Abby blushed bright red and ducked her head, staring down at her shoes. “Sorry, I know I shouldn’t be here,” she said. But that was all she said.
I raised an eyebrow at her. “So then what are you doing here?” I finally pressed.
“I just came to check you out. I mean, to check on you,” she stammered, blushing even more brightly.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at how flustered she was. Again, I wanted to tease her. It wasn’t like this was anything she hadn’t seen before. In fact, she had seen more than this before. But I could tell she was embarrassed enough at having been caught staring, and I found that I didn’t want to embarrass her to the point that she ran out of there, even though that probably would have been for the best.
But if she was there, in my house, then I had to assume that maybe, just maybe, things weren’t as black and white as she’d made them out to be. Maybe she and I could never go back to being 100 percent professional.
I found myself hoping that that was the case.
“So, are you okay?” Abby pressed on, talking through her embarrassment. But then, she shook her head. “Of course you’re not okay. You’ve never shown up late for work before, and you left work without saying goodbye. Fuck, sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
She ran a hand back through her blonde hair, only emphasizing the fact that it was loose today, hanging freely down her back. I couldn’t stop staring at her for a long moment. Then, I became aware of the fact that I wasn’t wearing a shirt.
I felt a faint blush stain my own cheeks, and I grabbed my shirt. But Abby was talking again before I could put it on, her eyes looking earnestly into mine. And I found that I didn’t want to look away from her gaze, even for the two seconds that it would take for me to pull my shirt over my head.
“I saw the article. The one about us. You know, about me breaking up with you.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “And I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”
I shrugged one shoulder. “You didn’t write it, did you?” I asked her. “You weren’t the one who went to the press with the story. I’m the one who should be sorry. I know that this isn’t what you signed up for. That if you had your way, you’d never end up in the tabloids like that.”
I shook my head. “Yeah, but still. I’m sorry.” She paused, again staring down at the ground. But by now, my bare chest and the shirt in my hands were the furthest things from my mind. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to endure having the whole city thinking that you’re something that you’re not.”
I stared at her for a bit, trying to figure out some way to respond. Trying to figure out if there really was any way to respond. Finally, I just sighed. “It’s part of the job,” I told her.
“I don’t think it needs to be,” Abby said, cocking her head to the side.
“I hate to say it, but you have no idea.” The words slipped out before I could think about how mean they might sound to her. I winced. “Sorry, I don’t mean that. It’s just that—”
“No, you’re right,” Abby interrupted, but she didn’t seem upset by what I had said. “You’re absolutely right, I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I guess it’s just wishful thinking, but I just feel like if more people got to know the real you, or if you just, I don’t know, maybe gave someone an exclusive interview where you answered all their questions once and for all, then maybe everyone would get bored with you. Or something. And you could live your life in peace.”
I shook my head. “Wouldn’t work,” I assured her. “Once they knew all those secrets, they’d want to know everything else. More and more and more. And eventually, they’d have wrung enough out of me that I just couldn’t even live anymore.” I barely even knew what I was saying anymore, but the words sure rang true.
“Is it really living, like this?” Abby challenged.
I frowned, staring at her. “Well, I like to think that it is,” I told her.
Abby grinned at me. But then she frowned, her expression sobering. “I don’t want to pressure you, but I came over to talk to you about work,” she said.
I grimaced. “I’m sorry I left you alone this afternoon. Did you end up going through with all the meetings?”
Abby shook her head. “I talked to Erin about it, and she was pretty sure that it would be better for us to just reschedule all of them for later in the week. I told her that she was probably right.” I could tell that there was an “except” to that statement, though.
Sure enough, Abby looked up at me, tilting her head to the side with a question in her eyes. “But I don’t know...are you going to be back to work later this week, even?” Then, she clapped a hand over her mouth. “That’s not what I meant. Or not really. I know you’re doing your best to keep working and everything.”
“Relax,” I said, shaking my head at how worked up she was. It was hard to believe that this was all my fault. But I could remember the focused, confident person that she had always been around the office. This wasn’t her.
Abby took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “What I meant,” she said, “was that I just wanted to make sure you weren’t planning on avoiding the office for as long as I’m there. Because if you are, then maybe I should resign. Let you fill the position with someone that you have less history with.” She cracked a small smile. “A dude next time, maybe. Although then I bet Gerrard would be even more jealous.”
I snorted. But then, I slowl
y shook my head, taking a step closer to her. And then another one, when she didn’t immediately run away. I made it all the way to stand in front of her, reaching out for her hands. “I don’t want anyone else to be my advisor. I definitely don’t want to have to weed through another round of applicants, I’m sorry to say.” I paused, taking a deep breath of my own. “But I like the work you do. And whatever is going on between us, I don’t want that to affect your job.”
Abby nodded at me. “I just don’t want you to feel like I’m driving you out of your own company or anything by being there. You’re still the most important guy.”
I snorted. “Yeah, I am,” I told her, and I grinned as she giggled. I shook the hands that I still held with both of mine. “Abby, you’re a great advisor. And if you’re not comfortable working with McGregor Enterprises any longer, especially in light of the recent attention you’ve gotten, then you need to tell me that. But as long as you’re still willing to work for me, I want you working there.”
“I don’t want to handle meetings on my own,” Abby breathed. She gave me an apologetic look. “I know you’re under a lot of stress, and I know that everyone deserves a sick day every so often. But at the same time, I want you to be the one making decisions about whether we need to reschedule meetings. I don’t want you to just leave it up to me. I may be your advisor, but at the end of the day, you’re still the boss.”