I watched tears quickly spring to Hailey’s eyes before they dripped down her cheek. She didn’t even get a chance to bring her hand up to wipe them away before they started barreling down her cheeks. The onset of emotion was so abrupt and so quick that it caught me off guard, but the moment she sniffled, I dropped to my knees. I took her laptop off her lap, wrapped my hands around hers, and then brought them to my lips to kiss.
“Hailey, please talk to me,” I said. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I should’ve done this earlier. I’m so tired, and I’m so stressed and overrun with so much.”
She was trying to stifle her sobs as they hiccupped her chest.
“Come here,” I said. “Come here, beautiful.”
I pulled her against me and stood her up. I walked her down the hallway and back into our bedroom before I laid us down in bed. I threaded my arms around her and pulled her close to me, leaning in so I could kiss away her tears. Her body was trembling as the tears continued to come in droves, and worry clenched my heart.
This was so much more than just stress.
“The baby is almost here, and I’m only now hiring someone. I’ll have to train them all the way until my due date, and I can hardly stand on my feet as it is.”
“Is that what’s had you so worried lately?” I asked. “Finding an assistant or someone to help you out?”
“Bryan,” she said, groaning.
“No, now look. You have the penchant for keeping things from me because you think you need to save me from something. And maybe that comes from you not being able to save John, but we’re partners, Hailey. I’m your husband. The father of your child. I’m the one who holds your hands, kisses your lips, and tells you I love you every single night we lie down together. Now, enough is enough.”
She pulled her hands away from me, but she didn’t make any effort to back away.
“It’s a lot of things, Bryan,” she said breathlessly. “So many things.”
“Then tell me about those things. That’s what I’m here for,” I said.
“Hiring this new person and training them. Being a new mother soon. My parents still don’t talk with me much, and things with your mother aren’t getting any better. Michael said he was going to stop by today so we could talk about Europe but canceled this morning, and I know your mother had something to do with that. I feel isolated from the family that’s supposed to be surrounding this child. I’m already failing this child, and it’s not even here yet.”
I didn’t actually expect her to open up to me like that. If there was one thing Hailey was, it was a fortress. But her hormones must be getting in the way so badly that it was crumbling even her own walls she threw up sometimes.
An
d for once, I was thankful for those hormones that had been turned on me so many times over the past few months.
“And as far as ‘saving you’ goes, you listen to me. You’ve been through enough in your life, and all I want you to be is happy no matter what it takes. You’ve lost so much and endured so much pain.”
She grimaced as she swallowed like she was choking down some disgusting flavor.
“Hailey, take a few deep breaths. Don’t make yourself sick. I’m right here, and everything’s going to be okay,” I said.
“So you want me to express myself, but you don’t want my emotions in the process?” she asked.
“That’s not what I said. Hailey, you have to calm down. You’re making yourself sick.”
“I want to be happy with you. To be happy together. That’s it. And all I’ve ever brought into your life has been bullshit. My past with your brother and my cancer and building my art gallery partially out of your pocket.”
I watched her heave again, and I knew she was going to make herself sick.
“Here. Sit up, sweetheart. Come on,” I said.
“And I can’t help but think that I’m more trouble than it’s ... it’s ...”
I reached for the small trash can we kept on her side of the bed. I put it in front of her mouth, and she heaved into it, spewing what I assumed was her breakfast. She sobbed and heaved. Sobbed and heaved. Her body was in an uncontrollable state, and the tears were still pouring down her face.
My heart shattered into a million pieces as she continued to vomit in the trash can.
I listened as she breathed heavily, my hands trying to hold her hair back. I blew on her sweating forehead as she groaned. Then I set the trash can off to the side. I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her pregnant stomach as she took deep breaths. Her tears were finally drying up, and her shaking body was finally settling.