Grace was the one to reach out and take my hand in hers, and electricity and pleasure moved through me. “It’s probably better that way. You don’t have to carry that burden.”
In that instant she took everything away, the dark memories of being alone after my parents passed, and the sadness that tried to creep up and claim me. She was the light, and I was desperate for it, having lived my entire life with shadows surrounding me. I just wanted to grasp on to her and not let go.
“I really am sorry, Lucian,” she said softly.
I didn’t stop myself from leaning across the table, cupping the side of her face, and kissing her. She tasted of wine, sweet and potent, addictive and mine. I forced myself to sit back, but all I wanted to do was keep kissing her, to have our lips pressed together until we were breathless, until the control was completely snapped in two.
“It was so long ago it feels like another life.” I cleared my throat and saw the waitress bringing our food.
Nothing was said as the first course was brought out. It was Il Primo, a garlic and butter infused gnocchi. We ate in silence, and before the topic could be broached again, the Il Secondo was served, which consisted of a delicious chicken dish I knew was from the northern parts of Italy where Vincenzo’s family was from. With the chicken, the Contorno was served, a fresh salad with vinegar and oil dressing, and topped with a sprinkling of salt and pepper.
Vincenzo came by to make sure everything looked perfect, and then left us.
The silence stretched between us, and although I didn’t want to spoil our meal with talk of how shitty my past had been, I’d already opened that box.
“You don’t have to talk about it. I know it’s painful.”
She was so empathetic, so perfect in every way.
“I want to tell you. I want you to be let into every part of my life.”
“I’d like that, Lucian.” The way she said my name had my pulse racing.
“My childhood consisted of being in my uncle’s shadow, learning the business, and being promptly neglected. I had no friends once I moved in with him. I was shut out from the rest of the world.” And fuck had I been isolated. “And the only time he ever did show me any kind of attention was when he wanted to talk business, wanted to show me how things were run. In that moment I was that young child who just missed his parents and hated his life.”
The clank of my fork against my plate when I picked it up seemed overly loud. “My father had always told me to be strong, so I endured being alone, having nannies and being homeschooled, knowing that the life I once had was no more.” I heard Vincenzo’s voice in the distance and couldn’t help but smile. “And then there was Vincenzo, the son of my uncle’s head of landscaping. We’d come from two opposite ends of the spectrum, but we became best friends. And it was during the summers when he’d spend most of his time at my uncle’s estate with his father, that I realized I wasn’t so alone.”
I glanced up and saw she watched me, a sad expression on her face, her food untouched. I cleared my throat again and shifted on the seat.
“Enough talk about that. It was so long ago, and life has changed since then. Please, eat and enjoy your meal.” She picked up her fork and started eating, not saying anything. But I could feel this heaviness surrounding her. And then I felt her gaze on me, knew that she had questions.
“But you became an educator instead? You didn’t end up following in his footsteps after all that?”
I took a bite of the entrée, chewed and swallowed, and then washed it down with a sip of wine. I shook my head. “My uncle passed away a decade ago. And although things had been secured, his business relations, his wealth, all of that already in place so it could sustain itself, I knew running things wasn’t what I wanted in life.” I watched as she took a bite of her meal, the way her lips wrapped around the fork an erotic sight that was turning me on.
God, anything having to do with Grace aroused me.
“I refused to accept that was my future.” I smiled, a genuine one that wasn’t filled with the burden of having the past weighing on me. Although my uncle’s business had been placed in my name, although technically I owned the wealth, that’s not what I focused on. “And so, I decided to do what I loved, to follow in my father’s footsteps. I went to school to become a teacher, to become the man you see now.”