Secret Desires (Roughshod Rollers MC 4)

“You want me to do me stuff,” Georgia whispers.

“Right!” I say. I smile at her. “So go do that, okay? We’ll live. We’ll figure it out.”

Georgia’s shoulders are trembling. But I don’t know why. Did I upset her? The last thing I want to do is upset Georgia. I reach out and cup Georgia’s cheeks.

“Please don’t be upset,” I say.

“I’m not,” she says, giving me a tremulous smile.

Georgia’s cheeks are soft under my calloused fingers. I’ve leaned in closer than I meant to, and I can see a smattering of freckles on her brown skin. Long lashes blink slowly over her beautiful brown eyes. I’m reminded, abruptly, of the last time I was this close to Georgia. I try not to think about that time too much, because it just makes me feel guilty and ashamed of my complete loss of control.

But, suddenly, sitting here like this…Georgia is beautiful. I’ve always thought so, which is why it’s been so confusing that she hasn’t had more relationships. Can’t other men see what a gorgeous gem she is? Then I remember that that’s most likely my fault; Georgia is so busy helping Lily and me that she doesn’t have time for other relationships.

“Sorry, Georgia,” I murmur.

“What for?” she asks, frowning.

I don’t like the frown. It doesn’t belong on her face. But I suddenly realize that she’s been frowning a lot more lately. It’s why I started wondering if I was taking advantage of Georgia, or if I was somehow preventing her from finding happiness.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “Everything.”

Georgia’s lips quirk into a smile. That’s better. So much more beautiful. My eyes dart down to her full lips. They’re right there. I want to taste them.

So I do.

My lips are on hers before I know what I’m doing. Georgia lets out a small squeak of surprise as I lick her lips, requesting entrance, and they hesitantly open so that her tongue can tangle gently with mine. It’s not a harsh kiss. It’s soft and sweet, and I try to pour in all my wishes that she could be happy into it.

Then, suddenly, Georgia’s pushing me away. She’s blushing furiously, but she doesn’t look angry, just shocked and confused.

“Ethan?” she asks. “What was that?”

“I liked your smile,” I confess. “It looks so much better on you.”

“What?” She looks even more confused.

“Your smile,” I repeat slowly, “is beautiful, just like you.”

She’s staring at me.

“I’m… You think I’m beautiful?” she whispers.

“Of course,” I say, incredulous that she’s even asking. “I’ve always thought you were beautiful.”

She doesn’t look like she knows what to say to that. Her mouth is slightly open, and she’s staring at me, and it could be no clearer an invitation. I kiss her again, and, this time, her lips move against mine.

A distant part of my mind is telling me that this is a very bad idea. It’s reminding me that there’s a reason that I haven’t been this close to anyone since Polly left, that I can’t take the chance of being hurt like that again. How can I ever trust love when the woman I promised my heart to, so long ago, shattered it to pieces? No, I can’t risk opening myself up again, so I hide behind the guise of needing to care for Lily.

But that voice, and all the fears I have, are silenced by the alcohol coursing through my system. If I had to choose any woman to trust and be intimate with, it would always be Georgia. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world, after all, and I love her.

Platonically, my mind tries to remind me. I love her platonically.

I cast the thoughts away. They don’t matter. Georgia is here and her arms are winding around my neck now, and all my fears are gone. I want this and, from the way Georgia is pressing against me, she wants it, too. So what do we have to fear now?

“Ethan,” Georgia murmurs against my lips as she pulls back. My hands run down her curves and settle on her hips. The pupils in her bright, brown eyes are dilated, and it’s hard to look away. She’s caught me in her spell. “Are you sure you want this?”

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“Do you?” I ask her.