You Were Never Honest (Never 2)

“That’s great, you’ve made a good choice,” I say, but my words sound hollow even to my ears.

“You alright?” he asks, looking up at me from his seat.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little distracted I guess. I offered to fill in so I will be performing in the show this evening, I’ll be practicing up until then too.”

“If you want to practise, I don’t mind studying while you play. Can’t guarantee we won’t get kicked out though,” he says and I want to tell him I know, I really do. But something is holding me back, and I need to figure out what that is first.

“Sure, just make sure you let Benjy know so he doesn’t start to panic,” I reply as I pack my things up and we get ready to leave the room.

“He’s leaving when we break up for Christmas, I haven’t had any other issues occur and he should be closer to his family. He may even let you practise in his lodge, it’s on school grounds so they can’t say anything.”

“Sure, why not,” I reply and Benjy agrees and we’re soon sitting in his little lodge, with Harrison studying and me plucking away at the strings on the guitar.

An hour soon passes and when I look up, I can see Benjy and H staring at me.

“What’s going on?” I ask, I instantly feel shy and awkward.

“I told you she hadn’t realised she was doing it,” H says smirking and I’m just sitting here staring at them blankly.

“You were singing my dear and if you ask me, you sing beautifully,” Benjy says and my cheeks are pretty much on fire right now.

“Okay, well I’m going to go now and both of you will pretend this never happened. Bye,” I say and I’m practically running out of the door.

“Henleigh wait.”

“Don’t be an arse H,” I say, if he’s a twat right now then I probably will end up confronting him.

“You did sounds good, and if it scares you then it must be important right?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Thanks H, I’ll see you later,” I say and I’m off.

“I can’t do this, I think I’m going to puke,” I say as I clutch my stomach. Why did I peek through the curtain?

“You’re going to do great, don’t worry,” Noah says, but he’s not calming me this time.

“Nope sorry Noah Bear, not working. I can’t do it, I can’t there’s too many people,” I say as I start to pace, my nerves are running rampant and I can’t calm down.

“Noah, you’ve gotta calm her down. She’s making Roxie panic, and she’s scary when she’s panicking,” Declan says and I think there’s genuine fear in his voice.

“Lija get Amias, he’s better with stage fright than I am.”

Eli is off like a rocket and he’s back just as quick with Amias hot on his heels.

“Right everyone who is not on the band fuck off for a minute, this isn’t helping,” he says before he seizes my hand and drags me into a side room.

“You’re okay, you are Henleigh and no one gets the better of you. You’re fierce and will do anything for anyone, whether they deserve it or not. You would not have offered to go up there if you sucked, plus we’ve all heard you practicing with the girls, you’re a natural.”

He’s staring down at me, almost daring me to look away but I can’t. I don’t know what it is about the connection

between us, but I always feel naked when he looks at me in this way. Like he can actually see me, all of me.

“I know, but there’s too many people. It’s one thing fighting with an audience but it’s another to stand up there and have nowhere to look but at them. I’m not strong enough Amias, I’m terrified.” I’m trying to sound strong, but my voice is trembling, I hate this I really do.

“Okay, then I’ll just have to take your mind off it,” he says as he stalks closer and I back up until my back slams into a wall.

He traps me between his arms and holds me in place with his body as his mouth descends onto mine and I forget everything. I forget about the crowd, about performing. About all the lies and how much my trust has been shaken all I can think about is the way he tastes. The way he feels pressed up against me and how much I love him. Damn I do, I love him, I love all three of them.

He pulls away and gives me a heated stare that has me wishing for a change of underwear.