“Are you ready to go sexy lady?” Eli asks and I better get him out of here quick because Harrison is getting that territorial look on his face.
“See you soon,” I say, while awkwardly blowing a kiss at the pair.
“Don’t forget what we said,” he growls and I gulp hard as I nod my head and drag Eli out of the house.
“You know I never pictured you and Harrison, I think that’s why it was so hard for me but I get it now. I think,” he says as we get in his car and Sawyer climbs into the back and slips his headphones on.
“I don’t think we pictured it either, but the heart wants what it wants,” I say quietly as I click my seatbelt in place and play with the frills on my skirt.
“Okay, so here’s the deal. We’re going to go and play pool, we won’t mention the past or the guys, unless they come up naturally and we’re going to have fun. So, are you ready?” He asks with a megawatt smile and how could I refuse?
It doesn’t take us long to drive there but it’s long enough for me to get trapped in my own mind, thinking about everything and worrying that someone may brush up against me. Will I freak out and what will Elijah do if that happens? Maybe we should have just stayed at my house and kept things on a more neutral footing. Then again, it wouldn’t be fair to him.
“Get out of your head Hen, I can’t see anything good coming from it right now,” he says and as usual he’s right on the money with his assumption.
“Before we leave the car and leave the past where it belongs, can I ask you one thing?” I can’t help but sound hesitant as I ask this, I’m downright nervous as fuck.
“Go for it,” he replies with a kind smile and I’m intrigued to see how his face will change as I pose my question to him.
I stare up at the building that we’ll be going into, watching as the flashing sign flickers and stutters before finding its brightness once more and throwing its soft glow upon the car and part of its interior.
“Why did you help Amias and are you still telling him shit about me?” Did I sound bitter then or just suspicious, maybe it was a mixture of the two, I have no idea.
“I was worried about you, scared for you and Amias seemed like the best bet to keep you safe so when he approached me I didn’t even think twice about it,” he doesn’t sound sorry at all and it isn’t sitting right with me. “What I did was wrong. I know that, but I don’t regret it. I like to think it helped to keep you safe. As for the second part I’m still talking to Amias but I refuse to talk about you,” he grabs my hands and I have to fight myself to not pull away from him. “I want you to trust me and I won’t jeopardise that again.”
His words feel heartfelt and I think I need to give him the benefit of the doubt. If I don’t, then what’s the point in even being here with him tonight? I give him a smile as I slowly pull my hands away and climb out of the car.
Sawyer doesn’t waste any time to join me and I know I need to tell him and the guys how much I appreciate having him around. I feel safer now and although I want to be able to protect myself, I’m just not there yet.
Elijah places his hand on my elbow and I grit my teeth and breathe through the tightening in my stomach and the stiffness taking over my neck. It’s Elijah for fuck’ sake, he isn’t going to hurt me.
“I’m sorry, I keep telling myself not to touch you but I still do it. I’m sorry Henleigh,” he pulls back and I hate the relief that washes over me. I don’t want to be like this anymore, it’s breaking me down into nothing and I can’t bear it.
“It’s okay, I’m doing better than I thought I would, guess there’s a bright side to everything,” I reply but my words are lacking conviction.
His smile is sad but we’re still going inside, I am determined to enjoy tonight and I won’t go home until I have thoroughly thrashed his arse at pool.
“YOU’RE A HUSTLER,” he says with mock anger and I can’t help but give him my most innocent smile.
“You never asked if I’d played before,” I reply as I bat my lashes at him.
I’ve had a couple of beers and I’m not even close to being tipsy but it has helped to relax me just a little. After my eighteenth birthday I haven’t let myself get drunk and I don’t need to, not so I can have a good time, but there’s a reason they call it Dutch courage.
“Good thing I never put a bet on it, you’d probably have the shirt off my back,” he says laughing and my own smile is as genuine as they come.
“No, I would have let you keep your shirt,” I say with a wink as I put the pool cue back on its stand and take a seat.
“Have you spoken to any of the girls since you moved here?” He asks before taking a swig of his beer.
“They were down a little while back and I’m thinking about going away with them for a little while. Noah thinks it will do me some good,” I’m tracing my finger around the rim of my glass, staring at the bubbles that work their way through the beer. “I’ve seen Ivy the most though, it’s not awkward between us anymore. Probably because she tried to save my life, how could I stay mad at her after that?” I say it with a laugh, but I don’t know why.
“What about the others, are they any different with you?” I’m not sure why he’s asking this but I’m sure it’s leading up to something.
“Roxie is her usual self, she was a little off but I guess that’s to be expected. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her. I mean I adore them all, but I’m not sure I can trust them or at least, there’s one who may not be on the level,” bitterness seeps out like a thick plume of smoke, threatening to choke me under its blanket of toxicity.
I can’t talk about Bella not right now. I don’t want to think badly of her, she’s the reason I even have the girls in my life but ever since I saw that text on Bella’s phone, things have felt different. I only figured it out that it was hers when I saw her pick it up the next morning, I guess I could still be mistaken but I doubt it. I keep thinking back on my time at Padstow, how she inserted herself into my life and the way she acted as though we’d been friends our whole lives. How she would show up when I got blindsided by one of the vicious girls who tried to rule the school. Maybe her sweet act is exactly that, an act. Why else would someone send her a text like that, it’s another reason why I’m going to go. I’ll have Sawyer with me so I’ll be safe and maybe she’ll trip herself out and reveal her duplicity for the whole damn world to see.
“I’m guessing you don’t want to talk about that so I’ll leave it for now,” he says staring at me, letting me know that I will be questioned about it at some point.