“I’m just happy he didn’t laugh in my face,” I said, glancing down at my huge curvy body. “I thought for sure he was going to reject me.”
“I’m not surprised he said yes,” Rebecca said firmly. “You’re beautiful, Molly.”
I frowned. “I don’t think so.”
“Well, fake it until you make it,” Rebecca said. “Just act confident, and eventually you really will be!”
I groaned as I flopped into a chair and threw my schoolbag on the floor. “I don’t know,” I said. “I wish I believed that. I feel like I’m just going to be this fat awkward loser for the rest of my life.”
“Mol, you have got to stop calling yourself fat! And a loser, for that matter,” Rebecca said. “You’re only a loser if you act like a loser, and you never do!”
I shrugged. “I guess. It’s something, at least.”
“It’s huge,” Rebecca said kindly. “And this way, I don’t know, it’ll be good. Good for you, I mean. Like, even if things don’t work out…you’ll still have the practice of having talked to this guy, right?”
“I guess,” I said. “You’re probably right.”
Rebecca nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “I’m sure everything will work out, boo.”
“Can I have some wine?”
Rebecca laughed. “You’re being naughty,” she said. “It’s Monday!”
“I know, but I feel like I need it,” I said. “Professor Albert gave us fifty pages of reading before Wednesday, can you believe that? This is harder than I thought it would be,” I added. “Part of me wonders if I’m cut out for library school.”
“You are,” Rebecca said. “Although I’ve had the same thought.”
Suddenly, the bathroom door in the hallway swung open. Alex strode out, his chest puffed in the air. When I saw him, I gasped. My cheeks went flaming red and I bit my lip, blushing furiously.
“Well, well, well, Molly’s home!” Alex said in a mocking tone. He walked closer and pouted. “And she doesn’t think she’s cut out for library school, what a shame!”
“Shut up, idiot,” Rebecca said, throwing the words like daggers across the room. To me, she gave me an apologetic look and shrugged. “I had no idea he was coming over, he said he had something to tell me about Mom.”
All I could do was nod. My brief, newfound happiness sailed out the window as I watched Alex pick his way around the kitchen like a cat. He opened the pantry and searched through, humming under his breath as he flipped through our boxes of healthy cereal and granola and snacks.
“You’re so healthy,” Alex said in amazement. “The guys at the fire station would shit themselves if I showed up with this shit!”
“I like to watch what I eat,” I said modestly, looking down at my hands in my lap. They were sweater than ever and I wiped them on my damp skirt.
Alex looked at me for a long time. He let his blue eyes travel the length of my pudgy face, neck, breasts, and the rest of my body.
“What?” I asked. I could feel the blood rising back to my cheeks.
“Oh, nothing,” Alex said. “You just seem like a girl who doesn’t like to diet, that’s all.”
I was too stunned to respond.
“Shut up, Alex!” Rebecca said. She put her hands on her hips. “If you’re going to keep acting like such a jerk, go home!”
“Oh, sis,” Alex said, pouting. “I haven’t even told you why I’m here!”
“I don’t give a fuck if you can’t be here without being rude,” Rebecca said, sassing him back and glaring. I had to admit, I was happy my best friend was standing up for me. But I deserved to be made fun of – I was a huge whale. There was no way a guy like Alex would ever be interested in me.
I should just be happy that Dan said yes, I thought, trying to bring back the fun and excitement of my upcoming date. It doesn’t matter what Alex thinks – he’s a jerk!
“Sorry, Molly,” Alex said. He sniffed. “You’re a big, beautiful woman.”
Even though I knew he probably didn’t mean it, I blushed anyway.