Rock My World

“Yeah, that does sound good. I think I’d prefer it if you were there. Clearly, I don’t date well alone.”

“Well, you and I should hang out later if you like?”

“I would like that.” I find myself smiling. “Come to my place for dinner? We could get take out.”

“Perfect. I will see you tonight then. I’m sure you’re busy with work.”

I sigh and look at all the papers stacked up on my table. I should be through all of them by now, but the desire to run myself into the ground has waned and there isn’t any sign of it coming back. It will though, I’m sure.

“I am, as always. I’ll see you tonight. Thanks, Luci. You’re the best!”

“Love ya, girl. Glad to have you back.”

“Yeah. Glad to be back.” I think. “Love ya too!”

I hang up the phone and allow the happiness to flood me. At least I still have her, things would be so much worse if it had gone on any longer. And she did always have my best interests at heart, I can’t deny that. Next time, I will just listen to whatever she’s telling me without thinking that I know best.

It’s rolling on to lunch time and I could use a break. Usually, I eat at my desk, but today I need to get out so I leave my sandwich in my bag and grab my purse to go outside. I wave at everyone as I leave, answering a few questions as I go, and soon I find myself out in the world. I breathe in the fresh air, so glad that I’m out. The atmosphere of work in which I used to thrive now has the ability to stifle me.

It will be okay, I tell myself, the words that have now become my mantra. It will be fine. I can keep going, get back to who I used to be, and just keep taking breaks whenever I need to.

“Addie?”

My heart freezes. That’s Jace’s name for me, but that isn’t him calling me. It’s a female voice, which means either someone else knows about his nickname, or it’s… his mother.

“Oh, Felicia.” I try to smile as brightly as I can despite the discomfort inside. “How nice…”

“I saw you a while back, but you were busy…”

I remember that. I hid from her because I didn’t want to talk to her. Now, just because I didn’t have my usual self-awareness, I’m stuck having the most awkward conversation ever.

“Yes, I’m usually very busy…”

“I know, you have a very important job, don’t you?”

I cock my head to one side and stare at her. I don’t know how much she knows and that scares me. Jace might have told her everything, she might know that we’ve been hanging out again and that it blew up, or he might have told her nothing. I don’t know and that puts me on edge.

“It’s a shame that I haven’t seen you much over the last few years. We always got on well.”

I have to smile. She’s right, we did used to have a good time. I always had fun with her when Jace and I were dating. It’s hard to separate her and him which is why we haven’t seen one another in years.

“If Jace…” even saying his name aches my chest, “wasn’t so far away, conquering the world with his music, maybe we would have spent more time together.”

“We could always spend some time together now if you like?”

“Now?” Uh oh, what have I gotten myself in to.

“Yes, unless you’re busy with work.”

I could, I suppose. It wouldn’t be the worst thing ever, just very awkward. Plus, as much as I want to say no, I can’t think of any legitimate reasons right now. I’m sure there are hundreds, but they’ve evaded me.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Let’s go for a coffee and a cake.”

Such an innocent suggestion that could go oh so wrong! My heart races painfully in my chest, my gut is screaming at me to get the hell out of this mess, but I can’t.

“Sure, sounds good.”