“I just wish that I had done more to be with her.” I sighed. “I should have stood up in the hotel room and told her that she was completely wrong about me. I should have told her that she made me want to be a better man, that I couldn’t imagine my world without her. I should have done anything but get up and walk away. I never have been very good with women beyond the first date.”
“You don’t know that,” he said. “You just never let anything go past the first date. Look, I didn’t mean to push all that settling stuff down on you when we were in Aspen. I just wanted you to be content and happy, and I was really just projecting my insecurities onto you.”
“Aww, man, that’s all right,” I said. “It really didn’t have anything to do with it. I wasn’t looking whatsoever when I met Bea, but it just kind of happened to fall that way. My heart was attached before my brain could even catch up to what was happening. By the time it had, I was on a plane, making my way to New York. She said she was going to meet me in Aspen on the next New Year’s Eve, so I guess I’ll bide my time until then.”
“Hey, who knows? Maybe you’ll meet someone else.” Glen looked up at a big chested blonde, prancing her way toward us.
“Hi,” she said happily, staring at me.
“Hey,” I said, taking in a deep breath.
“My name is Honey, and I was wondering if you would be willing to book a personal lesson with me?”
I sat there for a second, almost frozen by her words. She wanted a personal ski day with me, and I couldn’t even imagine being around another woman alone for that long. I wanted Bea, not some slutty blonde at the bar.
“This man,” I said, slapping Glen’s shoulder. “He is the man to talk to about personal lessons. He is the master of technique.”
I winked at Glen and swallowed the rest of my whiskey before standing and grabbing my coat. I walked away, glancing back at Glen flirting with the blonde. I smiled and shook my head, making my way to the front doors. It was crazy how everything had flipped since Aspen. I walked outside into the snow, looking up at the night skiers jetting down the mountain for the last couple of times before the slopes closed for the day. It was eerily quiet, and it almost reminded me of that time right before sunrise, when you could hear a pin drop. I wanted to be back in that courtyard with Bea. There was no way around it.
I needed to find her, and I needed to tell her just how I really felt.
Chapter 22
Bea
I woke up and looked outside, standing at the window and thinking about everything that had been going on. I still couldn’t believe that I was pregnant, even after spending the entire week thinking about it. I had set up my first appointment at the doctor’s and bought a couple of books that would help me through all the things I had been feeling. It was an incredibly strange feeling, and even though I had Hailey as support, I yearned for Cameron to be by my side. I knew that it was probably the hormones making me so clingy and emotional, but I wasn’t sure if I would ever get over the feeling of needing Cameron in my life. Growing inside of me was his child, and I needed to figure out a way to let him know that.
I sat down on the couch and pulled out my laptop, searching for anything I could that would lead me to him. He didn’t have social media, I couldn’t find any trace of his business, and the resort website had taken down all the ski instructor information. They were still busy, but the instructors had changed, and Cameron had jetted off to his next destination already. I picked up the phone to dial the resort, my intention being to ask them for his info. When the voice answered on the other line, though, I knew that they wouldn’t give that information out over the phone. So, instead of giving them the third degree, I made reservations in one of their rooms for the weekend. I thought that maybe, if I was there at the desk, they would give me the info. Otherwise, I was booking myself a really nice, two-night vacation in Aspen. I was pretty sure what I was paying for was a room it would take months to put back into my savings.
I hung up the phone and walked into the other room, wanting to keep moving so I wouldn’t lose my nerve. I packed a bag and went out to my car, climbing inside and taking a deep breath. I drove out of my long driveway and hit the highway, not stopping for anything but gas all the way to Aspen. When I drove into the parking lot of the resort, a nervous twinge came over me, and I found myself looking around at the faces passing by, thinking I would see Cameron at any minute. I knew he was gone, though. It was just hard being back there. I checked into my room and went upstairs, pulling out a warmer sweater and then heading back down.
When the front desk was clear of any guests, I walked up to the counter and smiled at the girl typing on the computer. She was young and pretty, with long blonde hair and an impeccably pressed uniform. She was exactly what the resort wanted as the first person to greet the guests.
“Did you forget something?” she asked.
“Huh? Oh, no, I just wanted to ask you a question.” I smiled. “For the month of December, you had some freelance ski instructors here. Their names were Cameron and Glen. I am desperately trying to get ahold of them, and I was wondering if you had a phone number, address, or an email address, even. It’s really important.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” she said sympathetically. “I personally don’t have that information. That would be with the owner, but even if I did have it, I am not allowed to give it to you.”
“Well, is there any way you or the owner could contact them and get them my information?”
“I’m sorry ma’am, but the owner is away himself,” she replied. “He won’t be back until late March. He is opening another hotel in Dubai, and he went there to sign the papers.”
“Wow, okay. Do you think there is anyone else that would have that information?”
“On a professional note, I would have to say no,” she said. “But unofficially, the bartender in the lounge had become pretty good friends with him, so he might be able to help you out.”
“Brian,” I whispered. “All right. Well, thank you for your time.”
“No problem,” she said. “If there is anything else we can do for you, just let us know.”
“I will, thank you,” I replied, turning and walking toward the lounge.
I knew that if I broke down right there, if I told this young girl the situation, she might go out of her way to make it happen. However, as I clutched my stomach, feeling a bit nauseated again, I knew there was no way that I could give her all that information. Hailey and I were the only ones that knew about the baby, and I wanted to keep it that way. I knew that if she knew, she might slip up and say something to Cameron, or even tell Brian.
I walked over to the doors and looked out the windows at the darkening sky. The ski slopes were busy still, the night skiers taking advantage of the good weather. It wasn’t quite as busy in Aspen as it had been around Christmas, but it was definitely still bumping. There was a strange feeling in my chest, like the feeling I had been having in my dreams of Cameron. It was like I could almost feel him thinking about me. I shook the thoughts from my head, knowing it was silly, and it had to be my hormones messing with me. Whatever the reason for my racing mind, I knew that finding Cameron would be the first step at stopping it. After that, it would all depend on how he reacted to the news that he was going to be a father.
As much as I wanted to run into him, I hadn’t even really thought about how I was going to deliver the news. I didn’t want to send him running off for the hills, but at the same time, I wanted to be up