You Were Never Honest (Never 2)

“Move out the way Henleigh, I’ve got it,” Benjy says, appearing out of nowhere, but I refuse to leave.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I say and all we can do is make sure he’s safe and wait for it to pass.

It feels like hours but it only lasts for six ish minutes, he’s taking a while to come to. I’m the first person he’s seeing as he refocuses and he looks like he is an equal measure of embarrassed, shocked and angered.

“Hey, if you wanted to get out of English, there are plenty of other ways to do that,” I say, Benjy nearly chokes at my comment, but Harrison’s eyes soften just a smidge.

“I thought this would get me the most sympathy,” he replies, and I quickly get him a bottle of water out of my bag.

“Oh no, you need to be a lot more convincing next time.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he says as he slowly gets up and we help him back into his chair.

“What happened?” Benjy asks.

“I was struggling with the assignment and I got stressed, I said I was taking a break and Henleigh said it was okay and I... I lost it. I didn’t mean too,” he says, hanging his head and I can tell Benjy wants to reassure him but what can he say? He wasn’t even here when it happened.

“Hey, the H I know is the kind of guy who will pitch a fit just because the new girl sat in his chair, the kind who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Don’t let this change that, change you. I mean sure, if you want to be a tad nicer I’ll be your biggest supporter, but what just happened doesn’t change a damn thing,” I say, as I wrap my arms around him.

Damn it, I’m too nice for my own good.

“I have epilepsy, it’s because of the injury I sustained. My moods are more volatile as well,” he says, as his arms come around my waist and I’m trying my hardest not to enjoy being held by him.

“I’m not easy to be around for a week every month myself, don’t worry about it. I’m used to you being a mardy arse,” I say, and he laughs as he pulls away from me.

“Benjy, can we have a minute please,” he asks, and Benjy hesitates until I assure him I will call the minute anything happens.

“I need to tell you something,” his eyes are boring into me as runs a hand through his hair before taking one of my hands. He’s breathing deeply and his foot is tapping frantically, “I’m PastFinder. I’m the one who has been causing most of the shit you have endured and I gave the Shepherds all the ammo they could possibly need to sink and hurt you.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I ask, feeling speechless.

“Because I hated and condemned you before I even tried to know you, how can I think you’re this selfish, vindictive, self-centred bitch after everything you’ve done. I’m sorry that I did it without knowing you, but the girl you hurt is my sister and I just wanted to get revenge for her.”

“I know H, I’ve known for a few days now. And I get why you did it, but I don’t think we can be friends. Enemies for life right,” I say, and he nods his head slowly.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” His voice has risen an octave, and he looks like he’s just been told that the jolly fat man at Christmas is not real.

“I was trying to work out if I should, but while we’re on it, there is something I need to ask you,” I say and he nods his head, which I’m assuming is his way of telling me to continue.

“Did you put your friend up to this?” I can’t look at him as I say it, it’s painful to even ask. I have really enjoyed these sessions of ours and if he is responsible, then I’ll never be here with him again. My heart is beating hard and fast in my chest. I no doubt look like I want to be anywhere else but here. “I know you got him to beat me up, but why would you do this? I wasn’t nice to you for some kind of hidden agenda but do you really hate me that much you’d get him to break my wrist and make a game of it at the same time?”

“What are you talking about? I’ve never got someone to beat you up! Is this what you were talking about that day on the track? I’ve always wondered what you were going on about,” he replies, and I believe him.

“He only ever mentions your name, he feeds it to me as if you’re the master controlling his strings.”

We both just sit here and let my words swim around our heads, what is going on? I guess that means I’m no closer to figuring this mess out.

Spending the holidays with Roxie and her family is fun, they’re all sarcastic and swimming with an inappropriate and morbid sense of humour, I love them. The only problem is, my enjoyable holiday is about to come crashing down.

“Roxie, she messaged back, she wants to meet me,” I say, handing over my phone so she can see it for herself.

“Wow, I was not expecting that. Do you want me to come with you, I’m sure my brother won’t mind driving us there and back. He’s dying to get out of the house anyway, he’s very bah humbug,” she says and I take her up on her offer.

It does not take a lot of convincing to get her brother to agree and we are soon piling into his Ford Focus and we are on our way, either her family has left where we now call home or she moved away. Was it because of me?

It's only taken us forty minutes to get here and Roxie and her brother are more than happy for me to go in and leave them waiting in the car, what are they trying to escape from. I love their family home.

I feel so nervous and sick to my stomach, there’s only two days until Christmas, what if me being here only ruins it for her. Haven’t I taken enough from her already. I knock on the door and wait, maybe I should just go. Nope, the door is opening, oh shit.