Accidental Pregnancy

“I’m sorry,” she says, slumping. “This is really hitting you hard, isn’t it?”

“What do you think?” I ask sarcastically.

Alicia gives me a small smile.

“I’m sorry for teasing,” she says. “That was crass of me. What do you need?”

“That’s the thing… I don’t even know,” I admit. “I just know that I need to do something. I don’t want Amanda to think I was only dating her to help the company’s alliance.”

“Wait…” Alicia frowns at me. “You don’t want me to help you fix your relationship?”

“Well, yes, that’s why I need to deal with this first,” I say, shaking my head. “But even if I tell Amanda why I lied to her, she might still want to break up with me. So, until she makes that decision, I just want to show her how much I care about her.”

r /> Alicia stares.

“Damn, how the hell haven’t you been snapped up before now?” she says, shaking her head. “I hope Amanda listens to you; she’ll be letting go of someone really great, if she doesn’t.”

I cough, feeling myself flush. My relationship with Alicia is typically one of ribbing, advice and laughter. Sometimes, in moments when I feel lonely, I imagine that my relationship with her is what it would be like to have a step-mother. She certainly stepped up to the plate when my own mother died. It’s very rare that we say things like that to each other; she usually shows her appreciation in other ways, like bringing me coffee in the morning, or sorting my paperwork so I know what’s most important to do first.

“To be fair, I’m the one who might have driven her away in the first place,” I point out. “I should have just told her the truth to start with.”

“You should have,” Alicia says bluntly. “But you didn’t, and now we need to fix this. Have you messaged her?”

“Not yet,” I say. “I wasn’t sure if I should or not.”

“It was a smart move not to message immediately after, even though your first impulse was probably to ask ‘why’,” Alicia says with a nod.

I smile wryly. It was close; I almost asked, but I managed to stop myself.

“But I should message now?” I ask.

“It would probably be wise,” Alicia agrees. “But try not to question or demand too much. Politely ask her if she could give you a reason, and tell her that you respect any decision she makes. If she did make this decision out of anger, like you suspect, then that might make her think twice about it. After all, she had sex with you just because you offered to leave her to her thoughts yesterday. She’s obviously a woman who doesn’t like being coddled, and wants her independence to decide things on her own.”

“Yeah,” I agree; everything I know about Amanda tells me that Alicia is right. “She’s really ambitious and doesn’t want anything standing in her way. On our first date, she made a point of telling me that her work would be her priority. It took me ages to figure out why she felt she had to tell me that.”

“Not everyone is a workaholic like you,” Alicia snorts. “Though it sounds like you’ve found your perfect match in Amanda, at least. Anyway, let’s see what you come up with. Write a message but don’t send it yet.”

I look down at my phone. What am I even supposed to say to her? I frown and tap my finger on the table, thinking, before I slowly start to type.

“I understand. If possible, could you tell me what happened? I respect any decision you make.”

“How’s that?” I ask, sliding the phone toward her.

Alicia studies the message and frowns.

“Not bad, but not great,” she says. “It’s a little abrupt. Also, saying you understand at the beginning makes it seem like you’ve been having the same thoughts. If you give her that impression, she’ll definitely feel that it was the right thing to break things off with you.”

I grimace. No, I don’t want that to happen.

“Try again,” Alicia commands.

“Slave driver,” I quip.

I type out another message, and Alicia takes the phone back the moment I finish.

“Please let me know what happened. I thought we were going well. No matter what, I respect your decision.”

“Better,” Alicia says. “But that part in the middle makes you seem a little whiny.”