You'll Never Lose Me (Never 4)

“Henleigh where are you?” He’s completely ignoring my question but other than sounding worried he seems okay.

“I’m in Roxie’s car, we’re fine,” I say with a slight hysterical laugh then look at Roxie and we share a smile.

“Get out of there,” he screams it down the phone and I have to pull it away from my head, it’s almost deafening.

“What are you talking about? I’m safe Noah. I’m okay,” I’m trying to ease his fear but I don’t understand it.

“Henleigh it wasn’t Bella, it was never her. It’s been Roxie all along, get away from her. NOW!”

Everything is moving in slow motion as I look at her and she returns my stare but hers is filled with pity and something a little darker.

“I’m sorry it had to end this way,” she says with a small shake of her head before her hand snakes up to the back of mine and the last thing I see is the dashboard as she sends my face crashing into it.

10TH OCTOBER 2009

I have a really bad feeling about today, I even wrote a letter to pipsqueak, mum and dad just in case I don’t come back. It’s not like I’m expecting to die or anything but I know what we’re doing now and I’d be an idiot to not account for it. I’ve already told Devon if I don’t make it then any money I earn has to be put into an account for Hen and she can have it when she turns twenty one, I was going to say eighteen but I don’t trust mother dearest not to take that as well. Hopefully by the time she’s in her twenties she’ll be far away from them and living her own life, happy and at peace.

Devon has told me to stop being depressing and that I’m tempting fate but he hasn’t got a little sister relying on him and I can’t risk her. He wasn’t happy when I said that to him but he relented and agreed to my request. I know I shouldn’t have, but I also asked him to keep this part of my life hidden from her. I want her to remember me as the brother she knew, not this guy that I felt I had to become. Damon has told me that his parents know there’s a threat to them and he’s worried I’m a part of that threat, but I haven’t told him what we’re doing.

Today we’ll be going after Mr. Shaw himself, Devon will be doing the dirty work and we just need to stand there with our guns at the ready. He’s made it clear we won’t be killing anyone, we’ll just be delivering him to Richard once Devon has prepared him for it.

Mikel is bringing some weed with him and I usually say no, but I think I may take him up on it just this once. I need something to curb my nerves and hopefully I’ll be able to act calm and collected whilst holding a gun at the head of the father to the guy I fucking love. Our lives are so messed up, I don’t want Henleigh to have any part in it. She deserves a better life than she has now or will even get. She deserves better than I can give her. I just hope that if I don’t make it back, she’ll know that through everything, she was always the sun in my tumultuous, storm ridden life. Please if anyone is out there right now, let me come back and help her sunlight continue to grow and if not, please don’t diminish it.

WHAT IS it with these people and putting me on cold, hard grounds? Not that my comfort level is a high priority but I’d much rather focus on that than the hand pressing between my shoulder blades or the cold steel gliding across my skin. The rope around my wrists is chaffing my skin but I guess I should be more worried about the blade at this point. The knife isn’t cutting me… yet, but clearly it’s only a matter of time. I don’t know what she’s waiting for and I’m not sure I want her to stretch this out.

“I really liked you Henleigh, if only you hadn’t been a Monterey. Out of friendship I’ll offer you a quick death, all you have to do is take responsibility for your family’s crimes,” so much warmth and sweetness within her voice, like the homemade fudge before it cools. My so-called friend, the one I never thought I’d have to watch. Oh, how she deceived us all, if I somehow beat the odds and make it through this. How can I ever trust again?

“Why are you doing this? Was your whole persona nothing but fiction, I never thought you would be the villain in this tale,” I say against concrete, working my wrists into a bloody mess trying to slip the rope that’s binding them together.

“This isn’t some silly little book, its real life and people have to be held accountable for their actions. Your brother is dead, the lucky git, so you must stand in his place,” she places the knife on the floor by my face before brushing her free hand over my hair, removing it from my face. I feel sick. “Everything you thought you knew about me is correct, but didn’t anyone ever tell you that there are two sides to the same coin. It all

depends on the luck of a flip which version you will see when the spinning ends. Looks like your luck ran out,” she still has the sugar sweet voice but her eyes are as wild as an unrelenting storm. Maybe she really will be the end of me and no one will ever know.

“Who the fuck are you, you demented bint,” I know I shouldn’t be shouting at the person who literally holds my life in the palm of her hand, but I can’t seem to control myself right now. Hmmm I wonder why that is?!

“You know who I am, unless you mean in the grand scheme of things. Hmmm, you know for the sake of our friendship I’ll tell you but it’s a long old story so let me make you comfortable first,” she drops a kiss upon my cheek before dragging me back by my restraints.

I can’t help but yell out as she pulls me to my feet and drags me backwards through an open door. I can’t keep up and my feet keep slipping, it doesn’t even matter if I kick out. Nothing is stopping her.

“You can sit here,” she says as she stops me at a chair and pulls my arms over the back of it and hooking me in place to something.

“Henleigh…”

No. I should have seen this one coming.

“Ivy,” her name slips out on a sob and the sight of her causes fresh pain to well within me.

“No talking, this isn’t some kind of pow wow you know. We are on a time limit,” she clicks her tongue as she checks her watch, before grabbing another chair for herself.

I can’t keep my eyes off Ivy and she’s silently crying as her body is wracked with sobs.

“I did everything you asked, why won’t you let her go?” I doubt her answer will make me feel any better, but I have to ask, nonetheless.

“She isn’t dead now is she? I think I’ve been more than reasonable with this little bitch and besides, her buyer will be coming to collect soon. They usually prefer their purchases to be breathing, but it isn’t essential so I would watch what you say baby girl,” her eyes are hard as she drags a finger down my cheek and she’s smiling as I pull my head back as far from her as I can manage.

“Now then, where should I start? So, Dante is my cousin. He and the majority of his family on his mother’s side are psychotic or sociopathic. They lack the necessary skills to thrive in this world, unless they find themselves in a position that calls for their talents. Hence the dial-a-kill service they provide. They do a lot more than just killing people, but that is the most popular service that they offer,” she’s smiling but it’s not a happy smile, it screams fake and put on. I just don’t understand why she’s bothering.

“Anyway, our mums were sisters but mine wasn’t as bad as the rest of them. She is a psychopath but she still formed a relationship with my father and kept it hidden as long as she could. She wasn’t much for the killing but she wasn’t a law-abiding citizen either. She is a true artist when it comes to manipulation, she would be so proud of me,” her tone is taking on a slight airy quality, I guess mother and daughter don’t see each other that often?