Oh I feel dreadful, using her as an excuse like that. She would kick my ass if she knew. Or maybe she’d cut me some slack because she knows that I’m going through a crap time, but it’s still wrong.
“Better,” I reply carefully. “But she still needs me around right now. Sorry, I know that’s unhelpful…”
“No, no, we get it. We know that you’re having a bad time, we just… we care about you, Jace, we want to know that things are okay with you and none of us have heard from you.”
For a reason! I want to scream. Because I need a break from you all. But of course, I don’t say that.
“I know, I’m sorry about that. It’s just been so crazy here, I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ve managed to keep Billy off your ass for now.”
“Thanks for that. I know that must have been really hard for you, he’s relentless when he wants to be.”
We both laugh awkwardly. There’s a chasm of distance between us now, I think that’s been growing for a long time. Maybe that’s always been there and I didn’t notice it before.
“So, Billy has been going on about getting back in the recording studio and he wants to set up dates.”
“Erm yeah I will… talk to him about that.” I need this call over now. It’s making me panic. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do yet and I really don’t want to be pushed in to a decision one way or another.
“Yeah, I mean I can pass a message on if you like. I’m seeing Billy a bit later on today…”
“Oh no, it isn’t fair for you to keep being the mediator. I will sort it out.”
“Yeah okay… if that’s what you want, Jace. I just want… things to be okay for you.”
I sigh loudly, my head falling into my hands. “It’s for the best. Don’t worry, mate, I’ll sort it.”
“Right okay, well you give me a call if you need anything at all. I’ll do whatever I can.”
“Thank you, Andrew, I appreciate that a lot. Now I better get going because I need to…” I trail off on purpose.
“Of course. You get on. I know you must have a lot to do, so… speak soon.”
“Right, great. I will speak to you as soon as I can.”
We say our goodbyes and hang up. I try to work up the courage to call Billy now, to get it over and done with so I can enjoy the rest of my day, but I just can’t quite figure out the right words to make it alright again. How can I tell Billy that I don’t know if I want to end up in the recording studio again, never mind when. It will kill him and in turn, he’ll kill me. Plus, the phone calls will be relentless and I can’t deal with that right now.
Deal with it later, the devil on my shoulder tells me. Just live in the moment for now.
I take the coward’s way out and leave my phone on the kitchen counter, avoiding the inevitable that’s coming for me however much I want to avoid it. Telling myself that I have one more day makes it that much more comfortable. I mean, I have just brought myself a little bit longer, Andrew thinks I’m having a hard time when it comes to my mom so he will make the guys leave me for a bit. Even Billy won’t be able to fight it.
I exit the kitchen quickly and head back into the bedroom where the most beautiful woman in the world is.
“Oh, morning.” She’s sitting up in the bed, smiling at me. “I wondered where you’d gone.”
“My phone rang. I thought it better to take the call in the other room.”
“Anyone interesting?” She glances down at my hands. “I cannot believe that you came back without coffees.”
I laugh and slide back into the bed with her. “I’ll make some drinks in a moment.”
My hands brush over her skin, the warmth of her body under the sheets is incredible. Of course I instantly want her again. She’s a sex goddess, how could I not want her? Every minute of every day if I could.
“You aren’t going to tell me who was on the phone?” she asks, her voice raspy with desire. Her head falls back and her eyes slide closed. She’s woken up on fire, just like always. “Was it your wife?”
I laugh and shake my head. “Sure was. She wants me home now.”
I kiss over her collarbone and down ever so slightly. The covers slide off and I get a glimpse of her gorgeous rock hard nipples. I harden myself, my cock edges to get inside of her, but I don’t cave in. Instead I let my lips further explore, to find what they are so desperately searching for.