Counting the Days (Counting the Billions 1)

But I didn’t live here anymore, and I felt like it was only common courtesy that I announce my presence at the door rather than just walking inside. Plus, I thought as a smile crested on my face, I love when the kids answer the door.

I could hear the little footsteps inside now, one of Matt and Leanne’s two kids bounding down the hallway toward the front door. Zachary was beaming when he opened the door. “Auntie Abby!” he cried, throwing his arms around my legs. His younger sister, Layla, wasn’t far behind him.

“Hey, you little rascals!” I said to them, grinning right back at them. I didn’t want kids of my own, but being around these two definitely made my heart swell. They were both absolutely adorable and so well-behaved too. Oh, Zachary definitely had a streak of mischief in him, and Layla could be a little bratty when she was overtired. But overall, they were the best kids, and I loved spending time with them.

“I painted a picture!” Layla told me proudly, grabbing my hand and dragging me toward the living room. She showed off a blue and green painting that vaguely resembled a peacock, and I oohed and ahhed over it while Zachary ran off to get whatever he had been working on lately so he could display that as well.

Eventually, Leanne came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands off on her apron. She laughed when she saw me sitting on the floor with Layla on one side and Zach on the other side, various bits of schoolwork and toys scattered around us. “Hey, Abby,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “Thanks for keeping the kids busy while I finished up dinner.”

I laughed and pushed myself to my feet. “They were keeping me busy,” I corrected, winking at her. I gave her a hug. “How’ve you been, anyway? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Leanne gave me a mildly disapproving look. “That’s because it has been forever,” she chided. “Over a week! We were starting to think you didn’t like us anymore.”

I giggled and shook my head. “You know that’s not it,” I told her. I grimaced. “I’ve just been busy. I know that’s not any excuse though.”

“I thought that when you quit your last job, you were going to have more time, not less.” Leanne sighed.

“When you don’t have a job, you have to treat looking for a job like it’s your full-time job. That’s what my dad always used to say,” I told Leanne.

“So how’s the job search going anyway?” Leanne asked as she led me toward the kitchen. “Matt’s in the shower, by the way. He just got home from work.”

“No problem,” I said. “I know I’m a little early. I was excited to see you and the kids.” I paused and shrugged. “Anyway, the job search isn’t going great. I can’t believe it, but I still haven’t found anything.”

“Something will come up. It’s only been a few weeks,” Leanne reminded me.

“I know,” I said. “I just would have stayed at L&R longer if I had realized it was going to be this hard for me to find a new position.” I shook my head. “Honestly, I’m getting kind of frustrated. Everyone knows I have plenty of experience, but that almost seems to be a bad thing these days. Like, they think they’re going to have to pay me more or something, even though I insist that their terms are fine. I wouldn’t apply for jobs if I didn’t like the terms of them.” I rolled my eyes.

Leanne gave me a hesitant look. “I hate to say it, but could it have something to do with the fact that you’ve got so many different positions on your resume?” she asked. “You graduated, what, four years ago now? And how many companies have you worked for since then?”

“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head. “That’s kind of an outdated view at this point. Most companies are happy to have someone who has already learned the ropes and got a few different points of view on the same kind of business. But maybe that’s just what they keep telling me.”

“I’m sure you’re right,” Leanne said soothingly. “And I’m sure you’ll find something soon. Something fulfilling this time.” But I could hear the doubt in her voice. She understood why I had quit so many different jobs in the time since I had graduated. None of those positions gave me anything I wanted in the long run.

But at the same time, I knew that she didn’t think I was going to find what I was looking for in my work. For her, that kind of soul fulfillment could only be found by getting married and starting a family. We were best friends, but in some things, we were completely different.

Leanne surprised me, though. “Well, I’m sure that something great is waiting for you just around the corner,” she said optimistically. “You deserve a job you love, with a boss who doesn’t run you into the ground.”

I laughed and shook my head. “I’d just settle for a job I love,” I told her. “Although it would be good to be able to see you guys more often.”

Matt came into the kitchen just then, his hair still damp and curling around the edges from his shower. “There’s my favorite little sister,” he said, grinning as he gave me a hug. “How’s it going?”

“Good,” I told him honestly, because even though the job search had been frustrating as anything in recent weeks, things were going well overall. I had been applying for jobs left and right but still found myself with a little spare time to kill, so I’d been getting back into some of my hobbies, things that I had neglected in all the chaos that was my previous job. I was feeling a lot more balanced than I had been when I was working for a tyrannical CEO who thought my every waking hour should be devoted to him.

Matt gave me a once-over. “You look good too,” he commented. “Are you going to the gym again?”

I blushed, pleased that he had noticed. I hadn’t lost a lot of weight yet, nor was I really going to the gym to lose weight, per se. I had long since come to terms with the fact that I was going to be curvy for the rest of my life, and that no amount of time spent at the gym was going to make my hips any smaller. But I did want to be in slightly better shape, tone my arms and legs some more, that sort of thing.

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“Yeah, I started this great program where I get a few classes per week, in yoga or CrossFit or whatever I want, plus access to the pool and weight room,” I told Matt.

“Nice,” Matt said, grabbing the plates that Leanne handed him and beginning to set the table. I grabbed the cutlery and followed after him.

Soon, we were all seated around the table, with Leanne dishing out food to each of us. It was still strange to me to see Matt sit in Dad’s old chair at the head of the table, even though it had been almost a year since Dad had sat there.

That loss still pained me a little when I thought about it too hard. Mom and Dad had been older; they hadn’t had either me or Matt until they were well into their forties. And with Mom’s dementia, honestly it was probably a mercy that she had gone when she had. But to lose both her and Dad in such a short amount of time had shaken the very foundations of my life. I knew that Dad couldn’t live without Mom, that he accepted the quick decline of his health as another small mercy. Still, it was hard to think that I would never see either of them again.

Dinner with Matt and Leanne and the kids reminded me of all those family dinners that Matt and I and our parents had had over the years, though. Zach and Layla were just as rowdy as Matt and I had ever been, each talking over the other in an attempt to tell us all about their day. My melancholy faded quickly as I laughed at a story Matt told about one of his coworkers and smiled as Layla told me all about her part in the upcoming school play.