You Were Never Honest (Never 2)

“Only his cousin, but she had to go home as well. She comes every weekend though, he’s got a good support group. Now you get in there and see your man, I’ll be in shortly to check his vitals,” she pats me on the arm before moving away.

I can’t believe how peaceful he looks, entering his room and claiming the seat at his bedside, it feels as if he will open his eyes at any moment. I know it can’t actually happen which is good for me really, I don’t think the stress of seeing my face when he first wakes up will be good for him.

“Hey H, you’ve got a nice five o’clock shadow forming. It’s good to see you and I hear the surgery has had some promising developments. You’ll be back at Padstow and glaring at me in no time, no idea why that’s a good thing right now.” A light chuckle passes my lips as I run my fingers along his scruff. Why am I doing this? I’m asking myself this every time I come here.

“But if it means you’re getting better, then I’ll deal with it. Some good news, I confronted Devon. The bad part, I felt seven years old again.” My voice sounds almost childlike to me, all my old fears and insecurities rising to the surface. “It was pointless in the fact that I still don’t know what happened that day but he gave me some promising leads. He knows what caused my brother to die, and it didn’t sound like an accident, I just wish I could access the records. Good old Dad had them sealed, but he knows, so maybe he has some proof hidden back at home.” The only issue with that, I’m not sure when I’ll make it back there.

The door opens and Maria is entering, definitely going to shut my trap right now. It’s giving me a few moments to think and I’m loving where my mind is going right now.

“Oh H my dear, I’ve had a great idea. All I need to do is convince Noah and Mattias of that fact. If that fails there’s always Mr. Connors. I’m willing to play the long game this time, even if it takes the next two years. I will discover the truth, find out who PastFinder really is and finally right my biggest wrong. I can’t make what I did right, but she needs to know that I’m sorry and if I could, I would do it differently.”

I’m lying to the guy in a coma, I’m despicable. Of course I’d never want to destroy her, but then I never would have come to Padstow and met my guys. Even if one of my guys is about to get a huge wake up call, the best part, growing up with Devon influenced me terribly. I will get revenge for Amias making me fall for him when it was only a job and I’m going to make him suffer but first, I’ll be his dream come true.

“Do you think I can do it H, actually hurt him? I mean I know I can, but do I really want to? I guess only time will tell, but he has to know what he did was wrong, he can’t mess with people like that. I really hope you wake up, because I may have a bitch streak but I can’t cause him pain while he’it’s worrying about you. Get better man, I’ll be back soon.”

Why am I kissing his forehead? Henleigh snap out of it. I have to remember that I don’t actually like this guy, someone help me I think I’m finally starting to lose my mind.

I’m going to ruin this relaxing day I’m having with Dad, but I have to know. I can’t put it off any longer.

“Dad, did Noah tell you about his Mum?” I’m trying to sound matter of fact and unaffected, but I don’t think I’m pulling it off.

“Yes Hennie he did, I’m glad he finally told you. I could see how much you care for one another but I agree with him, it isn’t fair to either of you to embark on a relationship until you know if he has it as well.” He’s looking at me with pity and a sad smile, now I’m getting mad.

“Oh for crying out loud, it’s Huntington’s Dad why are you two so narrow minded about all of this.” I’m shouting at my Dad and he’s giving me the look that is telling me I’d better calm down before things escalate. “I know it’s hard for him and his Dad having to see his Mum deteriorating and changing before their eyes, but isn’t getting to be with her enough to take on the pain. Dad, I don’t care if he has it or not, I…” my voice breaks and I can’t say anymore.

He’s pulling me into his arms and I hate that I’m crying right now, when did I become such an emotional sap?

“My sweet Hennie, are you in love with him?”

“Yes and it’s killing me, I mean it’s sad whether he has it or not, it doesn’t matter to me. But he won’t have the test done, he says he wants to, but he’s afraid. I understand that I do, but isn’t it better to know? He’s already said if he has it he won’t put me through that, it’s a load of horse shit,” I say, trying to stifle my sobs and get a little composure back.

“That isn’t your choice to make my girl, and you can’t force him to have it done. It’s his choice and he will have it if or when he decides he’s ready to know. Just be there for him, show him that you mean what you say without any of the added pressure. Just be you, maybe not the version of the latter years though, she’s not very sympathetic.”

His rubbing his hands up and down my arms as he gives me a look full of love, feels like I stopped getting this look when my brother died.

“Thanks Dad, I love you too.” I’m sniffling and laughing, it’s not pretty but it’s me and I’m okay with that.

I hate when he ruffles my hair but I enjoy playing shithead with him and thrashing his OAP arse. Every. Damn. Time. I know he’s only playing it to make me feel better and I appreciate more than any words he could say.

We spend the rest of the day playing cards, making dinner together but now he’s going to his room to talk to Mum. I can’t talk to her right now and I am surprised that he didn’t ask if I wanted to, even if I am relieved.

Sitting on my bed, I am wearing the biggest smile when a missed call pops up from both Noah and Elijah. The latter can wait for a minute, I’m missing Noah like c

razy and speaking to him sounds like I’m getting my own little piece of heaven.

“There’s my Leighbear, how are you?”

“I’m doing good, I’m actually still down in Cornwall. I think Dad needed a holiday, so he decided to come down here, just me and him,” I say in reply, still smiling like a loon.

“That’s great, I’m looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks. Padstow has never seemed so good, corny I know.”

“It’s okay, corny works for you. How’s your mum doing?” I ask, and I can hear the pain as he exhales loudly.

“She went for my Dad today, she just got so angry over nothing. It was scary and Dad is thinking about cutting my stay short, he doesn’t want me around her when she’s like this. It’ll only upset her and he wants me to keep the good memories clear in my head.”

“I’m sorry Noah bear, I’m here if you ever need to talk or just get your mind off of it for a little while. Anything to help you,” now I’m being the corny one, but I mean every word of it.

“Thank you my love.”