I let myself inside. Closing my eyes, I dipped my head and twirled in a slow circle. My thighs were still slick and slippery with my own arousal, and I felt sensual and different, somehow more powerful.
Rebecca was right, I thought. Who would have possibly known that I just needed sex to feel confident for the first time?
“Mol? Is that you?”
“Yeah,” I called back. “I just got home.”
Rebecca came into the living room with her hands on her hips. “You were gone for a long time,” she said.
“Yeah.” I flushed, feeling guilty. “I was with Alex.”
Rebecca rolled her eyes. “I know,” she said. “I gave you his number, remember?”
I nodded. “Sorry,” I said. I swallowed. The tension between us was as thick as my thighs. “I don’t want this to be awkward for you.”
“Because you’re sleeping with my brother?” Rebecca shrugged. “It’s fine.”
That stung a little bit. “It was your idea in the first place,” I said, still determined not to let Rebecca know how long I’d lusted over Alex.
“Well, yeah, but I didn’t think you’d hook up more than once,” Rebecca said sourly.
I didn’t reply. Biting my lip, I looked down at the ground.
“I’m going to take a shower, and then go to campus for a while,” I said. “I have a lot of work to catch up on.”
Rebecca nodded. “Okay. Will you be home for dinner?”
“Yeah, what are you making?”
“Do tacos sound good?”
“Yeah,” I said. My stomach rumbled. I was still full from the ice cream, but something about eating massive amounts of sugar at once always made me hungrier than usual.
Rebecca looked relaxed for the first time since I’d gotten home. “Okay,” she said. “Oh, and could you check my mailbox? I’m expecting something for a class, some dumb book for a group project.”
“Yeah, no problem,” I said. “Anything else?”
Rebecca shook her head. As soon as she was back in the kitchen, a smile spread across my face. I gave my first blowjob, I thought, closing my eyes and remembering how it felt to have Alex’s cock and balls in my mouth. It hadn’t been all fun – my jaw had ached like heck after the first few minutes – but having a sense of power over Alex, holding him in the palm of my hand…that had made everything worth it. I’d never understood before why some women enjoyed giving blowjobs so much, but I was really starting to get it.
And the way he’d fingered my butt! I couldn’t even think of it without blushing, but it hadn’t been gross or weird at all. It had been amazing and sexy, and more than a little risqué.
Locking myself in the bathroom, I smirked at my reflection. I didn’t look great – I’d gotten a little pink from the sun and my hair was still a sweaty mess, but I did feel different. You’re a real woman now, I thought, mugging at my reflection. And real women know just how to enjoy themselves in bed.
I stayed under the spray of water for so long that it turned tepid and cool. Getting out, I towel-dried my hair, then changed into a fresh pair of jeans and a flowy top that I liked to wear when it was unbearably hot outside. Putting my hair in a bun, I packed my things into a backpack and went to wait for the bus.
I frowned, remembering the girl from outside Alex’s apartment. Who was she, and why had she laughed like that? I wanted to believe Alex that he was with me because he wanted to be…but what if this was all some kind of joke? What if Alex was only sleeping with me because he wanted to laugh behind my back?
I shuddered. I didn’t want to think that was the case, especially now that I’d really started to develop serious feelings for him. And what was I supposed to make of that? What was I supposed to do when I couldn’t hold it in anymore?
By the time I got to campus, I was a complete mess. I checked Rebecca’s mailbox for her – sure enough, there were a few books bound together with a rubber band. As I was moving to tuck them inside my purse, I stumbled and dropped the books on the floor.
I frowned as I bent over. Two of the books were library-science related, but the book tucked in the middle looked like a psychology book for young adults.
“What If I’m Not Like Everyone Else?” The title read. Underneath it was a small rainbow flag. Just as I was about to crack it open out of sheer curiosity, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I screamed and dropped the books to the floor.
“Oh my god, Molly, calm down!”
Turning around, I put my hand over my heart and sighed. “Dan! You can’t sneak up on me like that,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m so jumpy!”