You Were Never Honest (Never 2)

Damn it, I don’t want to think. Why can’t I just shut off for five minutes, it's driving me to despair and if I have to look at one more photo of my nearly broken body, I think I may explode.

A hand lands on my shoulder, my instincts kick in straight away and I seize their wrist. I get up and at the same time twist their arm up and bend their wrist until it’s behind their back.

“Well blow me, what were you thinking?” I ask as I push Amias away and he stumbles before righting himself.

“I did say your name plenty of times, it’s not my fault you're blasting music loud enough that I can hear every bloody word. What is going on with you? I know girls have an attitude ten miles long but this is ridiculous.” He’s spitting mad at me right now, and it’s ridiculous, he wants a fight, then he can have one.

“Ever think that you may be my problem, because I think you’ll see that the other two find me a delight,” I shoot back and I really should not be excited by how much my words are affecting him; angering him.

I really need to pay more attention when he’s around, I’m supposed to be able to stop him from getting close enough to throw me over his shoulder.

“Put me down jackass, I will seriously make you pay for this,” I shout out as I smack my hand down on his back but it has no effect on him.

“Go for it little cub, I’m quaking in my boots,” he replies as we leave the fitness centre and he carries me around the corner.

“Where are you taking me?”

“We need to have a little chat and I’d prefer it happen without your ‘boyfriends’ present,” disdain dripping from his tongue as he says the word boyfriends.

We come to a stop by the old shed and I either go up and have it out with him or stand my ground, but my curiosity always seems to win these days.

I climb up and I can hear his sharp inhale, oh yeah Lycra shorts are very figure hugging.

I drop down on the other side of the wall and wait for him to join me, I don’t know where he’s planning on taking me.

“Come on Henleigh, keep up if you can,” he says as he starts jogging away and I can easily keep pace with him.

We run through the trees until we come to a beast of a tree and he starts climbing it, there’s a tree house, why?

He goes inside and throws down a rope ladder, guess I’m going up.

“Take a seat,” he says as I enter and find a pile of cushions spread around it.

“What do you want Amias? Is all of this really necessary?” I shake my head, not that he can see it, I’m beyond done with this bullshit.

“Well I’m optimistic that our conversation is going to end well, and I thought we could see in your birthday together,” he’s smirking as he says it and all I want to know is how he found out.

“We all know little cub, your Dad told Elisa, and she wasn’t going to let her son forget to buy you a present. Not that you’d told any of us, why is that Henleigh?” He sounds amused, but I can hear the irritation fighting for control, he hates being in the dark. How ironic.

“It’s not a big deal I’m only turning eighteen, now get on with whatever it is you feel we need to talk about,” I wonder if I continually sigh in an exaggerated way, will it get through to him and stop all this nonsense?

“I know why you’re so pissy with me, I figured it out and I’ve tried to make it right but I talk myself out of it. I should have said this to you before,” he says this thickly and the hesitation is as clear as a sun shining down from a cloudless sky.

My breathing has stopped, is he going to admit it? Is he going to tell me about Devon? I think I could let go of the hurt and anger if he’s upfront about it, maybe.

“I want to try this sharing malarkey with you, but I’m hoping by the end of the year you’ll see I’m the only guy you need. Those guys are my friends but I’m in this to win. I want the chance to call you mine Henleigh, I just don’t want to see you kissing the others, a little too much for me,” he says and my face just... falls. I wasn’t expecting this and I don’t know what to say, do or even how to feel.

“Ahh, that’s all you wanted to talk about?” I say, my tone as flat as a damn pancake, but I’m in a turmoil of his creation.

“Oh, yeah I shouldn’t have presumed you’d still be interested in me. Okay, we’ll stay here and I’ll get your boyfriends to replace me,” he sounds so cold and distant.

I hate that he’s hurting, but isn’t this what I wanted? No, I wanted him to suffer but to know the reason why. This is different and I won’t lie to him, omissions sure but not outright lies.

“I am interested Amias, it’s just that I didn’t think you would be. You said yourself that you’re jealous and don’t share, why would I expect you to do something like this,” I say but I already know the answer, because he’s order bound.

“Because it’s you, surely

you can see how twisted you’ve got me. When Harrison went to hospital you stayed with me and made sure I was okay, plus you don’t let anything keep you down. Your incredible Henleigh, I’ll break my own rules for you.” He’s trying to reach for me, but I’m stepping away, I can’t think straight when he’s touching me, holding me, making me love him more.