“I can understand that.” I think I can anyway. It all seems a little messy for me. “And so, you stayed here.”
“I did. As you can see, this is the place for me to be, I am really enjoying my time here. It suits me.”
“It definitely does.” My smile falls away just a little as I know that I have to get into this awkward stuff. If we don’t do it now, then I don’t know if the chance will slip by us. “It’s just a shame that you had to run out on me to get here. I would have rather we had some kind of real conversation first.”
“I’m sorry,” she jumps in right away. “I know that was the wrong thing to do. I knew it right away. I was just so scared, and I needed to get the hell out of there. LA wasn’t for me. Especially when I thought that you and Winter were together. And then, you didn’t want me around when you went to meet your mother, which made me feel useless.” She shakes her head sadly as she tells me something that I didn’t even realize.
“I’m sorry, I should have been far more sensitive to your feelings about the whole Winter thing. I didn’t even acknowledge it because I got all wrapped up in the situation with my mother. Because I knew that nothing ever happened between me and Winter, I pushed it to the side. I don’t even like Winter in that way, and I never have. Yes, she tried to kiss me once, and she put all that stuff in my head about neither of us being happy, but I still didn’t entertain her. I didn’t want to, because I finally had the girl that I have spent my whole life wanting.” I break off panting to see her looking at me with nothing but questions in her gaze. “I love you, Darcy, I always have.”
“I love you too,” she whispers as her eyes fill with tears. “I am so sorry that I freaked out.” She reaches out and takes my hand for a moment. All the feelings that I have for her race through me. “How was your mother?”
“Oh God,” I groan while rolling my eyes. “Well, that was a disaster. She was a nightmare. A drug addict who only wanted to get some cash out of me. Not someone that I ever want to see again.”
“I’m sorry.” She spins around and hugs me, pressing her head to my chest. “Sorry to hear that, it must have been hard. I wish I could have been there to get you through it. I guess that I wasn’t thinking either.”
“When I was with her, I wished that I had taken you up on your offer because it would have been much easier to deal with, had you been there.” I huff morosely. “It was hard, but if there is one good thing to come from it, it’s that I think it might have been the closure that my dad needed to move on.”
“That would be nice,” she muffles against me. “He really does deserve to be happy.”
I hold on to her tightly, silently freaking out inside. We have gone through some of the hard stuff, but not all of it. There is a lot that I need to get out there, to find out more about, and I have to do it now. I need to work up the courage to get down to the nitty gritty, to figure out the truth.
“Darcy, are you…?” Oh God, this is so hard, terrifying, I am scared. “Are you pregnant?”
She snaps her head back and stares at me, her eyes dancing with terror. She’s pausing, trying to work out how I feel about this, which gives me my answer. But I still need to hear it directly. Finally, she nods.
“You are?” I step back and clutch my hand to my chest. “Oh my God, you are?”
“I am.” She nods again while gulping back emotion. “I’m sorry that you are finding out this way…”
“Actually, I went to your house and your mother told me.” I can’t help but laugh at the horror on her face. “It’s okay. I mean, she definitely isn’t happy with me, but it doesn’t matter. Anyway, we’re having a baby?”
“We are… is this ok? I know it wasn’t exactly planned, especially when me and you were falling apart… I get it if you are freaked out.”
“I am so happy,” I gasp with joy. “Honestly, you have no idea. This is fantastic. Having a family with you is the best thing that could ever happen to me. I am over the moon.”
I reach out to hug her, but she steps back away from me. I can see that she still has things she needs from me. Just as I thought that we were done, there is more to come. I’m not the only one who needs to push things.
“I can’t go back to LA, Seth, I’m sorry. I tried and I couldn’t make it work. I don’t want to go back.”
“I would never make you go back,” I tell her firmly. “That wasn’t my plan at all. I would come here.”
“To New York?” She nearly falls to the ground. “But don’t you need to be in Hollywood for your movies?”
“I want a new direction anyway.” I smile brightly, doing what I can to reassure her. “And plenty of actors make a successful living while in New York. I can do that too. I will do that. You supported my career and now I can do the same for you, because you are killing it. Also, I want to be here with you to raise my child.”
“You do?” She rests her hands on her belly and I put mine there too. There is a magical pull inside of her, the feeling that she is growing life, making something that is part of both of us. Human life. Our child.
“Of course I do. I need to be here with you. This is it for us. This is our life now.”
I stare lovingly into her eyes and I get the same look back, making me feel incredibly special. I’m so glad that I put in the effort to search for her, because I found what I am looking for. Everything that I am looking for. This is my happily ever after right here, and I am willing to change everything for her. My life, my movies, my home, all of it. And I won’t even look back even once because with Darcy, I only want to look forward to the future. I can’t wait to get there.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Darcy
February 8th
I did not know that today was going to turn out this way. I had no idea that I was going to find myself faced with incredible career opportunities and Seth Bishop wanting me back all in one go, it’s insane. Not only does he want to be with me again, he wants to move here where I am happy, to make things work. If that doesn’t spell love, I don’t know what does. I have been trying to close the door on Seth because I thought that the outside influences would tear us apart forever, but it turns out that we might be strong enough after all.