“So, she’s in here,” someone yells, their voice getting through to me crystal clear. “What a good fucking job you kidnapped the chick and not the guy. What the fuck would we have done with him? And you asked him for some money, huh? Shake the fucker down. That’s good, Connor, I’m happy about that.”
Connor. Finally, I know the name of the man who’s put me through this. It doesn’t make me feel anything though, either way. I don’t even feel anything about him, I’m just… gutted.
I lean my head back and dream, thinking only about Carter and the future that could have been. If I don’t have any control over what comes next, then I want the start of what we shared to be the last thing I think about. The exciting potential romance that was on the verge of blooming in to something beautiful.
I smile, actually smile, as his face fills my mind. I remember his grumpy face when we argued, the way that he was always so standoffish and arrogant, back when I didn’t understand him so I didn’t like him. Then I think about us hooking up in the office, moments filled with deep intense passion, and pleasure off the scale. A passion that slowly turned in to something more, a feeling we were forced to face when it seemed like we were with other people. If that hadn’t happened, it might have taken us forever to accept it,
But then of course it all went tits up when we saw something that we shouldn’t have done. Before we could ever get started any future was taken away from us. That’s a shame, I could really see us going all the way. Being together properly, working together and being in love as well. Then getting engaged, then married, having kids. The whole nine yards even growing old together. Maybe it’s easy to imagine because I’m about to die and the truth is we would actually just tear each other apart with ease, but I would rather picture the good stuff. His eyes, his lips, his hands, the way that he actually managed to make me feel good about myself.
I miss him, and I will miss him. I’m upset that we never got to be that…
Bang! This bang is different. It’s sound loud it shakes me from my thoughts. Bang!
> Was that a gun shot? Instantly I look down, searching for blood to see if I’m the victim, but it seems like I’m not. That’s weird, why would there be any shots at anyone else? Aren’t they all on the same team? Unless…
There could have been a betrayal, or the rival gang has come to get revenge for their dead friend. This could be about to get even more dangerous than I first thought. Or could it be good? Could I escape through this?
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Nope, I don’t think this is going to be good. It sounds like a shootout. I duck my head low, but again it’s pointless to protect myself, I don’t stand a chance. If I’m going to die, it’ll happen anyway.
“Police! Put your hands up. Lower your weapons now.”
Police? Did I hear right? Or am I losing my mind? Any possibility could be the right one. But if it is the police… No, I probably shouldn’t think that! Getting my hopes up over nothing isn’t a good idea. I need to be rational and realistic, because that allowed me to be calm at the end last time. I don’t want to give anyone the satisfaction of killing me while I’m in a state of terror. I don’t have much yet… well, anything really, but I do have my dignity and that’s the last thing I’m going to go out with for sure.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
The gun shots are followed by yelling, so much yelling. Angry words are flung about, probably from both sides. Words filled with rage and hate, the last things I need more of right now! I need calm and peace, but I suppose that isn’t going to happen now. Maybe not ever. I can’t even lose myself in my loving fantasy anymore.
I wish that I could block my hands over my ears to get rid of the sound, but I can’t. I have to listen to every terrifying moment of it. I don’t know who’s firing, who’s getting shot, who’s surviving… even if by some miracle it is the police out there, they might all be dead now. Then the gang will surely kill me too, because they will need to do what they can to cover their tracks.
Bang! Bang!
Bang! Bang!
I make sounds that I didn’t even know were possible. They’re almost inhuman, purely because I’m so afraid. It’s weird to know that these are the last sounds I will ever make. This weird guttural whimper...
“Argh!” The sound turns in to a loud scream as the door flies open once more. I slide my eyes closed. I don’t know who is going to be on the other side of that door, the decider of my fate, and I don’t want to know yet. Ignorance is bliss for just a couple of seconds longer, especially if I am going to die…
35
Carter
Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
I grab my cell phone the moment it rings, needing some answers. Having been here waiting for at least twenty minutes since I got back from the police station, but it’s been torture. Too much for me. I haven’t really survived it well, so having some answers is exactly what I need to keep me sane.
“Lee,” I gush rapidly. “Please tell me you have something. I’m going crazy…”
“I know, I know, I can tell from your voice. Don’t worry, I’m very aware. I do have something for you.”
I freeze, stop pacing when he says this. To be honest, I thought that this was going to be him checking in on me because he knows how nuts I am. That’s stupid, really. I know Lee isn’t one for small talk. It just seems like we have been getting closer recently, our relationship has been shifting a bit.
“What have you got, Lee? Because I am ready to go right now.”
“You know I obviously am not going to recommend you going until you’ve calmed down…”
“Yeah, yeah,” I completely dismiss him. “Because you don’t want me to do anything stupid.”