Her Perfect Gift

“Ten… nine…” All of a sudden, the crowd around us start yelling numbers which can only mean one thing. That it’s much later than I thought it was, and we are already at the New Year count down. Of course, that immediately puts an end to any chances for me to be honest about my feelings because I don’t want to start the next year with Seth on a low. We are finally back together at long last; this needs to be a magical moment. We have to embrace the good that has come rather than the bad. “Eight… seven…”

“Oh, we are in the perfect place,” Seth tells me eagerly. “The fireworks are right over there.”

He takes my hand and we look over to where he is talking about. As the numbers continue to cry out around me, I force my brain to shut the down and to focus on what’s to come. Me and Seth do have a lot of good coming our way, don’t we? We haven’t found our way back to one another for nothing. He came back to me for a reason, and I have run off with him to make it work, and that’s what we will do.

“Four… three…” I tilt my head to look at Seth, to put us back in our little bubble where it is only me and him. I like that place, it’s where the pair of us can be more comfortable. “Two… one…”

“Happy new year,” Seth whispers to me. “I love you, Darcy McNeill.”

My eyes fall closed and he kisses me hard, sealing the new year with us together. As long as we have one another, all this other stuff doesn’t have to matter, does it? I mean, it’s just one party that I don’t like and if this side of his life isn’t for me, then I can avoid it, can’t I? It doesn’t have to matter.

“I love you too,” I whisper back as we pull apart. “So much, Seth Bishop. Enough to move here with you.”

Yep, I turned my back on my sheltered nervous life in a small town and I came here for a reason. Now, I have to find a way to make it work, however I can. I don’t have to come to these parties if I don’t want to. Me and Seth can find other ways to spend time together. Date nights, take out on the couch, watching TV, who the hell cares. I am out of the overprotective stare of my parents, which should be enough.

“Let’s take a picture,” I say with a smile. “Post it online. Send it to our friends. Show everyone else how good this party is. Because Ivy is already jealous and that’s just from hearing about it. Seeing it will crush her.”

Now that I’m determined to make this life work, I need everyone else to see how much fun it is, how I’m living this dream. With me and Seth posing in front of the camera, grinning, laughing, and kissing, it really does look like a fantasy life. If I saw these images posted online, I would be jealous as well. That’s perfect, just what I want. Because soon my attitude will catch up with the pictures, and I will feel that as well.

“Are you okay now?” Seth asks me with a smile. “Or do you still need fresh air? Maybe we could even go home, if that’s what you need? I don’t want you to be here if you aren’t enjoying it.”

“I’m okay.” I nod as determination floods me. “I’m ready to get back inside. Let’s party.”

He gives me a curious look but doesn’t argue it, which is good because I’m afraid that I might crack. I let him lead me in and back to all the people who gave me bolts of panic before. They aren’t too scary, I suppose, intimidating as all hell, sure, but not terrifying. They are just humans as well, aren’t they?

I suck in a deep and panicked breath but put on my fake smile, playing a role just like everyone else does. Hey, it seems I am more like these people than I thought. Maybe I will fit in here after all…

“Oh, my goodness, I am exhausted,” Seth declares as we finally get back to his apartment after a very long night. It’s four AM and I have been ready for bed for hours, but I had to wait until Seth was done mingling. It was his thing, he needs to socialize for his job, so it was fine, but I am definitely more comfortable here.

“Me too.” I tug him towards the bedroom, wanting him there straight away. And not for the usual reason. “Come on, let’s get some sleep. I don’t need to be up early or anything, but I do need to rest.”

“I do,” he murmurs as we stagger up the stairs together. “I have a read through tomorrow morning.”

“On New Year’s Day? Are you sure? I don’t remember anyone saying anything like that to you…”

“It isn’t an official one. Just before we left, Winer asked if I would meet up with her so that we can get a head start on the whole thing. This is more of an indie movie, not one of those fantastic high budget pieces which have months and months to film. Our time is limited so we need to make sure that we get every shot right.”

Why does this make me so jealous? Oh my God, it actually hurts to think about him with Winter. I don’t know if it’s just generally because she’s so stunning and charismatic or if I feel like there might be some chemistry between them, but it’s hard. Stupidly hard when Seth has said all the right things to me.

But words and actions don’t necessarily always match up. He might have meant those words back at home, but here is a different story. Here his loyalty will be put to the test… or will it? Am I just being paranoid for no reason? Of course he’s going to have to work with women, that it simply part of his job. He has no choice. And I’m sure that he is always professional, just in the same way that I would be with any clients I got for my makeup. If I start freaking out and acting like a crazy possessive bitch, I will lose him. Seth Bishop is by far the best thing to ever happen to me. I can’t wreck this over an insecurity.

You will get used to this, I tell myself as we undress sleepily and climb in to bed beside one another. This will soon become normal. Just a part of this life. It isn’t like he will run off with his co star.

I turn on my side and watch him drift in to sleep with ease, my heart pounding as he does. As tired as I am, I don’t think that I will be sleeping any time soon. I have too much going on, too many thoughts spinning through my brain. Feelings that I really must sort out before a ne

w morning and a fresh start comes…

“Seth,” I murmur as I stretch out across the bed. My body is aching, probably from the long night and the lack of sleep that followed, so I’m not yet ready to wake up… but I do want to speak to Seth. “Where are you?”

It’s agony but I force my eyes to push open to see what the hell is going on, because his side of the bed is ice cold like he hasn’t been there for a while now. It’s very bright, the morning light is nearly agonizing to my vision, which makes a lot of sense when I take a look at the clock and see that it’s almost mid day.

“Shit,” I mutter as I rub my eyes hard, trying to will the sleep away. “How did I sleep so long?”

I already know the answer to that one, because I was still awake at eight AM, so I haven’t had much rest after all. But that still doesn’t excuse why Seth isn’t in the bed with me. Luckily, there is a note with my name scrawled across it in careful loving letters. I grab at it eagerly, looking forward to what he has to say.

Good morning, beautiful, the words declare, making my heart immediately sing. Sorry that I have left you sleeping, but you looked far too peaceful for me to disturb. I can’t remember if I told you last night or not, but I have a script read through with Winter today. I shouldn’t be too long though. Miss you already, Seth.

Right, of course. The jealousy. That feeling that I am going to have to ignore because it isn’t healthy or helpful at all. I don’t need it and I sure as hell don’t want it. I swallow back a thick ball of emotion doing what I can to stuff it down. It’s okay, it’s going to be just fine, I don’t need to be worried at all. In fact, what I need to do is use this time alone to focus on myself and my business. I need to get my makeup line off the ground. Now that I am finally in a place where I can make that happen, it’s time to find events, network, and make connections.