could be years before you develop any symptoms and you could still end up with me,” I say in utter frustration, I said the exact same thing last time and no doubt he’ll shoot me down once more.

“Henleigh, you’ve been through so much already. What if we got together and we fell in love, do you really think I could put you through that.” Oh Noah, I’m already in love with you. I’m just glad you can’t see my tears right now. “Watching the guy you love change, waste away and inevitably die. I won’t do it, and as I said before I will get the test done, I just want to live in denial for another month or so. Please don’t make me think about ignoring your call every time I see it.”

“Okay Noah bear, but when you come back in September we need to sit down and talk. There are things you need to know and I won’t say them over the phone. I have my own demons too, you may not want to know me once you know what they are,” I can hear the sadness and fear in my own voice.

The slight wobble to my words. The way I inhale and have to force them out, there’s no way he’s missed it either.

“Leighbear, of course we’ll talk when I come back. There’s actually something I want to run by you but it’ll have to be later, will you be okay if I go?” Selfless Noah, wanting to make sure that I’m okay.

“Hey sure I will, go spend some time with your mum. I’ll speak to you soon,” I don’t release my sigh until I disconnect the call.

I better go to the canteen and see what I can scrounge up, it’s going to be a weird summer and I’m going to miss Noah and Amias like crazy.

Luckily, I can get a hold of a sandwich but I’m not really in the mood to socialise, that feeling only intensifies when I get to my room and find an envelope on the floor.