You Were Never Honest (Never 2)

I start to settle down and for some reason she’s leading me out of my room and into hers, it does help. I think it’s because he hasn’t been in here, so it feels safer somehow.

“Are you going to tell me what happened? I don’t just mean tonight, what happened to your wrist or are the two connected?”

I nod and she sighs dramatically before making us both a hot chocolate and putting an episode of Friends on.

“Come on baby girl, you can trust me. You know that right, I won’t repeat it I swear.” She’s grabbing my hands and shaking me gently and I want to tell her but I’m scared. Not for me, but for her.

“Even if keeping it to yourself is dangerous for me?” I ask quietly and she hesitates for a long time before agreeing.

I shouldn’t put her in this position, but it’s haunting me and I need to tell someone. I trust her more than anyone and I really need that at the moment.

I tell her about the first time I met Mr. Terrifying and every other time since then. I tell her about the game he made us play, and it’s like opening Pandora’s box, once I start, I can’t stop. By the end of it she knows about Harrison being PastFinder and Ivy’s part in it all. I admit that I’m in love with all three of my guys and I’d forgive Amias if he would only be honest. And then I face a truth I always knew but couldn’t bring myself to admit, may as well tell her that too.

“There’s a slight chance that I have a crush on Harrison, I was attracted to him the first moment I saw him. I put it out of my mind and ignored it when I realised how much of an arsehole he is but I’m starting to see the side he keeps hidden. But now I know he’s PastFinder, I just want it to go away, I don’t want to like him.”

“Damn girl, the Harrison thing can wait for a minute. Who is this psycho and do you think he’s working for Harrison? Becaus

e if he is, then I forbid you from going anywhere near him. I’ll chain you to the damn sink if I have to. Secondly, I knew Ivy was a conniving bitch, just putting that out there.”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to think he’s a part of it but I can’t help but wonder if he is. Should I confront him or avoid him at all costs? As for Ivy, I really liked the girl. I always wondered if I could trust her. I just wish it had worked out in my favour instead of this. What do I do Roxie? I don’t want to stay here over Christmas and my Dad has to go away for work, I have nowhere else to go,” I say as my shaking starts back up tenfold.

“Don’t be so dense, you’re coming with me baby girl. We’ll have a kick ass Christmas and we’ll figure it all out. Don’t worry sweets I’ll keep you safe,” she says in reply.

“So, what do I do about the other Harrison thing?” I ask, having a girl to talk to about this that I can trust is a relief.

“First, we need to find out if he is responsible for your broken wrist and unleashing that psycho upon you. If he is, then you’ll have to work through it and hope you come to your senses but if he isn’t. I guess you’ll need to decide if you would want anything to come from it. How your other boyfriends will feel and if you can deal with the fact that not only is he PastFinder and threatening to reveal your secret, but he’s also her brother. He may not return your feelings and can you imagine how bad it could be if he does, it’s not like you can go home to meet the parents,” she says before wrapping me in another hug and we settle down and watch episode after episode until we inevitably fall asleep.

Eleven

Most of our classes are filled with films and they don’t even mind if we have our phones out, it’s the last day and teachers have already signed out in their minds at least. I’m seeing Harrison in the Library in a couple of hours and I’ve decided I’m going to confront him. I need to know who Mr. Terrifying is, and he’s my only way of finding out.

I’m here early, but he’s still here first. I’ve never known him to be here before me apart from when I overheard him and Ivy. I wonder what mood he will be in today.

“Alright H, how’s it going?” I ask, dumping my bag on the table and pulling a chair out.

“Just grand, how’s the world in your little universe?”

Okay, so he’s going to be a dick, fine by me.

“Let’s just get on with it shall we, then we won’t have to see each other anymore.”

“You’re not going to be tutoring me after the holidays?” he asks, and I feel confused, doesn’t he want this to end?

“If you still need me I will, but I think you’re doing fine now. Lets get on with the English assignment and we can figure everything else out later” I say, as I take my seat.

“What happened to you?” he asks, pointing at my wrist, is he being serious right now?

“I had a little accident, let’s just get on with the work,” I reply, as I take my seat and we get started.

“I need a break, I’m never going to get this,” he says, and to be honest I don’t blame him if he needs a minute who am I to stop him.

“Whatever you need,” I say, but I’m already checking out in my mind, I need to get this over with, but I don’t know how he will react.

“I don’t need your permission,” he screams, spittle flying from his mouth as he throws a book across the floor and his body locks up. His eyes roll back until all I can see are the whites of his eyes and air whooshes out of him as he hits the floor hard, like a sack of potatoes.

What is going on?”

Fuck me sideways, he’s having a seizure what am I supposed to do? I need to get Benjy, but I can’t leave him alone. I can’t think straight and I don’t know what to do. My chest is tightening as I watch him in horror, and images of him dying in front of me are filling my mind until, suddenly, everything is clicking into place. I need to get a hold of Benjy one way or another. I dial his number while I crouch down beside Harrison and do my best to get him into the recovery position. I’m struggling to do it with only one hand, I have to prop my phone between my ear and shoulder so I can use my one good hand. Why does it have to be broken right now? I know you’re supposed to ensure they don’t swallow their tongue, but I don’t know what I’m doing or how to keep him safe!