Rock My World

Luci takes a sip of her drink and cocks her head at me. Her eyes run all over me and pierce right through me. I shift uncomfortably in my chair, wondering if she somehow already knows the truth. Someone could have seen us, I don’t know. We have been out in public together. She will hate me even more for lying…

“You’re distracted, Addison,” she tells me seriously. “And you seem a little closed off.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. I don’t mean to be… I’m just tired.”

I shake my head and rub my eyes. I am tired, but that isn’t what the problem is. I need to suck in a couple of calming breaths and to just blurt it out already. But the words are stuck in the back of my throat, I can’t seem to get them out however hard I try. Not that I’m trying very hard.

“I can see that you’re tired, but I think there’s more to it. It all seemed to start with the mystery guy.”

“M… mystery?” What am I doing now? I’m acting like I don’t even remember. It’s dumb.

“Yeah, you know, the one that Hayley emailed you about and wouldn’t give you any details. I think you had a good date, but it’s spiked something. You have been on a lot of dates since.”

I can’t sit still any longer. It’s like I have ants in my pants and I need to move before I go crazy. I move over to the kitchen sink and stare out the window, just so I don’t have to look at her face as I lie. I have a few unread emails from Hayley that I’ve just been ignoring, just like the rest of the world.

“That’s what the dating agency is for, isn’t it? Dating, getting to know myself.”

“I know and I get that, but it doesn’t seem like you’re finding yourself. It’s more like you’re losing yourself.”

My head hangs low, I’m sure she does see it that way and I’m just making it worse by not being honest. Really, I feel more like myself than I have ever done before, but I haven’t been able to show Luci that.

“I… I… I don’t know what to say.” What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just say it?

“Addison, that sounds like a cop out to me. I know you well. You have something on your mind and it bothers me that you’re not just telling me the truth. It would be so much easier if you just did. If you’re in some kind of trouble or something, then just tell me. I will help you, whatever it is.”

Now I feel even worse. Luci is actually worried about me which she doesn’t need to be. I’m not being fair.

“Luci, I… I do have something to tell you and I’m afraid how you’re going to react.”

“Oh, Addison, just tell me please. I really need to know.”

“The mystery man…”

“I knew this was something to do with him…” She sees my shoulders slump forwards. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t just… sorry, please just tell me what’s going on.”

“The mystery man is someone I know. Someone you know as well.”

“He is? The rich guy? Ooh, that’s exciting. Is that why his identity was all secret? Is he nice? Do you like him? Is that who you have been spending all your time with? Sorry, I’m hitting you with too many questions all at once. I’m just really excited for you. Please, go on. You tell me what’s happening here.”

“It’s…” Oh god, she’s going to kill me. I know she is. I can’t stand it. “Jace.”

“Jace?” All the color drains from her face. “Jace who? Jace Fairs?” She rakes her fingers through her hair. “You are kidding me, right? Jace Fairs? Your ex? That asshole who cheated on you? I thought he didn’t come back here, I didn’t realize that he was back in town… oh god, this is a joke, right? Please, tell me this is a joke.”

&nb

sp; Her face twists up in pure fury. This is even worse of a reaction than I was expecting. I know she hates Jace because of what he did, or what she thinks he did anyway, but I thought she’d be more confused at first.

“It isn’t a joke, Luci, but just hear me out, please. I know you have my best interests at heart, but…”

“I do have your best interests at heart and that’s why I’m just utterly blown away that you would do something so stupid. That he would even bother coming anywhere near you after what he did. It just… this baffles me. The dating agency was supposed to be a way to take you forward not for you to back slide. If I even thought that…”

“Luci, please.” I try to keep my voice steady but the emotion cracks in regardless. “Please, just hear me out. Don’t react like that until you’ve listened to me. I have reasons for what I’ve done…”

She stares at me, her eyes as wide as they can possibly go. She really doesn’t seem to even want to try and understand what’s going on with me. She’s just too furious to even begin to understand. But I’m going to have to try. I can’t lose my best friend over this, I need her to see just a little bit.

“Luci, I didn’t know it was him when I first went on the date, you know that…”

“Did he know?” she bites out, her hands on her hips. “Was it all a big plan?”