Her Perfect Gift

But something suddenly strikes me hard. If I wasn’t such a mess, then I probably would have picked this up right away. The apartment is a lot emptier than it was before, there are lots of things missing, things that don’t belong to me. Darcy’s things aren’t here anymore. She seems to be gone… gone? I don’t understand. She has gone, but why. Why the hell would she not be here anymore? Why would she just up and go?

She hasn’t been happy; I tell myself with a lump in my throat. She didn’t like LA at all.

I have known that, of course I have, and then there was the Winter drama which I think that I might have lost sight of, in the midst of dealing with my mother. Oh God, now that I’m really thinking about it, I totally forgot about it all day. As soon as I saw that message from my mother, her quote, everything else just flew out of the window. I pushed the photos of me and Winter out the window, I didn’t even think about it, nor did I consider how it might have affected Darcy. I think that she should trust me because I know that I didn’t do anything wrong, but I haven’t really given her anything to work with, have I? I haven’t made sure that she knows there isn’t anything between me and Winter. I selfishly got obsessed with my mother who doesn’t give a shit about me.

But would she really do something as dramatic as just leave? Without even talking to me about it? As I run about the house it really seems like it, she is gone, which leaves me wondering if there is something else. There must be more underneath the surface, mustn’t there? It’s all that makes sense.

I eventually find my cell phone, which of course has no battery, and I stick it on charge. While it powers up the battery enough for me to switch it on, I hop impatiently from foot to foot, unable to stand it.

“Finally,” I mutter with irritation. “What the hell is that about? Is my phone trying to kill me here?”

I rapidly find her number in my contacts and hit dial. As I wait for the ringing to begin, I’m even more on edge than ever before. I can hardly keep still. An explosion comes from me, rage bubbles as I get her voice mail. What the hell is she doing? She can’t just run off on me and not speak to me then turn her phone off.

“Darcy!” I burst as soon as the bleep of voice mail. “Darcy, where are you? What’s going on here? Why have I just woken up alone to find that you have gone, I don’t understand it. No note, no information, nothing. Is this some kind of permanent thing or will you be back? I thought…” My emotion catches in my throat. “I thought that we were in love, I thought that we were enjoying being together. I know that it hasn’t all been smooth sailing, but I assumed that we were strong enough to work through anything together. Please, Darcy… I don’t know what else to say, but please call me. Please, whatever is going on, let’s just talk about it. Please.”

I hang up without saying anything else, even though I have so much more to let out because I don’t want to freak the fuck out and put her off calling me ever again. I need to know what is going on here.

“Fuck,” I hiss to myself. “What the fuck is this? Why is everything falling apart?”

First off, Winter and that complication. Her changing our friendship that was supposed to be amazing, ruining it with feelings that she isn’t supposed to have. My mother with her nightmare, then this… although losing Darcy i

s the thing that hurt the most. She was my constant, the one person that I wanted to keep in my life forever. With her gone, I feel a bit like I am floating, higher than air, losing my footing…

Ring, ring…

I grab my cell phone as soon as it rings, not giving it a moment to keep on going because I can only assume that it’s Darcy getting back to me, finally giving me the answers that I so desperately need.

“Hello?” But it isn’t Darcy’s voice to greet me. It’s Sierra’s. “Seth, why aren’t you on set?”

“Huh?” Fuck, of course I am supposed to be filming. “Oh, right sure, I’m on the way.”

“I have just been given shit from the director, Seth. You know that the budget is much tighter than movies that you are used to working with. So, time and location are restricted as well. Every minute counts. They can’t fuck around with other things because you have decided for some reason not to show up. You need to get here as soon as possible.”

I find some sweatpants tossed in the bottom of my wardrobe and grab them. It doesn’t matter what I wear to the studio, they will change me as soon as I arrive anyway. “I’m on the way now.”

“They are doing a scene without you for the moment, which the director isn’t too happy about, but you really do need to arrive soon. I don’t want any more harassment.”

“Sure, sure.” I fall on to the bed, knowing that gives me a little while. “I’m on the way.”

Once Sierra hangs up the phone, I let a deep sigh of sadness, knowing that I can’t just go to work without talking about this to someone. There is only one person that I feel can understand this.

“Dad,” I whisper as I hit the call button. “Dad, please help me. I need you right now.”

Thankfully, he doesn’t take long to pick up. “Hey, son, how are you? I was just thinking about you…”

“Dad, I’m a mess,” I jump in right away. “The last couple of days have been… well, I don’t even know how to describe it. Just awful.”

“Oh, I saw something about the woman that you have been in a movie with. The two of you are…”

“No, there is nothing going on between me and Winter, that was all just pictures taken at the wrong times, you know how it is.” Of course he does. “But Darcy doesn’t. She doesn’t get it at all. She thinks that something must be going on, which is why she left. She couldn’t stand it; she doesn’t trust me…”

“Love when you are in the public eye is a very difficult thing, which I’m sure you appreciate more now.”

“Well, it isn’t just that.” I almost forgot about his negativity towards love for a moment. Of course, he isn’t the right person to discuss any of this with. “Mom spoke to the media about me, which encouraged me to get in touch.” I hear a weird banging sound on the other end, like my father has dropped the phone or something. Maybe I should have been a bit more sensitive about how I let that out. “Dad, are you still there?”

“Your mother?” he rasps desperately. “You found her? You spoke to her? Where is she?”

I feel like I might be about to break him here, but I feel like this needs to be done to allow him to finally move on. He has been clinging to a love story for far too long that isn’t ever going to work out… which I fear is something that I might be doing as well. Clinging on to Darcy even though I can’t make it work.