You'll Never Lose Me (Never 4)

“Yeah it’s been fun and interesting to say the least. It was a little touch and go when we first arrived but things started to improve as the day wore on,” I reply, glancing at Ivy and seeing how fidgety she’s becoming.

“I’m glad, um…” shit that doesn’t sound good, especially with how he’s hesitating right now. “Someone has reached out to me and asked if I could give you their number. You don’t have to contact them, Hell you don’t even have to take it but I thought I should mention it in the interest of complete honesty,” he sounds sheepish but I get where he’s coming from this person has clearly put him in an awkward position. It better not be Amias. Yet my traitorous heart is hoping it is.

“Okay... go for it I guess, like you said I don’t have to message them if I don’t want to. Who is it?” Curiosity meet cat, your soon to be victim. So morbid.

“It’s Leah.”

Fuck, I don’t think he could have dropped that name quicker if he tried, he wanted it out there in the open as soon as possible and I don’t even know how to handle it.

“Oh how interesting, and what does that two faced, judgemental little bitch want?” My tone is sweeter than candy floss and Ivy is sitting on the bed, utterly slack jawed.

“Wow, look I’m just the messenger okay. I don’t know why she wants to talk to you but it seemed important enough that she’s reached out even after all the crap she pulled. Just think about it, please Hen. For me,” damn, why does his voice affect me so much and he knows I’d do just about anything for him.

“Fine, but you only get to use that ‘for me’ thing three times a year, use them wisely my friend,” I think I’m going to go into the living room and leave Ivy to it.

“Babe, we both know we’re a lot more than friends. Unless all your friends can make you moan and scream the way I do,” I can hear how his voice becomes more husky and my stomach pools with warmth and the memory of what we did.

“Only my favourite and very special friends,” it’s really hard to contain my laughter right now. I can hear the inhale he takes as if he was sitting right beside me, at least he’s not the jealous type. Oh no Eli is all about the fun.

“Just you wait until I see you missy, I’ll make you pay for that,” can he get anymore husky, he’s making me squirm in my seat.

“Promises, promises,” I reply in my huskiest voice and I wish he was here with me right now.

IT’S BEEN fun spending time with the girls, but it feels awkward without Ivy which is weird. Because it is beyond tension overload when she is with us, but she’s the one that makes me feel myself. I don’t really know how to be around these girls anymore, it isn’t anything they’ve done, I just think I’ve changed.

Bella is a breath of fresh air but I don’t trust her so that’s hard, Mikaela is her usual quiet self and Roxie. Well Roxie is still upset by me not staying with them, which I get I just wish she wasn’t so hurt by it.

“Do you think you’ll want to play with us Saturday, baby girl?” I love that she doesn’t beat around the bush about anything.

“Yeah, I think I will, but I can’t guarantee I’ll be playing at the same level I did back in Padstow,” I reply rather glumly.

“Hey that doesn’t matter, I’m just excited that you’ll get up on that stage with us,” Bella says, clapping her hands.

“Look, tell me to mind my own business but I just have to ask, what happened between you and Ivy? I know you were never friends, but something must have gone down to have such animosity between you,” Bella and Mikaela both look at Roxie and she shakes her head before clearing her throat and looking me right in the eyes.

“Ivy came to Padstow half way through the first year and I was set to show her around, I tried to be nice but she didn’t bother showing me the same courtesy. Nevertheless I kept trying until I found her sticking her tongue down my boyfriend’s throat. Safe to say we haven’t got on since, I finished with him and she was done to. Guess she only wanted what she couldn’t have,” the bitterness is genuine, but I’m not sure I can believe it. Not without speaking to Ivy first, not that I’m going to say this to her.

“I mean there was…” Bella stops talking when Roxie glares at her and I can’t tell if she’s trying to stir shit or if Roxie is making it out to be all on Ivy when that isn’t the case.

“Nothing else matters, she asked why we don’t get on and there it is,” she’s growling the words at her before standing up and storming off into the kitchen.

None of us say anything as we sit here, awkwardly staring at one another and I doubt I’m the only one hoping this day will hurry up and just end already.

“Sorry about that, there’s a lot of history,” Bella says quietly as she shifts on the spot and starts wringing her hands.

“Bella, don’t. It isn’t needed,” Mikaela adds as she picks up her book and refuses to look anywhere else.

This is ridiculous, am I supposed to pretend that nothing happened and that Roxie’s explanation makes any sense. Because I can’t, all I can say is that I’m sick of being lied to and I’m tired of being left in the dark. It’s like my life has become an eternal eclipse and I’m yet again left without a flashlight to guide my way.

Five minutes have passed and Roxie has finally decided to return, wrapping her arms around the girls and acting like she didn’t just blow her roof over nothing.

“Are you okay?” I ask, worried and concerned. I’m just not entirely sure who I am concerned for right now.

“Yeah, look I’m sorry you had to hear that. I guess I still have a lot of unresolved feelings to work through and I shouldn’t have taken it out on Bella and you ladies. Sorry baby girl, I hope I haven’t caused you to change your mind about performing with us,” she says softly as she moves a little closer and looks at me through her lashes.

“Of course not, I understand hun,” I reply even though it’s a complete lie, I just want this moment to go away and I am counting the seconds until I can excuse myself and go back to mine and Ivy’s place.

Because clearly Devy wasn’t going to let me stay in a hotel room, oh no he’s renting a little flat for the one week we’re staying here. Talk about going over the top. Maybe I am a little too sarcastic for my own good.