“I’d like to think it meant the same thing. He loved that place. He begged our parents to go every summer. I’d get mad at him at first because I wanted to stay in San Diego and play with my friends all summer. But whenever we’d get there, we’d start running around and playing in the creek out back, and all would be forgotten. Just like that.”
“Just like that,” I said.
“I figured you might like it down here,” he said.
“I’d like anywhere we went, so long as I was with you.”
I panned my gaze up to him, and I could see the growing seriousness behind his eyes. He took my hands and led me to the bed, sitting me down before he sat down next to me. The talk was coming, I could feel it. He was ready to define our relationship, or at least talk about it.
I had to tell him.
I had to tell him everything before he made such a grave mistake.
“Can I be honest for a second?” he asked.
“You can always be honest with me,” I said.
The guilt just bubbled up my throat with every word that flew from my mouth.
“I really enjoy spending time with you,” he said.
“I enjoy spending time with you, too, Bryan.”
“But I’m worried that there’s a great deal unspoken between us.”
“Honestly? I feel the same way. I really think we should talk this through,” I said.
“Good. Because I always want to be upfront with you. Hailey, I’m not the most emotionally stable guy. I hang onto a lot from my past, especially regarding my brother’s death.”
“I understand. I can’t imagine the toll that must’ve taken on you.”
“I’m worried that my emotional instability will drive you away,” he said. “I’m worried that you’re still doing this with me because you think you’re somehow still repaying me for the gallery.”
Wait. He felt what?
“Bryan, you don’t ever have to worry about that,” I said. “This is so much more than you helping me out with the gallery. There’s a real connection between us. A genuine one. I feel it every single time we spend time together.”
“So, you don’t feel that you’re doing this because of our deal? Because if you did, I’d never be able to—”
I leaned forward, silencing him with my lips. I didn’t want to hear another word about it. I couldn’t believe we’d had all the encounters we’d had with this in the back of his mind. I wanted him to enjoy this time with me. I wanted him to lose himself in me the way I lost myself in him.
I wanted to enjoy every single second of our time together before he found out the truth about my life.
He kissed me back, his hand migrating to the back of my head. He sat up and pulled me closer to him as my body shifted into his lap. His long, strong arms held me to him as our lips danced in tandem, a tango breathing life into our bodies as I felt him come alive against my legs. His tongue was so soft, and his lips tasted so sweet, and soon all the hesitations and lies and deceits fell to the background. I knew I had to tell him. I knew I had to come clean. I knew I held the key to him finally being able to gain closure on what had happened to John.
To his brother.
To the one person who was in his life that he loved more than anyone else.
“I really like you, Bryan,” I said breathlessly.
“I really like you, too, Hailey,” he said, smiling.
“Remember this,” I said.
“What?”
“This moment. How you feel right now. Remember it.”