She pinched the bread between her fingertips and smeared it with more oil.
I watched the color in her cheeks move to her neck. I watched the way she lost her confidence, like she was actually afraid of me. “I’m a scary man, baby. The scariest man in this country. But as long as you don’t betray me, you have nothing to fear. I’m a criminal, but I don’t harm the innocent. They stick to their world, and I stick to mine.” I had the power to make anything happen, to commit murder in broad daylight, and the police wouldn’t touch me. Reporters would cover it up to protect their friends and family. The entire world turned the other cheek—since I let them be.
“You just told me you torture people. I think fear is a rational response.”
“I torture liars, thieves, and assholes. Are you a liar, thief, or asshole?”
She popped the bread into her mouth and chewed slowly.
“I didn’t think so.” I drank the red wine before I set the glass down again.
Siena was quiet now, her interrogation barely surviving a single question.
“You have a lovely home. I apologize for not mentioning it before.” I’d been too busy fucking her on the kitchen table and the bed to make small talk.
“Thank you. I love it there.” She abandoned the rest of her bread on the plate, having her fill from a single bite. “I know it’s a bit small, but I think it’s the perfect size. As long as I don’t have more than two kids, it should work.”
She spoke of a family like it was the only thing in life she really wanted. She didn’t discuss other ambitions, like starting her own company or pursuing hobbies. She just wanted a family to live in that cozy house.
“What?” she asked, addressing the quizzical expression that must have been on my face.
“Nothing.”
“You had this look in your eyes, like you were confused by what I said.”
“I guess I’m just intrigued by the certainty in your voice, like having a family is the only thing you want.”
“It’s not the only thing I want. But it’s one of the things I want most.”
I’d thought she was different from all the other women I met. Maybe she wasn’t.
She cocked her head slightly, picking up on my tone. “Let me guess. You’re one of those men who never wants to get married.”
“And you’re one of those women who has to get married.”
She shrugged. “I don’t have to get married. If it never happens, it never happens. But I want to meet the love of my life, fall madly in love, and sleep beside him for the rest of my life. If that makes me sound boring, I don’t care. If that makes me sound unoriginal, so be it. Marriage to the wrong man sounds terrifying. It could be a trap with no escape, a commitment to misery. I never want to be married for the sake of being married. There would be no point when a man can’t offer me something I can’t offer myself. But a marriage to the right man…sounds like the greatest experience.” She wrapped her fingers around the stem of her glass and brought her wine closer to her. “Think less of me for it. I don’t care. Just as I don’t think less of you for wanting to be a bachelor forever.”
“You don’t think less of me?” I asked, a note of surprise in my voice. “You aren’t going to tell me all of that will change when I meet the right woman?”
She chuckled and shook her head. “Everyone is different. Not all of us are meant to spend our lives with one person. We’re wired differently. And the second we start making people feel strange for being different, we’re in the wrong. So if you want to be alone for the rest of your life, Cato, then be alone. If you don’t want a family, don’t have one.” She sipped her wine then licked her lips.
My mother always told me how she wanted Bates and me to marry. She said even if she’d known my father would run out on her, she would do it all again in a heartbeat. Having all the money in the world didn’t compare to sharing her heart with the two of us. She said I would never understand until I had children of my own. “Bates and I made a pact never to get married.”
“Married to each other?” she teased. “Good. I don’t have a problem with two men, but I have a problem with two brothers.”
The corner of my mouth rose in a smile. Now that we’d stopped discussing murder, she relaxed. She turned into her flirtatious and playful self. “In our world, we can’t trust anyone but each other. A bad marriage could affect the business. It could destroy our lives. Neither one of us wants kids, so marriage is unnecessary.”