“I know, I know. That’s why I won’t ask you, but would you like to do something afterwards?”
“A date?” she clarifies, as if this is something that needs clearing up.
“Of course. Nothing fancy.” I can tell she doesn’t want that. “Something low key. A movie and dinner.”
Her face breaks out into a grin. “Yes, I would like that. Are there any good movies out at the moment?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “Does it matter? Good or bad? We can sit in the back row…”
I love the way that she blushes, she looks so utterly adorable. “Ooh, you are cheeky. That sounds good.”
“Great, so can you be ready by eight PM again?”
“I sure can. It won’t be easy. But I’ll make it work, for you.” She leans in and kisses me. “But that’s only because you’re worth it. I wouldn’t do it for anyone else.”
For a brief second, her face falls and I can almost see her thinking about Luci. I get this must be hard for her, I wouldn’t deny that. Her best friend hates me. She is dead against us being together and it’s going to cause a rift between us. Much as it irritates me, I can’t blame Luci. She thinks that I’m a bad person, that it’s my fault she almost lost her best friend in college. I’m sure the media reports about what I’m like now haven’t helped her opinion of me. I’m annoyed that we lost so much time but I still can’t blame Luci.
I just don’t know what I can say to make it right. I don’t know where to begin.
“This is really nice!” Addie says much too brightly, trying to forget about Luci. “You really can cook.”
I go with it, because I don’t know what else to do, and I let her change the subject. It might be the coward’s way out but without anything to offer there’s no point in me saying anything.
“Thank you, I’m glad you like it,” I reply blandly instead, cringing inside. This isn’t good really, it isn’t a good start to our new better communication, but it’s necessary. I just don’t know what to say.
Still, maybe we can talk about it tonight when the moment is right.
“T hat movie was good, wasn’t it?” I ask Addie as we walk along the street. “Did you enjoy it?”
“Hmm, yeah. It was good, thank you.”
“And you enjoyed dinner, right?”
“I sure did.”
She’s been distant all night, not so much so that I need to call her out on it, but it’s enough to have me worried. It could just be work, it could really be as busy as she’s been telling me which has her tired, or it could be the whole mess with Luci still playing on her mind. I know that I need to address it, but I’m afraid.
Scared that I might lose. Even if I am telling the truth and I always have been. After all, Luci has been around for the last six years whereas I have not.
I turn to Addie and suck in a deep breath to prepare myself to say something about Luci. Just to start the dialog. Putting it off isn’t going to change the outcome of it so I might as well face it head on. Be brave.
“Is everything okay?” she asks me, concern plastering her face.
“I just… I wanted to talk to you about something.”
She shifts from foot to foot and averts her gaze from mine. That doesn’t seem like a good sign. I’m going to have to really work my magic here to make sure we have something to cling on to.
“I love you.”
Shit, where the hell did that come from? That isn’t what I was supposed to say. It isn’t even like I’m on the right track. Sure, this is something I feel and something I want to tell her, but not like this.
“You… you love me…?” she asks curiously.
“Y… yes,” I’ve started now, I might as well continue with it. “Yes, I do love you.”
Tears brim in her eyes; it makes me emotional too. Before I know it, I might be weeping myself.
“I love you too.” She nods decisively. “I do. I love you.”