“I knew it,” she says softly.
“What?” I ask, puzzled.
“Nothing,” Marie says, shaking her head. “Amanda’s inside. Go talk to her.”
She pats me on the shoulder and walks past me. I stare at her retreating back as she heads for the elevator, completely confused. What the hell just happened?
Then I shake my head. That doesn’t matter right now. What does matter is that I’ve just been allowed into Amanda’s apartment to talk to my girlfriend.
I step inside and close the door behind me. I can hear some movement from the bedroom and I clear my throat, not wanting to startle Amanda.
“You still here, Mom?” I hear Amanda call. I wait tensely as she walks toward me. “I thought you were going… Oh.”
She appears from the bedroom, staring at me. She doesn’t look happy to see me.
“Lyle,” she says blankly. “What are you doing here?”
“Your mom let me in,” I say, feeling the need to explain myself. Why does she look so unhappy to see me? “I wanted to see how you were.”
“Oh,” she says again. “I’m okay. Sorry I haven’t messaged. I’ve had a few things on my mind.”
“It’s fine, you don’t need to explain yourself,” I say, shaking my head. “I know you’ve been unwell. I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”
“Yeah,” Amanda agrees. “Much better.”
We stare at each other as the silence grows. This feels very uncomfortable. It’s odd; it’s almost like this is our first time meeting. But, even then, it’s never been this awkward between us. Something big has changed without my notice.
“So…” Amanda frowns. “My mother let you in?”
“Yeah,” I say. I attempt a laugh. It rings hollowly in the room. “She almost didn’t let me in, but then she suddenly changed her mind. What was that about?”
It was a subtle query about what, exactly, was going on, and how I had suddenly become enemy number one in their eyes. Amanda avoids looking at me for a moment.
“Just a lot of stuff going on,” she says unconvincingly. “Look, did you want to stay for coffee?”
“Are you sure?” I can’t help but ask.
I don’t know if she actually wants me here or if she’s being polite. She looks startled at the question before she gives me a small smile. It’s nothing like the megawatt smiles I’m used to seeing from her, but at least it’s something. It makes something tense within me settle somewhat.
“Yeah,” she says. “Take a seat and I’ll make coffee.”
“Why don’t we skip coffee,” I say, suddenly feeling brave. “There’s some things we need to talk about, I think.”
She gives me an unreadable look.
“Yeah,” she says after a moment. “You’re probably right. I have a few things I need to tell you, too.”
A pit settles in my
stomach. So the doctor did tell her something important, something that’s hiding from me. I want to be upset that she’s kept this a secret, but I also know that I have absolutely no right; it would make me a terrible hypocrite since I’m still hiding my very identity from her.
Hopefully not for much longer.
Amanda comes around the couch and sits down. Her body is tense and that makes me worried. Is she expecting something to go wrong?
“Did…something happen at the doctor’s?” I ask slowly.
She glances at me.