You Never Knew Me (Never 1)

I rest my head on the bed for a second before sitting up straight and sighing, I feel so drained at the moment.

“My mum wrote to me, worded it as an apology but she still found a way to bring my own pain to the surface. She can’t put herself down, without bringing others down with her. You know, I know you probably can’t hear me, and you won’t remember any of this even if you could. But I need to talk about it to someone, and I think you’re the best bet right now.”

I hold his hand between both of mine, trying to work out where to start. I feel ridiculous, but maybe it will do some good getting it off my chest.

“Elliott was my hero, but I keep thinking that he knew he may not make it home to me. Does that mean he was doing something dodgy or was it more of a sixth sense? I’ve felt so alone since he was taken from me and I’m finally realising just how lonely I really was. I did something really bad H, something I can’t forgive myself for and I don’t expect or want others to either.” It’s so much easier to speak to him, I know it's because he can’t really hear me, and he can’t answer back but the point still stands. And I like keeping him company.

“I hurt someone real bad, it wasn’t deliberate but it’s what I did after that weighs on me the most. I wish I could talk to her and tell her how sorry I truly am and how, if I could, I would switch places with her in a heartbeat.”

I can’t say any more, so instead I’m just going to sit here until it’s time for me to leave. I’ll meet up with Eli, climb in the car his mum sent down and then it’s off to London to meet the parents. I don’t even know which one is the most daunting right now.

Maria comes in just as I’m about to leave and her words make me feel sad, apparently his parents have to leave in two weeks, which means he won’t have any visitors. How am I supposed to swing that?

Climbing into the car, I can already tell something is going on. Eli won’t look at me apart from a few sideways glances, oh I am so screwed.

“What have you done?”

“Hey, I haven’t done anything I swear. It’s just, my mum wanted to meet the only girl I’m willing to bring home,” he says while giving me a sheepish grin.

Oh no, please don’t say it, please don’t say it.

“She’s in the front seat and she’ll be joining us here in the back soon, she just didn’t want you to feel ambushed.” Yeah you better look guilty Elijah, this is some real sneaky shit and I do not appreciate it.

“Little late for that Eli,” I say as the door is pulled open and a genuine laugh fills the car.

“Someone can call you Eli, she must be a special lady,” says Elijah’s mum, I’m assuming.

She has the same shade of blonde hair as her son and her eyes are a brighter blue, but still stunning. She’s ageless and looks way too young to have a son my age. she has crows’ feet by her eyes which just shows how much she smiles.

“Um, hi.” Real smooth Henleigh, and why have I got my hand up.

“Hello Henleigh, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Elisa, usually a hugger but you’ve been saved from that fate due to the car.”

Again, my smile feels more like a grimace but I’m so nervous. I thought I’d have time to prepare, how am I supposed to act in this situation?

“Baby it’s okay, just be yourself,” Elijah says as he wraps one of his arms around me and Elisa’s smile grows even wider.

“We’ve missed our son so much, but I was able to convince his dads to stay at home, I thought that may have been a tad excessive for a first meet. Now, the address Jah gave me is surprising. Do your parents know where you’re going?”

“No ma’am they don’t, I won’t ask you to lie for me or keep it from them; if you feel you need to tell them then I understand. But this is something I need to know – they think they’re protecting me keeping me in the dark. It’s just, I don’t agree with them. I think it’s destroying my life and it’s keeping me from being the person I want to be.”

I didn’t know I was gripping Eli’s hand until he’s squeezing mine back. I’m so glad he’s here with me, even if that thought is a proper shocker for me. I can’t believe I’m finding comfort in the one guy who can really push my buttons.

“I feel that your parents should know, but I wouldn’t appreciate being told something like this by a complete stranger. I just hope you will tell them yourself, as for staying with us although I am more than ready to have another lady in the house. You need to speak to your parents first.”

I can feel my face draining of all my colour, shit on a cracker if I do that he’ll drag me back home. I was looking forward to seeing Bella for a week before I have to go back to my ‘rents house.

“Ask them if you can stay and I will speak to them after. I’ll assure them it will be perfectly safe and under adult supervision the entire time.” She exaggerates the last two words whilst pointedly looking at Elijah.

I’m pulling my phone out, and I’m ringing before I can talk myself out of it. I don’t want them to answer but of course good old Dad picks up on the third ring.

“Hennie, how are you? Are you calling to ask to come home early?” He sounds nervous as he asks that part, something is going on.

“Dad, I’m okay, tired but glad to be out of there for a little while. I was wondering if I could stay with a friend for a few days before I go to Bella’s. It is a guy but it’s harmless I promise.”

“Is it that Noah kid?”

“No, Noah is spending some alone time with his mum. It’s Elijah and I know you haven’t met him but he’s not that different from Noah at all,” I’m really trying not to laugh as I say this, they’re bloody chalk and cheese.