I would have done anything to trade places with my mom, and now I’m in the same position again.
“I will get you some sexy stories soon,” I promise her, even if I have to make them up to help her.
“Good, because I miss having a man to cuddle with… and more. I miss having a boyfriend.”
This is another area where Jane has always been better than me. She hasn’t picked shitty guys like I have, who treat her like crap. She had a nice guy, ever since high school. The only reason they broke up is because he got a job opportunity in Australia, his dream job, and she forced him to go. I think the idea was for them to go for the long distance love, but then she started to get sick, and even though she didn’t know what it was at the time, she let him slide away. I know what Jane is like and I bet he doesn’t even know what’s going on.
I would tell him if I thought it was the right thing to do, but it really isn’t my place.
“I’m sorry,” I reply meekly. “I wish there was something that I could do to help you…”
“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry, I’m just having a moment, that’s all.”
I grab her hand and stare deeply into her eyes. “Jane, you can always gripe to me about anything.”
“I know, but I don’t like to. I spend half my life bitching inside my head, it gets boring after a while.”
Sickness swirls in the pit of my stomach. My head aches with agony. I would give anything to swap places. I even silently beg for that to happen even though I know that it’s useless.
“Do you remember that day,” she says, suddenly changing the subject. “When you were six or seven and I was ten. When we went out into the field with a tent, to camp.”
“Oh, without telling Mom?” I laugh despite myself. “Yeah, what a good idea that was.”
“We thought that we were so cool with our bag of bread that we would eat for dinner and our one sleeping bag. I don’t know what the idea of that was… but then Mom found us just after dark and she kicked our asses.”
“Oh yeah, and we tried to tell her that we were out hunting for fairies.”
“She wouldn’t believe us that we were fairy hunters, would she? What a joke.”
We go on to reminisce some more, going over our childhood days, then on to the high school memories. We weren’t close then, we grew into very different people. She had her group of friends that kept her busy, and I remained quiet… but throughout, we remained friends. When we did spend time together, it was the best, and that’s why we’re the best of friends now. We just understand each other in a way that no one else can ever get.
The loss that I’ll feel if anything ever happens to her will kill me, I just know it. I can’t do this on my own, I can’t cope without her, I don’t have it in me. I’m not strong enough.
As Jane sleeps, all I can do is watch her. As soon as she started to feel tired, she told me to go home and to get some rest, and I will… but not right now. I just want to be in this moment with her for a little while longer. As she sleeps, Jane looks calm and angelic, all the pain is gone. She looks more like the her I remember, that I have spent my entire life looking up to. For a moment, I can just forget that anything else is happening.
“Ah, Lexi!” The door flies open, and Jane’s doctor comes through it. “You’re here.”
“Hi, Doctor Brady, how are things with you?”
I wipe a few stray tears away and smile at him. He sees me falling apart all the time. Just for once I would like to face him with the strength that I show the rest of the world. He doesn’t ever judge me for it, of course, but he’s awesome like that. I’m so glad that he’s here for Jane and she’s in good hands.
“Good… actually, I’m glad that you’re here. There’s something that I want to talk to you about. I have already discussed it with Jane, but I’m certain she wouldn’t have told you.” My heart almost stops beating, I feel utterly dreadful, like this is going to be the worst news ever. “There’s a new experimental treatment on offer that Jane is actually a perfect candidate for. She won’t put herself forward because of the cost, but…”
“But it could help?” A bubble of hope blooms in my chest. “Because if it could help…”
“I have some information for you. It might be good if you take it home to have a look through it.”
I grab all the paperwork from him and smile. This is good, exactly the break I need. This will help in pulling me out of my rut. I haven’t had anything to work towards, that’s what it
is. But now I do. It doesn’t matter to me how much this treatment costs, I will make it work somehow. I don’t have to work at the restaurant forever, waitressing barely suits me anyway, I will get something that pays more, a lot more probably, and I will ensure that Jane gets this treatment. If there is any chance that it could save her life, I am going to do it.
I need my sister, I will do whatever I can to have her back in my life. Anything.
“Thank you, Doctor Brady, that’s really awesome news. I will get back to you about this as soon as I can.”
He nods and smiles, knowing that I will do the right thing. He likes Jane and wants her to live. We all do. And now that I have some power over this, nothing will stop me.
Chapter Four