“She has an important deadline today,” I say, remembering that Georgia mentioned something yesterday, about something being due today. “So she’s really busy.”
“I’m going to call her,” Lily says with a huff. “Can I borrow your phone?”
Bemused, I unlock it and hand the phone over. Lily quickly locates Georgia’s number and rings it, putting it on speaker. It rings four times before Georgia picks up.
“Ethan?” she asks warily.
“No, it’s me,” Lily says. “Why aren’t you coming to movie day? You always come to movie day!”
“Movie day?” Georgia asks, sounding confused, and I wince at the accusing look Lily shoots me. Then Georgia coughs. “Oh, right, that’s today. Look, Lily, I have an assignment due today, so I really need to get it finished. Sorry.”
Shit, even when we’re mad at each other, we’re in sync. I shake my head and then paste on a smile when Lily looks suspiciously between me and the phone.
“Okay,” she says slowly. “See you another day, Georgia.”
“See you, Lily,” Georgia says. She pauses. “Tell your father I said hi.”
Lily looks expectantly at me. I purse my lips and look away, not wanting Georgia to know that I was in the call too.
“Okay,” Lily says.
They hang up. Lily turns to me, crossing her arms.
“Are you and Georgia arguing?” she demands.
“No,” I try, Lily glares at me and I sigh. “Sort of.”
“What about?” Lily asks, frowning. “Do you want me to help you fix it?”
“No, no, it’s fine,” I say hurriedly. “Look, Lils, it’s just grown-up problems. We’ll fix it, don’t worry about it too much.”
Lily looks unconvinced, as though she’s about to demand an answer so she can do something about it. I don’t even want to imagine trying to explain to her that Georgia and I had sex and that, when I tried to fix it, I just made everything horribly worse.
The problem is, I know, somewhat, why Georgia is upset. I was scared that she might get the wrong idea, so I pushed her to arm’s length and tried to explain it away. What I should have done is asked her if we could discuss it. But, instead, I fumbled everything I was trying to say.
Which isn’t surprising. I’m not entirely sure I knew what I was trying to say.
And, in the end, if I’m honest with myself, I’m the one that’s running scared, here. Georgia’s right. I am such a fucking coward. All because I can’t get that night out of my head.
Every time I let my mind relax, I think about it. Flashes of Georgia’s naked skin, of the way she threw her head back and groaned, are constantly going through my mind. All week, I woke up hard and needing a very cold shower after explicit dreams, all featuring Georgia. I was almost glad that she was so busy this week, because it meant that I didn’t have to see much of her while this was happening. The only thing that was able to, briefly, make me forget about it all was stressing about Polly.
I just need to get Georgia out of my head. She’s my best friend. She’s beautiful, yes, and I trust her more than anyone, and I can’t imagine her not being in my life, and every time, after we had sex, when I began to think of relationships, I thought about her…
I shake the thoughts out of my head. No. I need this to stop happening so everything can go back to normal. I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want a relationship with Georgia, in particular, because that would just ruin everything.
Then again, Georgia is the only person that I could foresee trusting enough to have a relationship with…
“Shit,” I groan.
“Dad!” Lily gasps, and I abruptly remember Lily is still in the room. “You’re grounded!”
“Right,” I say glumly. “Sorry, Lily. I’m just going to go outside to finish my coffee and find where your mom went, okay? You have breakfast, then we’ll get set up for movies.”
“Okay,” Lily says, nodding and rushing to the kitchen.
I sigh and wander over the back door. I wish I knew how to stop these traitorous thoughts. Maybe at some point in the week I’ll head to the Anchor Bar and talk to other members of the Roughshod Rollers. When most of them stop laughing at me, I might get some decent advice on how to stop these stupid thoughts going through my head.
How ironic is it that only woman I am considering for a relationship is the only woman that I can’t have a relationship with? There are very few things that could ruin my friendship with Georgia, and trying for a relationship that will inevitably go wrong is one of those things.