I step to one side and let her pass. But she doesn’t move anywhere. She remains exactly where she is looking at me. There’s a deep curiosity in her eyes and I know she wants to know everything. She wants me to tear down my walls completely and to be open and honest with her. After what just happened with Anna, I kind of want to, however crazy it is, however much the idea scares me. But no words fly out of my mouth.
“Carter, I think we need to… to talk,” she says quietly. “Don’t you think?”
“Talk?” I repeat, sounding like a dumb parrot. I think my shoulders shrug but I’m not too sure.
“Yes. There are things that need to be said, aren’t there?”
Of course there are, but I’m too terrified to nod. I have just put one woman in the past forever now, I don’t know if I’m ready to do it again. This could be done on another day, surely? “I… I…”
She takes control. She grabs hold of me and pulls me around the side of the building and I allow her to do so. We end up around the other side of the building where no one can see us. We’re completely alone, but outside too. I guess this is where we’re going to end up having our conversation.
I sigh loudly as she presses me back against the wall. Her eyes flash with emotions as she runs her gaze all over my face. She’s searching me, trying to find an answer to all the questions she needs answering. I want to help her. If she can find the answers without me speaking, then we both win.
“You went on a date!” I blurt out without even thinking about it. “With another man.”
Her eyes widen in surprise, obviously she didn’t know that I was aware of that. Now, I’ve just given myself away as a crazed, obsessed stalker. There isn’t anything that I can say to make this any better.
“I… I did,” she admits. “But it was terrible. I did it to try and get over you and me, which I know sounds stupid because there wasn’t really much of a you and me, but I didn’t want to get all involved in a complicated situation. You and me, whatever happens between us, it could cause issues for the business. That’s what I was thinking. So, I agreed to go on a date with Thomas. I thought it might help me… but it was horrible. I didn’t like it; I didn’t like him. None of it was right. All it made me see was how much I like you. Even if I shouldn’t.”
“Wow…” I’m blown away by her honesty. Any anger dissipates. “I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”
“I know, and I know that I have just dived into a more complicated situation than ever before, but I know that this is a ‘now or never’ situation. I know your ex is back in the picture and…”
“My ex isn’t back in the picture.” I shake my head hard. “I know that she’s been about today, but she isn’t back in the picture. She just… well she wanted something from me today. Just like she always does.”
“What does she always want from you? If I’m allowed to ask that.”
“Money.” Urgh, it feels dirty to admit this, but I kinda need to. Especially after what she just said to me. This right here, in this little dark alleyway, is the location of our most truthful conversation ever. To date. If this goes the way that I desperately want it to, then it will be the first of many.
“Money? That’s awful. Can’t she get her own money?”
I laugh at Raelyn through the darkness of my situation. Of course she thinks this way because she’s a kick ass independent woman who makes her own way in life. “You’d think, wouldn’t you? But apparently not.”
“So, is she gone now? She’s not likely to come back for more.”
“I wouldn’t think so, no. I’m pretty sure she got the hint now.”
A silence befalls us. All I can hear is our panting breaths as we breathe one another in. There is a deep passion there, but something else as well. An understanding between us as we slowly and tentatively peel back our layers. It’s scary to show her the real me, to be vulnerable and exposed, but I need to do this. It’s important.
“So, there’s no date?” I ask curiously. “Thomas is long gone.”
“Oh, he’s long gone. Never to return, thank the Lord. He was the rudest pig ever who admitted outright that he thought I owed him sex because he paid for dinner… not the man for me. And no wife?”
“My wife is gone. We divorced over a year ago because she cheated on me with my best friend.”
“Ooh, that’s nasty.” She winces. “That really sucks, I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be sorry. She is long gone now and I’m glad. She was no good for me anyway.”
We’re closer now. I don’t know how that happened but we are. I can feel her tingling all the way through me. It’s nice, much more pleasant than Anna. I feel comfortable with Raelyn; she makes me feel good about myself. Now that I understand what’s going on with her better and she does me, this is thrilling.
She didn’t go on a date because she wanted to. She did it to get over me… but it didn’t work.
She likes me. She likes me potentially as much as I like her…
I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m excited to find out.
“No good for you, huh?” she asks me breathily.