You Were Never Honest (Never 2)

“He doesn’t listen to anyone, besides he’ll be a miserable arse if I stick around.” I say it with a self-deprecating laugh, but I’m not wrong. I won’t make the day enjoyable for either of them, my presence will only make it worse.

“That’s just his normal attitude, believe me it isn’t only aimed towards you my dear.”

“Do you guys mind, I’m sitting right here and I can hear you both perfectly fine. Oh sure stay, the more the merrier apparently,” he grumbles out and I don’t know why I’m getting back in the pool.

I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment, oh well at least I have this evening to myself.

“Why are you even helping me, tolerating me even?” He asks as we leave the fitness centre.

“I have no idea, I guess I must enjoy the punishment,” I mumble out but his face scrunches up so he clearly hears me.

“I’ll see you guys later, I’ll be in the library at the usual time if you haven’t had your fill of me for one day,” I say before waving at Benjy and hightailing it out of there, sod it I’m ringing Eli.

“Hey baby, how’s it going?” he asks and I can hear the smile in his voice.

“Not too bad, I may be missing you just a bit,” I say.

“Just a little, well that isn’t right guess I’ll have to try harder won’t I,” he says and I have no idea what to make of that comment.

We talk for the next half an hour and it’s fantastic. I wish I could stay on the phone to him all day but I need food and then I’ve got a date with the library. With the library not him, I am definitely not interested in Harrison.

Lunch is quiet, they’re not in here and it’s nice to just sit by myself and eat my tacos. I haven’t had any more emails from PastFinder but the countdown is still ticking along. Well, I may have had more emails but I’ve logged out for the time being so I’m living in denial for a little while. Come January, I’ll have to tell them and I’ll have to finish with Amias. That is making me feel so depressed, I want to be with him even though I know it can’t be that way. He still won’t tell me what happened when he came back black and blue, he’s ignoring my texts and he won’t admit that he’s keeping a secret. I don’t want to destroy and hurt him anymore, I just want to let him go.

The only reason I’m waiting until January is because I’m not strong enough to say goodbye to him just yet. I’m weak but I’ll get stronger just give me time.

I need to shake the melancholy free, I’ve got some time to kill before I need to get to the library. I think I’m just going to walk around, it’s so strange having only two students here.

I’m walking the grounds when I see it. Down with the King. Harrison is no more. Better run he might fall out of his chair. Should have stayed in your coma. Better not get a puncture. Careful he might try and run us over. Harrison has finally been defeated... by stairs.

Nasty fuckers, what if he sees this? It’s cruel I can’t leave this here, funnily enough it’s the same place where the Shepherds jumped me. Clearly this is their handiwork, definitely not PastFinder. They're not smart enough for it. I’m not going to assume it’s only them but they had to have instigated it, is there no such thing as loyalty in this place?

By the time I make it to the library Harrison is in a foul mood. It took longer than I anticipated painting over everything that had been written, it’s not like I planned on arriving ten minutes late. Sorry for trying to do something nice and keep him from seeing what the nasty twerps here have been writing about him. They’ve gone from fearing him to mocking him and all because he took a bad hit and has ended up in a wheelchair. They’re nothing more than vultures pecking at his vulnerability, I guess they’ll be in for a wake up call when he comes back kicking. It’s Harrison, there’s no way he won’t make it through this.

“Nice of you to show up,” he spits out and Benjy just shakes his head as he moves to leave the room.

“Benjy stay, you may as well take him out or stay either way, I’m done for today. I didn’t have to offer to tutor you while everyone else is off having fun and I didn’t have to go around and do some redecorating,” my voice is growing louder and a little harsh.

I’m covered in paint and it wasn’t easy making sure all the graffiti was covered, especially when some of it was a lot taller than me. I’m tired, frustrated and fed up of not getting an ounce of appreciation. I’m not doing it for that, but it doesn’t hurt to be shown it once in a while.

“What were you painting Henleigh?” Benjy asks and I tell him quietly enough so Harrison will not over hear me. I’m still looking out for his feelings, I am such a sap.

“Will you please give us a moment my dear but stay close. Harrison will need to speak to you in a moment.”

Okay, I’m not going to refuse him although I’d rather go to my room and read and listen to music. It’s got to be more fun than being in a room with Harrison.

Five minutes later and Benjy is calling me back in, oh the joys.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” he says with a soft smile my way and a hard look for Harrison, I really like Benjy.

“I’m sorry Henleigh, thank you for getting rid of whatever those arseholes had written. You didn’t need to, but thanks anyway,” he says, this looks so painful for him. Good.

“I didn’t do it for your thanks, but a little common courtesy wouldn’t go amiss,” was he raised in a barn or something, why haven’t his parents instilled this crap in him already?

“Are you still up for studying, between physio and Benjy this is the only break I get from feeling like a complete invalid,” I think he’s using anger to mask his pain and fear, but I won’t stand for him talking about himself in that way.

“Hey that isn’t nice, and you’re going to get through this. You’ve just got to rebuild your strength, you’ll be back issuing threats and scaring every Tom, Dick and Harry in no time,” I say with an easy smile, I wonder if he can tell how forced it actually is.

“Not everything can be fixed though,” he says, and he looks so desolate, I wonder if there is anything I can do.