“Personal feelings get in the way of things, Derek. I know that better than anyone. All personal feelings do is cloud judgment. Case in point, your inability to see that Jacob was doing this because of your personal feelings for him.”
“That’s idiotic, and you know it. Lovers will do more to protect each other than they will any other person in their lives.”
“Who the hell said anything about lovers?” she asked.
“I did, and I’m addressing it now. Sam, can you really tell me that if we had never encountered one another, if you had said ‘no’ instead of ‘yes’ in the bathroom back in Vegas, that you would have jumped in front of that bullet for me?” I asked.
“Yes. Yes, I would have jumped in front of that bullet. Because it’s my job.”
“Then I have one question for you.”
“What?” she asked hotly.
“Why didn’t you simply push me out of the way?”
Sam stilled in her chair as her eyes diverted from my gaze. It was the one question that had kept rattling around in my mind for days. Why hadn’t she pushed me out of the way? Why jump in front of it instead of taking us both out of its path? I leaned up and perched on the edge of the couch, watching her trying to come up with an answer as I reached for her hand. I took it in mine, pulling her from her thoughts as her eyes widened.
She looked down at our connection, but she didn’t break it. She didn’t move, but that meant she also didn’t pull her hand from mine.
“I heard you in the hospital,” I said.
“What are you talking about?” Sam asked.
“I heard you talking in your sleep that first night. I heard you moaning, and I thought you were hurt, but when I went to press the button for your morphine drip, it was still red. You kept saying my name over and over again. I heard you. I heard you that night.”
I watched her face pale, and she slipped her hand from mine. She stood from her chair, my body mimicking her movements as her eyes darted around the room. She was floundering, cornered and unable to get herself out of it. I didn’t like seeing her like this, unable to communicate and wanting to get out.
“I-I-I, uh, I did what?” she asked.
“Sam,” I said as I approached her, “just stop. Stop running. Stop fighting. I’m not asking you to give me your future. Or your life. I’m not asking you to stay home and raise kids and cook meals barefoot in the kitchen. All I’m asking for is your time.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said.
“Yes, you do,” I said as I threaded my arm around her waist. “You really, really do.”
“Don’t do this, Derek,” she said in a whisper. “It’ll compromise so much.”
“Then tell me ‘no.’ Look me in my eyes and say ‘no,’ and we’ll never speak of this again.”
But when she looked up into my eyes, there was no word that fell from her lips. There was no shake of her head or pulling away of her body. Instead, there was only passion and lust and desire igniting the air around us as our lips drew closer. My eyes closed, preparing for the touch of her skin against mine, and as our lips collided, I felt her body press deeply into mine.
There she was.
My beautiful, stubborn Sam.
And she was all mine whether she wanted to admit it or not.
Chapter 4
Sam
WHY HADN’T I PUSHED him out of the way?
It was the question that rolled around in my mind as his arms pulled me closer to him. The electricity that flooded my veins shot my adrenal glands into overdrive. I could feel my body relenting to him, even as the voice at the back of my head chanted denial, demanding I keep my focus because he still needed me.
“Let yourself have me,” Derek said into my lips. “Let me show you that I can protect you, too.”
My mind kept screaming “no,” but my heart kept thumping “yes.” The Morse code hammering against my chest ricocheted louder than the violent scream aching my skull. I felt my body giving way to him. The way his arms slid around my waist, careful to miss the wound throbbing on my arm. His hands rounded the globe of my ass, picking me up against him as my legs locked around him. My right arm traveled around his neck, holding on tightly to him as he walked me back into his own personal library.